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The lucky bitch claims he received a special peck from Prince Hot Ginge. That explains why he has that third-degree burn mark on his cheek. It's where PHG planted his flaming hot lips. You know I've got it bad for PHG when I would actually consider licking that dude's cheek completely sober. I would even ignore his awesome popped collar. Ring the crazy alarm.

21-year-old Rocky Bennett tells the News of the World that he was out boozing at Liquid night club when he noticed royalty was in his midst. Rocky must have been drunker than Noah Cyrus on Christmas morning, because he strolled up to Prince Hot Ginge and offered him a proposition everyone would refuse. Rocky said, "I went up to him and told him I would love to buy him a drink - if he gave me a kiss, Harry just burst out laughing, threw his arms around me and kissed me on the left cheek. I'm not going to wash my face for a month now! It was the best moment of my life. I just burst into tears, he's so down to earth."

Now, I'm not calling the adorable Cornish gayme hen a liar, but if Prince Hot Ginge even looked my way, I'd do more than burst into tears. My loins would burst into FLAMES! I would be serving up No-No Flambé. It would be like Firestarter stared down my genitals. It would be a back, front and side draft. You get the terrifying picture. Unfortunately.

When Rocky left the club, he spotted a beautiful image that I thought only existed in the museum of my dreams. Rocky said, "Afterwards we saw him in the McDonald's across the road. Harry ordered a quarterpounder meal with a coke - I think he wanted to sober up."

The fact that Nicole Kidman has a baby friend completely dropped off the face of my brain. Maybe because she doesn't shine Sunday Rose up and push her out on the ho stroll like someone we all know and loathe.

Here's Nicky and Sunday hitting the NYC clubs to get crunk last night. Sunday looks a little surprised and confused, because it's not often that she sees people who don't have faces like Julie Masking.

St. Angie Jo and Billy Goat Brad floated down from their majestic crystal cathedral in the heavens to attend MOCA's 30th Anniversary Gala in Los Angeles last night. Maddox didn't go, because if he wants to look at art, he'll just glance into the mirror. Speaking of....

I have a valid question. Did St. Angie and Brad look at the art? Or did the art look at them? You know there's a Brangaloonie screaming about how lucky those paintings are to be in the presence of such holy greatness. If only one of the bitches in those paintings had the balls to tell Brad that a skanky rat wouldn't even chew on his scraggly chin foliage. If Brad insists on wearing Janis Joplin's pubic bush on his face, he could at least take a VO5 hot oil treatment (and a comb) to that mess.

Remember when Shayna Lameass called The Empress of Lucite "pure trash"? Just pretend you do and nod your head yes. Well, look who is the piece of trash now! Garbage day is now on Sunday, because this bitch Shayna Lamas got arrested for DUI.

TMZ, Radar, Penny Saver or Craigslist Missed Connections didn't break the story. No, they didn't want to spend their Saturday night Googling to find out who the hell Shayne Lamas is. Instead Shayne told E! (the network her reality show airs on) about the incident and issued her own prepared statement:

"Early Saturday morning, after consuming one drink, I willingly drove through a mandatory check point on my way home with complete confidence of passing. However, the breathalyzer indicated that I was over the legal limit of blood alcohol content and was arrested onsite. I take full responsibility for my lack of judgment. I have always strived to be a role model for my friends, family and fans and have never nor will ever condone drinking and driving. I apologize for all those I have disappointed, including myself."

I just went in to the next room to ask my ceiling fan if he knew who this trick was and the bitch gave me the silent treatment. So I will take that as a big NO. Obviously, Shayne is still drunk off of that one famewhore-tini, because she's talking foolishness with that "role model for my fans" shit.

Patricia Paay, Dutch singer and ravishing beauty who is set to become the oldest ho to bare her prune in the pages of Playboy.

In the December issue of Dutch Playboy, 60-year-old Patricia proves that you are never too old to show off your memaw mammaries or granny lips (both pairs) to the public. Yes, homegirl is 60 and looking like Lindsay Lohan's much younger sister. Get that shit, Patty! Show off those Werther's Originals for grannies everywhere! (Note to my own mom: DON'T EVEN! DON'T!)

Below is Patricia singing one of her hits back in the day.

(For Dionne)

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