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There's been many a rumor going around that Jessica Biel is no longer taking a strap-on to Justin Timberlake's succulent nalgas. They have denied the rumors and continue to be photographed walking arm-in-arm like they are still seeing hearts in their eyes. Some source tells Fox411 that Justin and Jessica are together, but only on a part-time basis. Basically, they are fuck time friends.

The source added, "Justin was very clear with Jessica that he didn't want to be in a serious relationship with her anymore where he wasn't able to date other people. Jessica took the news very hard, but once she calmed down and they started talking again, he convinced her to stay friends who hook up, without all the pressure of a relationship. At first she was very reluctant, but she missed him a lot and so she decided to give it a try even though it wasn't exactly how she wanted things to be. She's still in love with him, and they are still attracted to each other, so it would have been difficult for them to quit each other cold turkey."

If I was Jessica's confidante/roid-supplier, I'd tell her ass to take her silicone dick elsewhere. Pack that shit up and find a new hole to bone. I mean, Justin demoted her from full-time to part-time lover. It's just a matter of time before he finds a different ho that can make him squeal like...well...like Justin Timberlake hitting falsetto.

Besides, Jessica has already munched on that ass, so it's time to find a different flavor.

And below is Justin on the set of the Facebook movie today. Justin is playing Sean Parker. I didn't know Sean Parker got his clothes from a guido's dirty laundry basket.

Comedian Katt Williams was arrested last night for allegedly breaking into a home in Georgia and snatching a bunch of stuff. Katt's lawyer Williams Briggs tells TMZ that he has been set up! According to his Willy B, while Katt is shooting a movie in Georgia he's staying at the producer's home. The same home he was accused of robbing.

Willy B claims that Katt got into an argument with one of the producer's employees who lives in the guest house. Katt really must have made that bitch's balls boil, because the employee called the cops and reported a fake burglary. Willy B said that Katt has been staying at the house for nearly 3 weeks and was given full permission to be there.

And now you've just learned the fastest to get a bitch out of your house. The next time one of your fuck buddies overstays his welcome and starts yammering about brunch plans while cuddling (SHUDDER) with you, call 911. Tell them a strange man is robbing your ass. Yes, you will eventually be jailed for crying wolf, but at least you won't have to cuddle with a ho.

BONUS! TMZ also has a 911 recording of some 17-year-old boy claiming that Katt was holding him against his will. The call was made last Tuesday. The boy said that he was about to take a car to the airport when Katt showed up and wouldn't let him leave. Katt also threatened to beat him up. The cops arrived at the scene, but didn't make any arrests.

Look! It's a giant asshole and a giant pussy. You decide which is which.

If you happened to be making your way to Times Square in NYC last night when your genitals suddenly jumped off your crotch and headed straight for Port Authority, you now know why. Jon Grosslelin and Levi Johnston shared the same space in Times Square to shoot a segment for The Insider. Where was Nancy Grace or Kate Gosselin's rabid possum head when we needed them most?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go douse my pea coat with pig's blood and feed it to a pack of wild coyotes.

Image VIA NYDN

Birthday: ?
Age: ?
Birth Name: Dolores

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 5, 2009
Claim to Fame: Dolores was just a regular ole' bear at the Leipzig Zoo in Germany. And then for some reason, Dolores and the other chick bears (named Lolita and Bianca) lost all of their fur. While experts try to figure out why the bears have suddenly become Jude Law's hairline, Dolores and her friends are walking around nekkid.

Where is she now? Um. Walking around nekkid.
Why is she HS of the Week? Um. Because she walks around nekkid. And because she's a bear named Dolores. Who names a bear Dolores?! While her friends have sexy names like Lolita and Bianca, she has the name Dolores! That's kind of hot.

Below is footage of Dolores....walking around nekkid. Someone should really put black bars over her frozen fuck parts. Privacy please!

Tiffani Thiessen (aka always Kelly Kapowski to me) is going to have one of those baby things with her husband Brady Smith. And guess what? Kelly is so damn happy that she busted out a massive fart of joy which skyrocketed her over Earth's moon. I would expect that kind of talk from Screech, but not our Kelly. She issued this statement to People:

"We are over the moon! It's something we've wanted for a long time and we are thrilled that it's actually happening."

I can forgive and forget if Kelly names her child Zack Attack Jr. But only then!

The Peen Whisperer: This is how JLove's trying to get an Emmy - Popoholic

MiserAlba gets spanked by Casey Affleck, remains miserable while doing so - Egotastic!

The body of Calvin Klein underwear doesn't wear a bra - Hollywood Tuna

Even wolfs could use a little Botox in their pits - Popsugar

James Bond's skinny jeans could be tighter - Lainey Gossip

Mickey Rourke can touch his chin with his middle finger. THE TALENT! (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Sookeh is probably wondering why Stepford Katie's only programmed thought is "Tommy Girl is the sexier than Xenu"- Just Jared

The latest update on Levi Johnston's dick close-up - Towleroad

Shauna Sand in an elegant ensemble that I'm sure the Queen of England will be wearing very soon - Hollywood Rag

Bruce Willis says he won't get the Demi Moore Special anytime soon - ICYDK

Dumb hos are still freaking out over a pretty tame Eva Mendes billboard - Cityrag

Another tape in the "Linday Lohan's Worst Hits" series as provided by Michael Lohan - Celebitchy

Suri Cruise is scared of real-life children - SOW

Here's a gentle reminder that Jay-Z is boning Sasha Fierce - Socialite Life

Robbie Williams will reunite with Take That - Holy Moly!

Janet Jackson and her pocket troll are still together - I'm Not Obsessed

Panty creamer of the second - Popbytes

I know we're in a recession, but DAMN! The Associated Press is reporting that comedian Katt Williams was arrested for breaking into a home in Newnan, GA last night. The homeowner called 911 after they caught Katt snatching a bunch of items from their home. Don't laugh, Nicolas Cage, because this could be you next year!

Katt is still marinating in a jail cell today. He will face a judge later this afternoon.

The police believe that Katt is in Georgia shooting a movie. Katt currently has the #8 comedy DVD in the country

This isn't Katt's first time behind bars. Katt was jailed last year after the police pulled him over for speeding and found three guns in his car. Katt was also put on probation in 2006 after he pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor count of carrying a concealed firearm.

Can you imagine walking into your living room and catching Katt Williams trying to snatch your shit? I wouldn't know whether to hand him my stash out of pity or give him an applause.

Katt's rep would only say that his client has been suffering from "exhaustion." The rep should work on getting Katt a lunch date with Winona Ryder, because those two need to have a conversation!

And I love that Katt is smiling like a first-grader on school picture day in his mug shot above.

Some of you might have already seen this wreck since it's a few weeks old, but I thought you should get re-acquainted with it seeing as though the holiday shopping season is almost upon us. Why bother spending precious time circling the parking lot for an available space when all you have to do is shift your vehicle into 4-wheel drive and drive over any cars in your way. Put that shit in park and you're good to go! You might want to get yourself a little ladder so that you don't scrape your sexiness on the destroyed cars below you. You don't want to do that.

And just so you know, the driver of the BMW was caught just hours after this video went viral. 62-year-old Tripta Kaushal was charged with failing to remain at the scene of the accident. She's due in court on December 1st.

Nobody show this shit to my dumbass cousin who believes that all women, Asian people (including me) and the elderly should never be able to apply for a drivers license. I will beat him with a drumstick at Christmas dinner for you.

via O Hell Nawl

I figured Tommy Girl was into rough nasty shit (i.e. fingering himself in the mirror, watching his own Scientology video on a loop, etc....), but who knew he was capable of beating down disobedient Scientologists (sarcasm = this is it).

Mark "Marty" Rathbun, a former high-ranking Scientologist, claims that Scientology leader David Miscavige regularly beat on the staff when they didn't obey him. Marty tells the NYDN about an incident at Scientology's headquarters in Hemet, CA a couple of years ago.

Before Tommy Girl's arrival at the compound, David Miscavige forced the managers to go through the "Tom Cruise Preparation Arrival Drill." The drill involves the managers polishing his favorite ass beads, making sure his room is fully stocked with hard peen and cueing up the Spice Girls song "Outer Space Girls" for his big entrance. David also asked the managers to take care of 3 insubordinate officials who were being held at Scientology's prisonlike facility called "The Hole."

After the drill was completed, David Miscavige addressed the 80 to 100 managers. David was not happy that they failed to beat the 3 "prisoners." Marty said, “Miscavige berated the managers for being far too light in their demands for confessions, because they refused to beat them ... to pulps. Miscavige said that Tom … had vowed to come to the Hole and personally ‘beat the living (bleep)’ out of Yager, Leserve and Mithoff (the 3 prisoners) if the managers failed to do so themselves. In response, the mob rushed at the three targeted gentlemen. Fists flew and feet kicked into the three. They continued to pound until … each had two black eyes.”

Scientology's official spokescrazy, Tommy Davis, said that the three officials have all provided sworn affidavits stating they were not beat. Tommy also said that Marty was fired from Scientology because they caught him beating other members.

Marty admits to delivering beat downs, but said he was only following orders from David Miscavige.

THE HOLE?! Tommy Girl beating on men?! This sounds like a treatment for the worst gay porn movie ever made. And if Tommy Girl really wanted to torture a bitch, he would just have to beat on his own peen in their presence. MERCY!

All you aspiring supermodels out there should whip out your notepads and carefully study these pictures of Phoebe Price posing for her life at the Farmer's Market in L.A. yesterday. You will be wowed as you watch Chicken Cutlets put the likes of Kate Moss to shame as she poses with everything from a distant relative (above) to a tabloid magazine to a plastic Santa Claus at Rite-Aid. There's not an inanimate object PP can't pose with!

This is seriously like a master class at Barbizon.