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Well, wouldn't you fucking know it. Terrence Howard has a little history of busting a ho's ass. It's not really ass-bursting shocking since Terry was one of the lone whores who came to Chris Brown's defense by initially saying "It's just life!" Bitch later said he was sorry for saying that mess. But yeah, it is just life to Terrence, because he also pulled an Ike Turner on his estranged wife in 2001 in Pennsylvania.

See, this is why you don't say shit, because you know someone is going to go and dig out an old ass mug shot with the story that goes along with that precious picture. Speaking of, doesn't it look like that's a kindergartner-made cardboard keyboard in his mug shot? Anyway, The Smoking Gun has all the details:

According to a Whitemarsh Police Department report, after Howard and Lori McCommas argued on the phone, the actor warned, "Don't disrespect me by hanging up on me or I'll come over and hurt you." McCommas then "hung up and contacted 911 fearing Howard was serious."

While McCommas was speaking with a police dispatcher, Howard "showed up at the victim's residence and began breaking the door down." McCommas ran to the rear of the house and into the backyard. Howard then "broke the front door down and ran through the screen door in the kitchen. Howard then grabbed the victim's left arm and punched her twice with a closed fist in the left side of the face."

The attack was broken up by Howard's brother, who responded to McCommas's house after he "saw Howard storm out of their house to go to the victim's house." When a Whitemarsh cop responded to the scene, Howard admitted, "I broke the door down and hit my wife." A second officer noted there was "fresh damage to the front door and marks on the victim's face and arm from being struck."

Terry was charged with a bunch of shit including simple assault, terroristic threats, harassment and stalking. He pleaded guilty in 2002.

Why do I picture him saying, "Don't disrespect me by hanging up on me or I'll come over and hurt you" while sniffing on a baby wipe? And that shit is serious when he beat down a door and broke through a screen door. A bitch not only needs to keep baby wipes in stock when she's dating Terry, but she's also got to keep alcohol wipes.

And now, the ball is in Roseanne's court. You know she's going to take that ball, roll it in glue, sprinkle broken glass all over it and then chuck that shit at Terry.

RuPaul's Drag Race was an hour of magic last night. I mean, a queen asking Tori Spelling about her HIV? Another queen falling on her face on the runway? Amazing. The only way that could've been better is if Tori Spelling fell on her fugly mug while a bitch was asking her about her HIV.

In the clip above, the draggies competed in a challenge where they had to interview Tori and her creepy-faced husband. Akashia, the cunt of the group, didn't even bother getting the hell up for Tori. That would've been me, but only because if I moved slightly while staring at Tori's vom-inducing face in motion, it would turn into a puke party.

The crowning moment came when Nina Flowers asked Tori to talk about her HIV. I don't know if Tori has HIV, but she definitely has F-U-G. Nina really meant to say "hit TV show" and Dean did kind of rolled with it to make a funny. It must happen often.

The clip below features the all-out frosty elimination fashion show. Seriously, the screen is so fucking frosty during that segment. It's just missing some sprinkles and a fucking cone. It makes me feel like I've gotten lube in my eyes again.

When Bebe Zahara (not related to Brangie) came out, I nearly ran to my kitchen to throw all the meat away, because it looked like the bitch would sniff out blood and hunt it down! I'm scared of her. If Tina Turner's wig and Wendy Williams had a broken condom baby, it would be Bebe in this outfit.

The moment my TV remote suffered through the most was when Akashia tried to be all sexy and slick, but ended up on her padded ass! Rewind. Rewind. Rewind. Bitch tried to play it off, but the damage was already done. Sad. When a drag queen falls, an angel LOSES its wings. And in the end, Akashia fell again. Fell right off that fucking show, because she was eliminated. But something tells me we'll hear from Akashia again. There's a little show called The Really Broke Housewives of Atlanta calling her name. Seriously, bitch looks like she walked right out of that show! She looks more like a real woman than most of those hos on that shit! There's a tightrope....and Akashia needs to be on it.

Earlier, I posted some shit about HoHan saying she just ate a Big Mac when asked about her greasy chicken bone body. Well, HoHan takes her mom's advice. White Oprah talked to Access Hollywood about the subject of her checking account's weight and said, “I’m a mom. If I see my daughter a little thin, I say, ‘Eat more McDonald’s.’”

Okay, are these twats trying to get a deal with McDonald's or something? Because I'm sure there's a McDonald's in Mastic, NY that will let them clean the bathrooms or some shit. They don't need to beg.

No wonder she's knows as the White Oprah, because bitch really is treasure chest of wisdom. She knows what's best for her children. When I was younger and asked my mom for McDonald's, she'd usually say something like, "I'd rather fry up a used roach motel and serve that to you than get you McDonald's." So White Oprah is better at mothering than my own mother. That's why all of White Oprah's children are the epitome of health. They are so lucky.

White Oprah went on to yap more about it, because once you get the whore on the phone, you just can't get her off! “I don’t know why people care about other people’s weight. I think they should look in their own mirror and stare at themselves. I told Lindsay I think she’s a little thin. But we go through this every couple of months. My daughter is happy and healthy and that’s all that really matters.”

I would tell this raggedy ass skeezer of a mother that she's the one who needs to look in the mirror, but that's impossible for her to do! Every mirror in her house is probably lying on a table and covered in cokey dust.

Unfortunately, the peen slip didn't come from The Silver Fox's panties. It came from Zain Verjee and she did it twice! Bitch has got peen on the tongue!

Two things: I'm only flying Northwest and Delta from now and will gladly ask for a jumbo bag of penises. I'll tell them Zain from CNN recommended it. I'm also moving to Georgia, the top penis producing state in the country. They should seriously change their state motto to: All the penises your no-no can eat!

The white zone is for immediate unloading and loading only, it's not for slut canoodling! Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty to need unload nuts on each other or drive the fuck off! Of course, the nobody is bothering their asses!

The last time I picked a bitch up from the airport, I had to wait a quick minute for them to run out to the car from baggage claim. It was like 2 seconds. But of course, some traffic officer had to give me lip about it! Bitch even told me to get out of the car. HELL NO. Ho could've had a taser! I'm not going to knowingly walk into a situation that will most likely involve me getting fucking zapped. That's what would've happened to. He would've said some shit, I would've rolled my eyes and ZAP! Just like I'd have mini pork rinds for ass lips. If only Sienna and Balthazar got their asses tasered. The world is not fair.

And I'm trying to stick by my fellow whore with no morals, but she is making it hard by continuing to suck on that bag of dicks! I mean, can Balthazar's peen deep clean her teeth while she's sucking on it? If it can't, then the dick is not worth it. It's a sad day when a big whore gets dickmatized. Do the dick, don't let the dick do you. Stupid bitch!

Carrie Underwears became Carrie Undertable or Underchairs or whatever she hell she hid under to keep herself off the cameras during a game last night. Underwears is apparently licking on Ottawa Senators player Mike Fisher. He plays hockey, which is my favorite sport because if you switch the o for an i, you get hickey! Or if you switch the ho for di, you get dickey! You get the point.

Anyway, Underwears saw that she was on TV, so bitch got shy and hit her knees like she had a 9" dick covered in Mother's Circus Cookie crumbs in front of her! That's my gut reaction whenever Mah Boo Anderson Cooper pops on the screen. Then I realize he's not really in the room and I just lay on the ground and weep.

Memaw Posh & Pepaw Becks do it better - Towleroad

Brit Brit's dick of an outfit - Popsugar

I know Snoop Dogg likes trick ass whores, but this is ridiculous and fucking hurtful (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Bridget Marqwhatever is getting to old for this lollipop ho shit - Hollywood Rag

Grab titty, get slapped! You learn that shit in pre-school! - Hollywood Tuna

A Pussycat Doll slips 1 out of 8 nips - Egotastic!

Tommy Girl takes a Suri photo-op to a whole new level - Lainey Gossip

Facebook doesn't own you - Just Jared

A box of heaven - Cityrag

Every time Kanye West pops up on my screen, my caps lock key starts tingling. The CAPS King makes its heart flutter just like mine. A Kanye interview is a ride for all the senses. It makes your eyes itch and your ears ring. You also suddenly taste fresh vomit on your tongue and faintly smell the scent of a week-old dirty tampon. And if Kanye is really bringing it on, your fingers will shrivel down into raisins. This Kanye interview with Details is about a Level 8. So brace yourself. Here's some quotes covered in SQUID BRAINS:

Kanye is bored with being the Jesus of music and is ready to become the messiah of fashion:

"Put this in the magazine: There's nothing more to be said about music. I'm the fucking end-all, be-all of music. I know what I'm doing. I did 808s in three weeks. I got it. It's on cruise control. . . . Man, we talked about music for God knows how long! Now let's talk about how my fucking sweater didn't come back right from Korea. That's what's interesting me."

Kanye on being the voice of this generation:

"If not me, then who? Someone could be a better rapper, dance better. But culturally impacting*? When you look back at these four and a half years, who’s the icon at the end of the day? Who broke down color barriers? What other black guy would a white person use as a fashion reference?”

Kaney on "that's so gay" being used as a compliment:

"Titles are very important. I like to embody titles, y'know, or words that have negative connotations, and explain why that's good. Take the word gay—like, in hip-hop, that's a negative thing, right? But in the past two, three years, all the gay people I've encountered have been, like, really, really, extremely dope. Y'know, I haven't, like, gone to a gay bar, nor do I ever plan to. But where I would talk to a gay person—the conversation would be mostly around, like, art or design—it'd be really dope. From a design standpoint, kids'll say, 'Dude, those pants are gay.' But if it's, like, good, good, good fashion-level, design-level stuff, where it's on a higher level than the average commercial design stuff, it's, like, gay people that do that. I think that should be said as a compliment. Like, 'Dude, that's so good it's almost . . . gay.'"

Yup, singy eyes, ringing ears, vom on the tongue, tampon juice on the nose and raisins on the fingers. I take that back that Level 8 shit. This is a Level 10. Kanye leaves my shit *impacted, alright. I always wonder why my body craves prunes after spending some internet time with him. Now, I know why.

P.S. - Does anybody know if Europe's Big Gay Nazi Adventures has a Fast Pass option, because I hate long lines and this sounds like it's going to be pretty fucking popular.

No, this is not the same Open Post host as yesterday. Although, Sugartits Gibson and Alfie's daddy do have the same features. They are not the same bitch. I think.

Anysatanisyodaddy, you might have already cleared out your brain cookies when you read this shit, so let me just refresh your memory. Alfie Patten is the 13-year-old toddler who somehow found a way to make a baby. This is Alfie's father. That is not a mask. Everything makes sense now, right?

Devil Patten wouldn't answer any questions outside of his house, but I just have one for him. Why did he create CROCs and UGGs? Why?! And if Devil Patten ever said he was "over the you know what" about his new grandchild, I'd turn inside out and crawl into the nearest hole.

This is why Solange never gets to leave the basement! When she does she shames the good family name with shit like this! I blurred it out in the header pic above for those of you that work for nipple-haters, but Basement Baby spilled a sandcastle nip at Toni Maticevski's fashion show in NYC yesterday. I mean, Solange finally won a "Get out of the basement" card during a game of "Beyonce, May I?" and this is what she does?! I know they at least have duct tape or Elmer's glue in the basement. She could've fixed that shit before crawling out the window.

Don't blame her nip, though. It never gets oxygen down in her dungeon, so it was just trying to breathe in some fresh air while it can.

And the second thumbnail below has changed my life today. Pat Field's gorgeous eyebrows, basement nip and a ginge?! Perfection.