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Oh, Courtney Love really did try to bring the sexiness at the Elle Style Awards in London tonight, but then she kind of turned around and brought sexy back fat instead. I just want to rush over to her, lift up that skin with my fingers and Gorilla Glue it in place. If that didn't work, I'd just throw a blanket on her and rush her off. That shit just doesn't go with that dress. But I bet that bitch's loose skin fat can whistle a mean "Smells Like Teen Spirit" when Courtney shakes her back.

And it's time for Courtney to go in and get her nostrils lubed up and rotated. They are looking a little wonkafied. It seems that the last doctor done effed her up or maybe she's had too many dicks in there. We're all guilty of the latter. Hey, sometimes the other holes get boring and you just want to smell a bitch cumming.

With all the ugliness in the world today, I thought we'd take a little break to watch foxes on a trampoline. This is seriously the most captivating thing I've seen in 24-hours.

The white-tipped fox is so fucking fascinated by his new discovery. He wants do it again and again. He wants to know why this is happening. He needs answers! The other fox kind of just wants to sniff ass. Isn't that how it always is?

VIA Buzzfeed

KFed and Daddy Spears have both taken out their chewed up Bic pens and signed an agreement which states Brit Brit can take her lil' Frapp dumplings on the road with her. The whole show was in danger of being sent to the graveyard, because Brit Brit refused to do that shit unless her baby friends came along to entertain her. Nobody laughs at her jokes or understands her deep meaningful stories the way they do.

TMZ says everything will go on as previously planned. Daddy Spears will set up hillbilly mansions in New Jersey, Los Angeles and New Orleans. Brit Brit will travel to each joint in between shows. KFed will also get his own house in New Jersey and New Orleans.

So what does greedy ass KFed get out of all of this? He gets $5k a week for doing shit! Basically, he can stay at home, sniff at his skidmarks and ponder why Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes never fully grew.

The new agreement also gives Brit Brit 50/50 custody. Brit will get the kiddies 3 days and nights a week. During certain weeks, she even gets them longer than KFed. That shit will remain in effect after the tour ends.

It's good to be KFed. Renting his kids out has paid off. Shit. For $5k a week, I would use all my powers of imagination to picture Brit Brit as Mah Boo Anderson Cooper so that I could stick it in her possum pie and give her little Cheetolets.

Owen Wilson really needs a bag full of hugs and an ice cream cone with extra sprinkles on top, because it sounds like he hates himself. Why else would he date that wretched hag Kate Hudson again?! Hug a teddy bear, Owen. Don't hug a Hudson!

According to People's people, Kate and her kid spent their entire Sunday at Owen's house in Malibu. A source declared, "They're back together!" The suicide watch starts now.

Kate and Owen first dated in 2006. They have been on-and-off (mostly off) since.

You know, I shouldn't hate on their love, but Kate Hudson is just....UGH. She strikes me as one of those bitches who complains about everything! Bitch probably moans when Owen pees too loud or when he says "Hi" in the wrong tone. Bitches like that make you want to pull out your eyeballs and shove them in your ears, so you don't have to see or hear them any fucking more.

This ten peso question was asked by Ashley on last night's Rock of Love Bang Bus, because she was upset that Bret Michaels hasn't been spending that much time with her (aka he hasn't massaged one of her twatty warts yet). Ashley confronted Kim Zolciak's busted wig twin about it and also dropped a dick in Bret's lap when she told him she thinks Natasha might be a "Nathaniel." What's Sherlock HO's evidence? Natasha only wears tutus to hide her bulge and she also has a voice like Miley Cyrus after giving a blow job to a piece of sandpaper.

Ashley's suspicions crawled up inside Bret's European weave and set up camp, so he just couldn't get it off his mind. He was about to ask Natasha about her big dick, but then a bug on her plastic titty sack distracted him. Yeah, I don't know why it threw him off. Most of those skeezers are covered in bugs anyway.

In the end, Bret just couldn't handle Natasha possibly having a longer peen hole than him, so he dropped the whore.

Okay, Natasha could have very well been born "Nathaniel," but the skank has a snatch now. A little while ago Natasha "performed" as Scarlett Mei Dior (classy!) on a porn site called TugJobs. It's fucking funny, because TugJobs is owned by Bang Bus. Keeping it in the family. Anytranny, I'm not a doctor or a straight dude, so I have no idea if Natasha's pussay was made from peen skin or if it's 100% organic. All I know is that she has one. Click here (NSFL) to feast your eyes on Natasha's studded cooch and to see your busted ass handjob skills.

And by the way, I'm fucking pissed that Bret brought three new whores on the bang bus instead of bringing DJ Lady Tribe back! We need more pussy shots on this slut show!

Birthday: Do beautiful angels have birthdays?
Age: See above.
Birth Name: If you know this info, let a bitch know!

Original Date of HS of the Day: February 6, 2009
Claim to Fame: This. And that's it.

Where is she now? Getting a beach scene painted on her nails or probably dipping herself in Tang. Either or.

Why is he HS of the Week? Because this is what all spokeswhores should look and sound like. Wrigley's and Kellogg's should "cawl" this bitch up. And I'm investigating as to whether or not this hot bitch is in fact Sabrina from MTV's "True Life: I'm Getting Married 1." This has not been confirmed, but I pray it's true!

No, this is not another picture of Vadge from W Magazine. It's Robert Downey Jr. on the set of Sherlock Homey shot by New York Magazine. Basically, we know that the new Sherlock Holmes loves showing off his "Skeletor on roids" body. This much we know.

Even though RDJ looks like a muscled-up Mr. Peanut without his monocle or top hat, I'd still hit that shit. I would bounce on that gristle body until all that was left was a dried up piece of beef jerky. Smack all the juice out! I mean, this is Julian Wells. It's a fucking obligation to sex that shit up if you get the chance.

VIA Towleroad

2009 is all about dumb whores getting dropped from big ad campaigns. That's just what happened to Chris Brown. Well, technically, he got suspended. A spokeswhore for Wrigley's said that because he allegedly broke fits on RiRi, they aren't going to show his Doublemint commercial or any other kind of marketing until the situation is worked out. Somewhere in the world, Jayne and Joan Boyd are waiting for their rotary phones to ring.

You know, companies need to start hiring bitches they know will behave like fine ladies for the rest of their lives. That's why Spaghetti Cat and Stains should be getting more high-profile campaigns. They are both pure creatures. Actually, I shouldn't say that. They both really love food in a weird way, so there might be a "food play" tape starring them floating around out there. I wouldn't be surprised.

Source: UsWeekly

It's the Bride of Vicodin!!! - Lainey Gossip

Dave Grohl loves the gays - Towleroad

A big shiny pile of GOOP - Just Jared

The little girl from The Nanny is all grown up - Egotastic!

Jessica Simpson is looking better (?) - Hollywood Tuna

The dick bags of the Grammys - Popsugar

Speaking of dick bags at the Grammys - Hollywood Rag

Baby tiger alert! - Scandalist

Bruce Willis is cheap - Cityrag

Cover girl Zac and his beard's umbrella party in Brazil (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Usher had to cancel all his Grammy plans and bust on over to Brazil, because his wife Tameka Foster suffered from major complications in surgery. A brain doctor even had to travel from California to South America to tend to her ass. It was reported that Tameka was getting a little face or body work done. The plastic kind. But Usher's spokeswhore issued a statement and called it "routine surgery." The full statement to People said: : "Tameka Raymond is in stable condition after suffering complications from routine surgery in Brazil. Her husband Usher is with her at the hospital. No further details will be released, and the family requests privacy at this difficult time."

Okay, I know in Hollyweird, plastic surgery is routine, but it's not for most of the world, so let's just call it what it is. Homegirl went down there to get tucked on the sly and now everyone knows about it. That's got to be a bitch!