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Paul "PJ" James - This dude is a model turned personal trainer who is gaining the chunk in order to understand his fat ass clients. PJ started at 168lbs and his goal weight is 280lbs. He currently weighs 217lbs. Bitch should've just followed Oprah for a week. He would've hit that goal already.

PJ told the Daily Mail, "I was finding it difficult to relate to my overweight gym members so I have decided to crank up my weight to experience life as an overweight person."

Please, this bitch just wanted to bong it up and eat delicious things. There's nothing wrong with that. And while he's gaining the fat, he should lose that dangling nipple ring. It doesn't go with his new gut.

Carrot Top (44)
Justin Berfield (23)
Lovefoxxx (25)
Kimberly Caldwell (27)
Rashida Jones (33)
Chelsea Handler (34)
Anson Mount (36)
Sean Astin (38)
Daniel Powter (38)
Tea Leoni (43)
Nancy O'Dell (43)
Neil Jordan (59)
Sally Jesse Raphael (74)

Adnan Ghalib, Brit Brit's old Cheetoclit tosser, was charged with three felonies by the L.A. District Attorney for busting his car into a dude who was trying to serve him with legal papers on February 11th in Los Angeles.

TMZ says the process server was trying to deliver some shit to Adnan in connection with the Brit Brit case. Adnan wasn't about to get served, so he allegedly hit the dude with his car and kept on driving. The dude jumped on Adnan's hood so he wouldn't get squished. Server Dude got cut up and broke his wrist.

Adnan is charged with assault deadly weapon, battery, and hit and run. Bail will be set at 110,000 clams. The fucktard could get up to 7 years if he gets the big C on all charges.

Come on, we all know prison is Adnan's fate. Even Brit Brit knew this. That's why she always took him to gas stations so that they could feast on soggy hot dogs and jerky. She was preparing him for chokey food.

And Adnan has got the moobs for prison. He's also got the landing strip too. His prison daddy is going to love that landing strip tickling his nuts while Adnan tongue polishes his pole. Bitch will be a star wifey in the big house.

If you ever find yourself about to have a Natty Ice party in Johnnie Ed Roberts's pick-up truck, make sure you bring a case of Pampers, a roll of Brawny, some baby wipes or at least a Go Girl with you. This bitch is a pisser in every single way.

50-year-old Johnnie Boy was driving down the street in Fort Pierce, FL with a can of the always elegant Natty Ice in his hand and another one on top of his truck when he was pulled over. The fun was killed by THE MAN!

The police were alerted by a 911 caller who witnessed Johnnie's truck doing the mambo all over the road. When the officer strolled up to Johnnie's window, he noticed there was a piss pool in ole' boys' lap. When the officer ordered Johnnie out of the truck, bitch was a stumbling ass drunk. When asked to perform several sobreity tests, Johnnie, responded, “You a motherfucker and ain’t all that.”

And that's the code phrase for a luxurious night in the click! Johnnie was immediately arrested. On the car ride to the jail house, Johnnie got pissed again. Literally. Right there in the car. When they finally got to the station, guess what happened? Johnnie went pee times all over himself yet again. Homeboy is giving Fuggie Fug a run for her money in the Pissy Pants Olympics.

Johnnie was charged with DUI and for saying "fuck no" to a breath test. Because when officers asked him to take blow into a breathalyzer, he sucked instead. That right there, is how it's done. You know, so many drunk whores have blown into that shit that I'm sure there's some booze up in there. Johnnie was sucking it out. Natty Ice makes your brains smart.

Let this be a warning to all you whores who like to enjoy the sophistication of a Naughty Ice while on the run. Bring your Go Girl along, because the piss will be a flowin'. And as my friend Yasmine pointed out, a Go Girl can also double as a portable beer bong! Perfection!

Source: TCPalm (Thanks Nacha)

Lily Allen is part-time banging Tom Dinsdale of Audio Bullys (dude above, duh) and she's pretty proud of his first class peen.

During an interview with Q Magazine (via The Sun), Lily tongued him in front of the interviewer. Later when she was alone with the reporter she said, “The hunk in my kitchen. Well, he’s hot. He’s cute, isn’t he? I had a sleep-over two nights ago and he came along. Quite young, for me. What d’you wanna know? How big his cock is? It’s very nice.”

Lily is practically sending out an invitation to the world to please sample her dude's top shelf dick because it's stellar. When you've got yourself some good dick, you don't broadcast it to every slut out there. There's a lot of peen-hungry vultures who are always on the look out for dick that counts!

Instead, you tell bitches that shit is whacked. You tell them that he's got a 2-inch narcoleptic peen that's covered in hairy warts with urethra lips that rival Lisa Rinna's mouth roids. You don't want whores sniffing at your goods. Damn, Lily. For the sake of your future orgasms, keep that shit to yourself.

Image: Mr. Paparazzi

The only thing CHERYL BURKE should be on the cover of is a barf bag to help you along. Seriously, I was going to have a cup of Dinty Moore for an afternoon snack, but now I don't have to. I just have to swallow the vom coming up my throat.

As you can unfortunately see, my arch rival is on the cover of this week's TV Guide. There's also a typo. It should read "old turd," not "new 'tude."

Inside, CHERYL BURKE once again whines about how she was called a fat fuck by the media. Mop Head blamed her chunkiness on birth control pills, "I decided over the summer to stop taking birth control pills. I did it thinking that I was going to lose more weight for the season. But it actually did the opposite. It made me gain weight."

How she is able to gain weight still boggles my brains. With the gallons of diarrhea that comes spewing out of her mouth, she should be as skinny as Posh Beckam's clit. Mop Head needs to eat a tampon.

And she's got a new man. He's a model. He's 21. He lives in NYC. His name is Maxwell Zagorski. He disgusts me. Humping a raggedy, dirty mop is not right. It's wrong. It's illegal in most states. Mops are for cleaning the bathroom floor, not for cleaning your genitals! SUCIONESS!

Here's a few pictures of Mop Head and her latest victim. For the record, I would not hit anything that has been tainted by CHERYL BURKE. Okay, I would. I really have no shame.

I have finally realized why the judging room on RuPaul's Drag Race looks so frosty! It's because they beam them all up into heaven to shoot this part of the show. It seriously looks like a dream taking place on heaven's clouds. And it pretty much is. My absolute favorite part of the entire show is the catwalk showdown (above). If I could curl up next to that segment forever, I would be happy.

Jenny Shimizu, the trollop who is most famous for slurping up St. Angie's holy juices, was one of the guest judges and she too fell in love with my favorite Bebe Zahara Benet. Bebe makes me want to rob a Zales at gunpoint so I can drape her in fine jewels. If you ever had to run from the police, you'd want that bitch right along side you. Hopefully, in that outfit.

And I'd really wish Shannel would cover up that ass already! Bitch, we get it! You've got an ass that makes the Kardashians fart bubbly tears of jealousy. Now cover it up, put on a pantsuit and go sell some Huggable Hangers on HSN. Seriously, Shannel belongs on HSN. I see two words in her near future: FLEX PAY.

After the catwalk showdown, Ru announced the winner of the challenge. The challenge was to make a MAC Viva Glam commercial. In case you don't know, the proceeds of all Viva Glam products go into an HIV/AIDS fund. Ongina ended up winning the challenge for her "Celebrate Life" campaign. Ongina broke down and started crying. Just when I was about to shout, "Bitch, get it together," she revealed that she's been living with HIV for the past two years. She didn't want to say anything, because her family doesn't even know. Ongina went to say, "You have to celebrate life." And then I was the bitch who needed to get it together. I'll fucking admit it! Clip below:

Color me fucking surprised, Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox's fartytale engagement has come to end. You know, the color "surprised" can be achieved by getting a dick slapping from Brian. So, color me! Color my face! Color it!

Anyway, UsWeekly says that David Silver is now single after 4 years. Some source type said,"The relationship had run its course. It's completely amicable, and they are remaining friends."

Every whore with half a brain cell knew this shit would happen sooner or sooner. There's too many rumors about David being a major assholian. And I pretty much knew their fate when Megan said at the Golden Globes that David didn't want to be her date. It was only a matter of seconds before she woke up from her dickmatized coma.

Besides, the only reason the gods brought them together was so that this image could be captured. Megan can now concentrate on becoming the next Meryl Streep and David Silver can prepare for his inevitable appearance on Confessions of a Teen Idol 2.

And Sienna Miller better have the twatty wart known as Balthazar Getty burned off STAT, because Megan Fox is going to give her some competition as one of the biggest sluts in Hollywood. Sienna has to set up her game. Now that Megan is on the loose, she's going to eff everyone from Mickey Rourke to Mickey Rooney.

This is the closest Hugh Jackman has come to a bare female nipple in a long ass time - Egotastic!

Even Robert Pattinson's sparkliness can't save him from Wonky's infection - Lainey Gossip

Kate Winslet will never let go of her Oscar - Just Jared

David Beckham can't get it up, claims some Chinese company - Towleroad

Katie Holmes: same spent face, different day - Popsugar

Amanda Bynes should cover her face too - Hollywood Tuna

Tinted Windows must be stopped. The world does need another Jonas Brothers - Idolator

Kim Kardassian pretends to work out (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Matthew McConaughey should take some Vaseline from his ass and put it on his toes - Hollywood Rag

Potential bongs are everywhere - Cityrag

When Solange passed the fuck out at LAX last week from too much DRANK, exhaustion or whatever, I prayed to the basement gods (who live on the first floor) that everything was alright. I can breathe now that I've seen this picture from the tragic incident. Basement Baby looks like she's just taking a drunk nap. Or maybe she's just putting her ear to the floor so that the basement voices' can lullaby her to sleep.

This shit also makes me think about how many pictures are out there of me passed out in the middle of the sidewalk, club, church parking lot, park bathroom, bath house, etc. like this. Bitches always got to try and be funny with their camera phones.