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Well, fuck. Natasha Richardson was involved in some fucked up ski accident in Canada. IrishCentral reports that she was taken to a hospital in Montreal and is in critical condition. A source said that Natasha suffered some kind of brain injury. It's not known whether her husband Liam Neeson was with her at the time.

Natasha is supposed to star on Broadway A Little Night Music with her mother Vanessa Redgrave sometime this year. And anybody who saw her in Cabaret knows she's a star at singing, dancing and acting.

Hopefully, if Liam is not with her, he's rushing to her now. His voice can almost soothe anything. But seriously, I hope this isn't as bad as it sounds and she fully recovers in a quick minute. Good thoughts to Natasha and her family.

Specifically, he needs a sponge bath given by me. Don't worry, I'll keep my slimy paws off of him. Besides, I won't need to use my hands. I know how to hold a sponge with my ass lips. It's a trick I learned when I was a Candy Striper.

Anyrollingaroundinanalslime, here are more pictures of the always purdy Zac Efron in Interview Magazine. Zac had to get all dirty with some naked ass model girl in a sandbox. Naked Model Girl even put her nipples on his chest. He probably giggled until his peen hole started whistling.

It's photo shoots like this that bring out the feminist (she smells like patchouli and saw dust) in me. Why in bronzer on the nutsack hell is she naked, but he's fully clothed? Take all them panties off, Zac! Rub those cheeks in the dirt for equality! Get those nalgas looking like Tommy Girl's face after a marathon salad tossing with a bunch of farty Scientologays.

This is the way a high-class pussy merchant should dress! Amber Rose finally stepped off the Fly Girl reject bus and dipped herself in gold digger elegance to attend the Metropolitan Opera's Gala with her main sponsor. The only thing she's missing is more diamonds and a toy Pomeranian. Then the bitch would really be ready for business. Get that cash money, Amber Rose! Break open Kanye's checking account like a MacBook Air!

This is bitch right here is actually a Panty Creamer of Forever and All-Time. This sexy lady has moves that will make men, women, animals and inanimate objects bust nuts (or vom chunks) over and over again.

This is apparently a 55-year-old hot piece of all-natural woman doing the "peen killing" mambo in some booty shaking contest during spring break in Fort Myers, FL. The person who uploaded this shit says that after she brought the funk, she flashed her saggy bags at the audience and tongue kissed a girl. She was later disqualified! Probably because the vibrations from all the throbbing peens caused a small earthquake and safety must come first.

And is it just me or does she kind of look like Phil Spector? Hold my fucking ass, I think THAT IS Phil Spector!

VIA Buzzfeed

Birthday: February 9, 1968
Age: 41 in human years
Birth Name: Alejandra Gabriela Guzmán Pinal

Original Date of HS of the Day: March 11, 2009
Claim to Fame: Alejandra is a really famous rock singer in Mexico. She has been called the Vadge of Mexico because she eats young boys with her cooter. No, because she is always changing herself or something.

Where is she now? Last year, Escandalo TV (amazing) reported that she was in rehab. It was about the same time that her daughter Frida was in a hospital for ODing on drugs and shit. Bitch has never crossed over, but I'm still hopeful. She said she would never "dye her hair" to try be American. Dye it like what? The fucking American flag?

Why is he HS of the Week? Because nobody wears straw like she does. And I'm sure if that if I heard her say "escandalo," my ears would shut down, because nothing else would ever top that.

The theme of the month is: whores having twins! This past weekend, Charlie Sheen welcomed twinsies to the world and now Jenna Jameson has popped out a double in Newport Beach, CA. That's what AVN.com says.

Jenna queefed out her twins sometime this morning. Seriously, she just opened up, let the wind blow and out came the babies. They probably came out swinging on their umbilical cords through her cracked sugar walls. A bright light came shining out of her snatch. It's like when Locke fell down the well on Lost. Only in reverse!

No word on what she named her babehs. I'm going to take a wild guess and say she wrote down Cunnilingus Sixty Nine and Fellatio Money Shot on their birth certificates.

Brit Brit's pussy might need a nip/tuck. It's always hanging out! - Egotastic!

Tom Brady meets the parents - Lainey Gossip

Zac Efron's prettiness causes invalids to walk again - Just Jared

Do they give botox in rehab? - Hollywood Tuna

What you've been waiting for: Russell Simmons' bare ass (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Suri can't see through those bangs....but maybe that's not such a bad thing - Popsugar

Phil Keogham finally takes it off! And I think his junk is frozen - Towleroad

OctoTrash is living the life - Hollywood Rag

Guess the ass crack? - Cityrag

Don Imus has cancer - Gawker

We'll always have Heat Vision and Jack - Best Week Ever

Dlisted won a Bloggie for Best Gossip Blog and lost one for Best Blog. BITCHES! Seriously, thanks to all who voted. Taint rubs on me!

What fart bubbles are blowing out of Fishstick Paltrow's mouth today? Well, Fishy commented on the state of her co-star Joaquin Phoenix. Fishy worked with the king of the hobo rap circuit on his last movie. When asked about his new (and totally fake) career, Fishy told MTV (via People), "I think that there might be some other explanation or something going on. I'm not quite sure what, but I can't believe that he's really going to quit [acting] forever to become a rapper. It seems kind of odd."

Fishy is friends with Jay-Z, so this makes her a professor of hip-hop. That's why it's no wonder that MTV asked her what advice she has for Joaquin, "Hmm ... maybe to go live in the projects for a few years to get some authenticity, maybe."

That is fucking excellent advice Fishy! No wonder you're the master at everything. You know, I think you should escort Joaquin to the projects. While he gets some authenticity, you can get your ass kicked! Maybe that will force the snobbery stick to finally fall out of your ass.

And for those of you that think Fishy was joking, this hag doesn't joke. Just read POOP. It's obvious that shit was created by a goopy bitch who doesn't have any sense of humor or reality.

A statewide warning should have been issued to the entire state of Florida when Brooke Hogan spread her sausage thighs and unleashed her crotch of horror at Calle Ocho in Miami. Luckily, everyone survived. Well, except for that pole. Rest in peace, pole.... It's sad that it's last memories are of Brooke rubbing her 'gina jerky lips all over it.

While Brooke jiggled her pole on the pole, Hulk Hogan jizzed in his pants in the audience. I'm sure he's seen this act a trillion times. Every Christmas, Brooke probably entertains her family with this charming number. Right before they open their presents, Brooke opens her creamed beef box. I can't!

In the third thumbnail below, the dude sitting down says it all.