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The walking and talking Reno, NV ash tray known as Katherine Hagel is speaking out about the rumors that she wants to scoot her ass off of Grey's Anatomy. At the show's 100th episode party last night, Katherine said she'll stay on the show as long as they have her, ''I'm there if Izzie remains part of Grey's Anatomy." Shonda Rhimes, that's your cue to let go off the rope and cackle as the ax falls on that bitch!

Katherine also told The New York Times that making millions of dollars stinking up movie sets during her Grey's hiatus is fucking exhausting, but she's willing to do it. The hag said, ''I'm more than happy to make that compromise. As my agent likes to say, 'High-class problems. I don't know if I want to continue for five years working 12 months a year, but I can take at least another year or two."

If Hagel pulled her ugly head out of her asshole long enough to have a conversation with a real person she would find out that working 12 months out of the year is called a fucking JOB! Imagine that! The poor little hag! Being forced to work 12 months out of the year is so hard, but having to look at her annoying face 12 months out of the year is even worse!

John Mayer kicked off his annual Mayercraft Cruise in Long Beach, CA yesterday looking like he wandered in from the set of a 70s fuck flick called The Love Motorboat. John's pussy does look tight, though. However, those shorty shorts are making his thighs look wonky as all fuck! It's the way he's standing, but one looks way bigger than the other. It's like the douchefat from one of his thighs tried to escape and ended up getting stuck in the other. I have to go look in a mirror to make sure my thighs don't do this, because you know how I like to work the nut cutters in the summertimes.

I'm sure this just one of many LOOKATMEMEMEME costumes John will wear while on the Tampon of the Sea's 4-day cruise to Mehico. I also hope that for John's sake they have a Twitterdiction support group on the motherfucking boat, because he will have to go hours without dropping his caca nuggets on the internet. Although, John totally shrugs off his obsession.

John recently told E! News that he's just going through a phase, "It’s inherently silly and it’s inherently dumb. If you really think that Twitter is the pathway to spiritual enlightenment, well...It’s one step away from sending pictures of your poop. I don't have a devotion to Twitter. I didn't sell out to Twitter. You do Twitter until everybody gets off of Twitter and it's something else you go and try out."

I think one of those quotes got twisted in the wash, because what he really said was that he totally gets off on Twitter. He loves to have unprotected, dirty, nasty sex with his Twitter. Also, the whores that would think Twitter is the "pathway to spiritual enlightenment" don't exist, because they spend hours trying to figure out how to turn on their computer before they finally fuck it off and go play with a leaf instead.

And John is also wrong about the poop comment. I've been posting shit on the internet long before I twittered.

If you're on a diet, fuck it off and stick your face in bowl of fried lard. If for some fucked up reason you have declared celibacy, go rub and wet hump the first hot piece you see. If there's a whore out there that doesn't know how much you hate them, immediately knee them in the butt bone and destroy them with the cunt word. Because the end is near. The sky is about to turn black and the earth will implode, because Kanye West, the Overlord of the CAPS-LOCK key, stopped using CAPS. Baby Jesus, hold me in your arms and dry my tears with your breath. I'm scared.

Kanye took to his blog yesterday and his precious pinky didn't hit the CAPS-LOCK key. In fact, he correctly used CAPS in the entire post. It took me ten beats to even read this mess. Even my own CAPS-LOCK key looks a little sadder today, because Kanye has abandoned it. However, it doesn't look like he's abandoned the DOUCHE-LOCK key, because he's still spreading the foolery. CAPS-LOCK key or not.

Kanye is whimpering and bitching about a blogger who questioned his manhood after suggesting he might be faking the straight. Oh, Kanye, stick your manhood up your culo and give it a rest. The world at large knows who your true, true love is. It's yourself!

Bitch isn't heterosexual or homosexual. He's fucking Kanyesexual. Being a Grade A Dickbag: Kanye is doing it right!

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