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Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have decided to stop sucking on each other's genitals, because their shit is done. That's what UsWeekly claims anyway. A source said that the on-and-off hobags are off again.

The source said, “Sarah initiated the split this time. He's bummed. He's really blue -- very down. Seems like it's over for good this time. He's sad because he just bought a new place and now has nobody to share it with."

The two started dating about six years ago, they broke up last July and got back together a few months later.

Celebwhores are just like us! They get into huge fights and then say shit like, "It's over! The next time I see your fugly ass face, I hope it's your funeral! I'll be the one fluttering around like the funeral fairy while singing an a capella version of Celebration." Then a few hours later, they're sucking on his peen in between discussing the names of their future babehs. You know how it is.

I'm sure that by the time I hit "publish," Sarah will be motorboating Jimmy's voluptuous tittays again.

File this under: So easy even a child can play! Seriously, Sienna Miller said she was kicked in the face by a horse. This should be a board game the whole family can play together! Your key words are: Sienna Miller, vagina (the two go hand in hand), horse, kick and face. The jokes are just lying down, waiting for you to pick 'em up.

Anythisbitchtriedtoblowthehorse, Sienna was on the Tonight Show and told the story to Jay Leno. Sienna said, "I’ve had some accidents. I got kicked in the face by a horse. Only I would be kicked in the face by a horse. People always think it’s lipstick, especially make-up artists. Maybe they’ve covered it up. I’m hoping you can’t see it. Make-up artists come and try and rub it off and there’s always an awkward moment."

Whore, please. They don't think it's lipstick. They think it's a rogue Dirty Sanchez stain. You know, Sienna showed the scar, but I held up a magnifying glass to it and didn't see shit!

Can we get a rematch between Sienna and the world's favorite horsey? If the horsey isn't with us anymore, Pony Parker can fill in. Bitch has got some new hooves she can't wait to try them out.

Source

If one look could cut a bitch up, the whores in the crowd near Zahara are probably in need of some major medical assistance. What's the number to 911?! Don't even think of staring at her. Keep your eyes down and move the fuck along or it's going to go down.

Zahara is even killing me with her eyes through those sunglasses that probably cost more than two months of my rent. One look from Z could turn Ty Ty Banks' smilin' eyes into two quivering balls of fear. She is not the one.

Here's Billy Goat Pitt with Zahara and Shiloh doing their part to save the economy by buying some toys and shit in DC yesterday.

During the reunion of The Really Plastic Hos of Orange Skin County, Gretchen denied away that she was licking on her ex-boyfriend Jay before, during or after her sugar pepaw went off to the great beyond. This shit prompted Holy Tamra to give the quote of the hour: "It's about moral character." You can seriously use that line for anything. When a dude insists you suck his peen in a back alley way, but you want to go back to the car, just use that line and he might understand. Or when a bartender cuts you off because you barfed on the counter, you can use that line too. It doesn't really make sense, but it didn't when Tamra used it either.

So, when the gold digger with no morals denied she had a boyfriend, she might have been lie-telling. No surprise there. Radar got a hold of a 911 tape taken only a few days before the reunion. In the tape, Jay claims Gretchen tried to off herself by overdosing on Lunesta. Yeah, Lunesta! Who tries to quit this bitch from a Lunesta OD? I checked to see if this was some kind of viral marketing campaign and it's not.

A few minutes into the call, Gretchen grabs the phone from Jay and says she didn't try to commit sooey-sides (that's what my abuelita calls it). But she does call Jay her booooooyfriend. Gretchen said the two had a fight at the bar, she came home, he followed her and tried to break in. Visit Radar to listen to the whole thing. It's long, but I'm sure Tamra has the entire thing as her ring tone. And I hope she will hold a live press conference along with her rapey-eyed son to discuss Gretchen's moral character.

Also on the tape, Gretchen's phone number and home address are given out. Drive your Rabbit convertible up to the front to pick me up, because we're going to go TP that skank's house! Teeepeee party!

Mia Korf - The ORIGINAL gold digging Blair Cramer on One Life to Live! Mia was only on the show for two years and left to pursue a career on the Broadway stage. They replaced her with a white chick! Asian Blair forever! Below is a clip of a pivotal scene where she has to choose between the man she loves or money:

Iris Chacón (59)
Laura Prepon (29)
Jenna Fischr (35)
Peter Sarsgaard (38)
Rachel Weisz (38)
Matthew Vaughn (38)
Cameron Daddo (44)
Wanda Sykes (46)
Bret Easton Ellis (45)
Taylor Dane (47)
Donna Murphy (50)
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