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Who is the biggest queef in this picture? I really can't decide. The only thing missing is the smoke monster from Lost directly behind them ready to pounce. And by the look on Spencer Twatt's face, his yes-yes is getting a visit from a fisty friend. Blago is guilty as charged!

This is a promo picture for NBC's reality shit show I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!. Yes, this is a picture released by the network in order to get you to watch these people on your television. This picture is about as enticing as....well....as a reality show starring these three completely full barf bags.

NBC announced 7 of the 10 "celebrities(???)" that will tossed in the middle of a jungle in Costa Rica. So far, the cast includes Twit, Twat, Janice Dickinson, Sanjaya, Stephen Baldwin, John Salley and Torrie Wilson. Basically, the "who's who WHO no really WHO?!" of Hollywood. Blago was supposed to be a part of the cast, but a judge ixnayed that plan. NBC says they will use Blago in some way even though he can't go to Costa Rica. Hopefully, they are saving him for the spin-off, "Somali Pirate Master."

Here's some pictures from today's press conference about this mess. When Janice D is the most famous person in a show, you know there's a problem.

Maru, the pussy boxer from Japan, is back in a big way! Wait. Pussy boxing is what HoHan and SamRo used to play on Saturday nights, right? Sorry sorry sorry! There I go turning something sweet and innocent into X-rated filth again! Take a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to your head and watch Maru put his cardboard box fetish to work.

Maru takes a while to warm up, but he really gets into it after about a minute. Then it's like fireworks! Maru shows that box what's what! Maru really needs to come to America to teach the cats here how to pussy box. It can become a sport!

VIA Best Week Ever

Little Miley Cyrus is sick of playing with grown ass men who actually have pubic hair in their private areas, so now she's ready to shuffle back into the romper room where her ex-whatever Nick Jonas is waiting to let her play with his purity ring. That's what a source tells Gatecrasher.

The rumor going around the cafeteria is that 16-year-old Miley wants to break up with her 20-year-old boyfriend of 8-months, Justin Gaston, so she can go around with her ex Nick Jonas. Miley hasn't broken up with Gaston, but that hasn't stopped her from going to first-and-a-half base with Nick. A source said, “Miley was over at the Jonas house recently, and they were smooching. Nick’s parents have this rule that when a girl is over, the door has to be open, but that didn’t stop Nick and Miley from making out.”

The source forgot something. Not only does the door have to be open, but they both have to be wearing condoms (under their clothes, thank you very much) and holding a bible in one hand.

Miley knows that she totally needs to be with Nick, like totally, but the problem is that she's not sure how to break up with that old dude. The source went on to say, "She doesn’t know how to tell Justin that they’re over, but Nick is being very firm with her. He’s a good, stand-up kind of guy, and is making Miley tell Justin very, very soon. He’s being tough about it.”

Oh, Miley, I know it's hard. But all you have to do is get our your cutest Post-Its and your most adorable pen. Then write this note to Gaston: "Deer JG, itz totes over. I luvz NJ again. Letz be friendz. TTYL. Have an awsome summer. I LUV JESUS! Heartz, Miley." If you lay it on him deep like that, he'll totally understand.

This A list movie actor who was also a star on television has a scene in a recent movie where he strips down to his underwear. Because of the lighting no one noticed anything amiss. It was only when the movie was being edited that his penile piercing was noticed through the underwear. A large piercing that had to be digitally removed. (CDAN)

That's Prince Albert above and this blind item is obviously dedicated to his kinky ass. I have no idea with this one. I thought of Ashton Kutcher, but that dick bag isn't exactly A list. Other guesses include Woody Harrleson, Johnny Depp or Jamie Foxx?

Which closeted — and married — actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff. (Gatecrasher)

Pass me the bag that says "down low peen lovers" and let's reach inside. This could be John Travolta? Tommy Girl? Will Smith? Hugh Jackman? Etc....

Which young, up-and-coming and freshly engaged Hollywood couple are already arguing - over the terms of the contract they both signed to stay together for at least one year while rumors around his sex life die down, and while her management try just one more time to get her established as a movie rather than a TV actress? (Popbitch)

That chick from The OC and that dude who ruined Darth Vadar?

Tonya Harding or Liev Schreiber in drag? - Towleroad

Audrina Patridge's acting skills are as dead as her eyeballs - Egotastic!

Frankentummy emerges - Popsugar

Chevy Chase molesting a chipmunk - Hollywood Tuna

A grown ass man begging and crying for a little sprinkle of douchewater (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Chuck Bass returns to his native land, remains a sexy ass piece while doing so - Lainey Gossip

Anna Faris wearing OshKosh B'Gosh's finest - Hollywood Rag

Beth Ditto the doll looks like she needs a nap - Idolator

Joel Madden's new bleached hair really brings out the bull dyke in his face - Just Jared

This is not Photoshopped - Cityrag

Do you remember Sheyla Hershey? She was the gorgeous natural beauty who always dreamed of having chichis each the size of a bloated sumo wrestler who hasn't went poopy in weeks? Sheyla wanted to have MMM implants put in, but nobody would do it in the U.S, because it will kill you. So she rolled the life dice and had those suckers installed in Brazil. Sheyla lived to the tale! Although, she almost died a couple of times, because her Goodyear titty balls crushed her lungs.

Well, Sheyla is back where she belongs, in the spotlight! She was on The Insider last night and she's 7-months pregnant! Once again, Sheyla might die. You see, Sheyla has heart problems which really isn't shocking seeing as though she has an entire class of fat kids sitting on her heart. Per doctor's orders, Sheyla had her MMMs taken out while she's pregnant. She plans to have them put back in after she gives birth.

But wait, there's more! Sheyla had a tummy tuck before she got knocked up, so her baby girl is all smooshed in there which could cause complications later. Sheyla is basically going to give birth to a pancake.

Let me ask a question. Is having a pair of magnificent chichis really worth all of this pain and suffering? DUHHH!!!!

...and Obsessed is a crusty piece of weave glue off of Beyonce's head! Beyonce's soon-to-be multiple Razzie winning caca EXTRAVAGANZ-AAAAAA opens in theaters today. The movie wasn't screened for critics, so reviews have barely started trickling in this morning and the consensus is that you should spend your $10 on more important things like four VIP front-row tickets (with backstage passes and open baked potato bar) to Solange's concert in the basement or a Chia Pet.

Every review I've read so far has basically called it a wart on the ass of Basic Instinct 2 and this is exactly why I will probably be the only person in this country to pay actual cash money for this trash. And Papa Knowles using his Gold AMEX to buy thousands of movie tickets doesn't count!

Here's Beyonce at premiere in NYC last night. Beyonce is wearing House of Derrier's 80s catch-all dress! It can take you from prom to wedding to funeral. It's the only dress you'll ever need......if you lived and died in the mid-80s.

The biggest famesluts who ever roamed this earth are getting married this weekend WITHOUT securing the exclusive picture rights with a celebrity weekly. If Twit and Twat do ANYTHING and a tabloid isn't there to capture the queef-inducing moment, did it really happen? Shallow thoughts.

MSNBC's The Scoop says that UsWeekly, People, InTouch, Life & Style, the Summer's Eve marketing department and Horse & Hound all refused to pay the amount these two fart bubbles wanted. The only magazine that offered up anything was OK!, but Heidi and Spencer turned that deal down. Instead, they are going to get a photo agency to take all the pictures which they will sell to all the weeklies. A source said, “They’d rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life & Style than be on the cover of a magazine like OK! that isn’t going to sell. They need to make money, and so does the magazine. The formula is changing."

If anybody pays more than a crotch nugget for this puketorial, then they paid too much! Besides, this wedding is going to be as real as the first one. The last time I checked, a peroxide-eating dildo and a special needs dwarf pony couldn't legally get married in California.

And if anybody has Mother Nature's weekend phone number, please call her up and let that bitch know we're going to need an F5 tornado to crash that party.

Back in the day when caveman roamed the Earth, Larry King could change his own diaper and the internet was still a toddler, there was a thing called GeoCities. GeoCities was a place where everyone could go and build their own website in a quick minute for free. Actually, it probably took a few hours, because of that dial-up crap. Well, GeoCities is now dead. A truly sad day on the world wide webs.

GeoCities took my webmaster cherry and turned me into the full-blown webmaster WOMAN I am today. Sadly, I couldn't find my old site and don't even remember what it was about. I didn't cuddle with it as much as I should have, because I spent most of my time doing ho shit in AOL chat rooms. Memories.

Yahoo! announced that they will be closing GeoCities at the end of the year leaving millions without an internet home! So you better get your fix of Karyn White, Jeremy Jordan and Tony! Toni! Tone! fansites before they go away forever!

You will be missed GeoCities!

VIA Gizmodo

Kate Moss woke up at 6pm the other day and thought to herself, "Tonight, I want to look like the lounge singer love child of an episode of Star Trek from the 80s and the movie Xanadu as seen through the eyes of Sasha Fierce." Balmain granted Kate's wish and she thanked them by ripping that shit up at 4am after a night of saucing and snorting. Although, maybe Kate's drunktardian ways had nothing to do with her wrecking that dress. I mean, she was in the company of an extral-large vanillasicle milkshake. David Walliams' hotness will make any ho split their pants, panties, dress and ass. Bitch can give you an extra ass crack!

Look at the last thumbnail below. David caught a glimpse of his sexiness in the rear-view mirror which caused him to jizz his own pants. Even he is not safe.