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The photo that was felt around the world might get the case against Chris Brown completely dismissed. Chris' lawyer, Mark Geragos, blabbed this morning outside of the courthouse that if the beat down photo of Alien Princess RiRi was leaked by someone from inside the LAPD, he will ask that the entire case be put down.

There's currently an investigation going down as to how TMZ got a hold of the picture. Today in court, Mark asked that the preliminary hearing date be pushed back to give more time for the investigation. Mark said, "The leaks can form the basis for a motion to dismiss the case in regards to outrageous governmental misconduct." The new hearing was set for May 28th. Mark is expected to file a motion regarding the photo before then. There's also a chance that there may not even be a hearing if Chris' lawyer is able to strike up a deal with the prosecution before then.

I'm not a lawyer like Star Jones, but I'm guessing Mark Geragos is going to yammer on to the court about how the beat down photo has already made him look guilty to possible jurors....blah...blah...

That's my guess anyway. It's not like this is going to go trial. Chris will strike a deal, they will slightly tap him on the hand and tell him not to do it again. Then he'll go to anger management where he will have talk about why he's so angry and that will be that. At least that's what watching a few episodes of Law & Order tells me.

Why can't a lucite and crystal Pegasus swoop down from the sky and carry The Empress of Lucite off to a sparkly lucite kingdom in the sky where she will be safe from that beauty-hating monster who is always attacking her pristine face?

Earlier this month, Shauna Sand's husband, Romain Chavent, was arrested after he choked her fragile neck with his beastly hands! Shauna got away from him, but not for long. TMZ says that Romain recently bit her naturally luscious lips so hard that she popped and deflated. Shauna finally got a restraining order against him. TMZ says that in the papers The Empress of Lucite states that Romain "bit my lips as hard as he could, holding me down for 10 seconds, causing severe bleeding and cuts to my lips. He then spit the blood and skin back at me." Romain then held her down "suffocating me with his hands over my nose and mouth for 20 minutes."

How is Romain not marinating on death row?! A crime against Shauna is a crime against us all!

The Empress of Lucite should really go back to Lorenzo Lamas. He treated her like the beautiful lucite flower she is. They were the romance of their time! The stars and the moon aligned when they were in love. If they reunited, wars would end, children would stop crying and the world would be a wonderful place again.

I know you're wondering to yourself how it's possible for the rain to fall on Willy Pitt's head since the heavens always open up and the sun's rays follow him wherever he goes. Brad was shooting a Japanese commercial in NYC and I guess they needed it to rain, so St. Angie probably put in a call to God. She asked him to tell the sun to quit that shit for a while, so Brad can make some money, because baby friends don't come cheap.

And I bet that when St. Angie visited the set, she mistook the sumo wrestler for an overgrown orphan baby and adopted him on the spot. So if you see Brad Pitt carrying around this sumo wrestler on his hip, you know the backstory.

This over-30 actress is not known for having the greatest taste in men. Well, it turns out that her taste in home décor is even worse. Although she is working with professional interior design folks, she keeps derailing the agreed-upon plan by insisting that they incorporate some of her really ugly personal items. The decorators are grumbling behind the scenes that the actress has the taste of a ten year old, and “we wouldn’t be surprised if she asks for a Hello Kitty kitchen”. Just proves that money can’t buy you taste. (Blind Gossip)

This isn't Mimi, because I'm sure she already has a Hello Kitty kitchen. Mimi has a Hello Kitty LIFE. My guess is Jennifer Aniston? "Derailing" gave it away.

Which A-list actor's wife belongs to a secret lesbians-only club in L.A.? To keep things discreet, the club staggers arrivals so its members aren't photographed together. (Gatecrasher)

Secret lesbian club? Isn't that called The Physical Education Teachers Association? Anyway, Jada sounds like the obvious answer, but I'm going to switch it up and go with Mrs. Hugh Jackman?

This very funny C+ television actor with B list name recognition on a very hit ensemble television show was recently pulled over by the police. Our actor had a bit too much to drink and was probably going to get arrested for a DUI. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he offered the policemen their choice of the three women he had just picked up at a club and was taking back to his hotel room. Remarkably both the officers and the two women chosen agreed. The policemen made one of the women drive, followed the actor to his hotel and spent about an hour in his suite before heading back out on patrol. (CDAN)

Cookie Monster? Or Jeremy Piven? Or Charlie Sheen? Or Jason Segel?

Tupac faked his death so he could party with a bunch of d-bags in New Orleans. Are they sure that's not Montell Williams? - TMZ

Twilight with cheeseburgers - Towleroad

Sasha Grey's exquisite eyebrows should win an Oscar - Hollywood Tuna

Zac Efron sweeps away his mop to showcase his purdy princess face - Just Jared

SamRo spins for a bunch of sour pussies. Dream gig? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

This is art: Amber Heard in a threesome scene with two dudes - Egotastic!

Who pooed in the pool? - Cityrag

Game over for Osama Lutfi - Celebitchy

Hugh and Halle together again - Lainey Gossip

Charlie Sheen's twins: NO COMMENT - ICYDK

Jewel calls out Melissa Rycroft - SOW

Skanky slapper - Hollywood Rag

More proof that Hugh Hefner has gone FULL senile - I'm Not Obsessed

This remix of the "Slap Chop" commercial proves that Vince ShamWow is the future of dance music. When you're shaking your snatch at the club this weekend, you better request this shit. Get it to #1!

Last night's American Idol was like the longest elevator ride ever. An elevator ride that just doesn't end. Although, some of the performances didn't have me staring at the emergency button just aching to yank it. But most of them did. I knew this wasn't going to be a fun time party hour when Jamie Foxx was revealed as the super secret mystery mentor. Jamie Foxx and The Rat Pack go together like Gaycrest and vaginas.

Jamie as their mentor was sometimes funny, sometimes helpful, but overall he was creepy as a Papa Joe. I wanted to scream at the contestants, "If he offers you a white wine spritzers, don't drink it! You'll wake up with a bleeding ass in the bath tub of a Super 8!" Yes, I'm speaking from experience. Now on to the butchery! JUMP!!

People Magazine's annual 100 Most Beautiful issue is out and they got it all wrong! That picture of Bea Arthur should be the entire cover. Actually, Bea should be on every single page, including the back. Okay, maybe not every single page. They could've devoted one page to Salma Hayek's magnificent married chichis, but the rest should've been Bea. They also should have temporarily changed the name of the magazine to BEAPLE.

Instead of doing that, People put Kelly Bundy on the cover which really doesn't bother me, but the rest of the 100 does. The list includes: Halle Berry (BORING), Carrie Underwears (BORINGER), Angelina Jolie (BORINGEST), Melissa Rycroft (BORINGESTER) and JLo (Are you asleep yet?). Seriously, that is like a big bowl of salad without the dressing or croutons. Or even Bac-Os. If they weren't going to devote their lives to Bea this week, they should've at least filled the magazine with the truly most beautiful people in the world.

I mean, no Empress of Lucite, no Chicken Cutlets (and she really needs this right now), no Carrot Top, no Prince Hot Ginge, no Mah Boo and no Harvey Price?! How can you devote an entire magazine to beauty without any them in it? It's criminal and it's full of lies!

IN THIS ECONOMY, Hollywood should not be making a sequel to Wall Street 2. If we wanted to see some depressing tale about how we're all going to be shanking each other for a place in the bread line next year, we'll save our pennies and turn on the TV instead. Not using their brains: Hollywood is doing right.

Both Michael Douglas and Oliver Stone will be back for the sequel. Shila LaDouche has also been signed on to play a young trader. Gregg Brilliant, a spokeswhore for 20th Century Fox said, "We need to keep the story line under wraps, but it's literally ripped from today's headlines. It's going to be very big and very cool."

Fuck Wall Street 2! I want to see a movie about Fox spokeswhore Gregg Brilliant. You know he has stories to tell. With a name like that he must be a superhero on the down low. Or an infomercial salesman on the down low. Or a toothpaste fetishist on the down low. Something on the down low!

Besides, shouldn't Gordon Gekko be sipping cold Ovaltine in the cafeteria of some retirement home in Boca by now? Bitch is too old to deal with this recession shit.

VIA HuffPo

Albert Finney can take off the wig, because the role of Susan Boyle in the movie version of her life is close to being snatched up by none-other-than Catherine Zeta-Jones! That's what the Daily Mail claims anyway. They say that CZJ is trying to buy the rights to Susan's life story. The Daily Mail could've made that all up just so they could create this work of high-art that belongs in the museum of non-stop laughs.

CZJ should give Michael Douglas an extra kiss on his prune lips tonight, because if it wasn't for him this is exactly what she would look like today without all that money. This was your future, CZJ!