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Whose dreams have been crushed, killed and buried tonight? Find out after the jump. JUMP!!!

No, this isn't the hag at the DMV who smacked her lips at you when you didn't bring in your social security card AND birth certificate. It's Mimi! Mimi! You know, Mariah Carey. YES! I know you didn't recognize the Rainbow Butterfly Princess without her glitter domes out, but it really is her. Mimi washed away all the Hello Kitty-ness to play a period-faced guidance counselor in Precious. Mimi has come along way since her Glitter days.....

The movie also stars my favorite comic of all-time & forever Mo'Nique, Lenny Kravitz, Sherri Shepherd (ugh) and newcomer Gabby Sidibe. The trailer is below. Really, that's Mimi. If you don't believe me, release a butterfly in the room and it will immediately flutter to her when she pops up on the screen.

Brought to you by popular demand! Shanna Moakler is no longer Miss California's main pimp! Shanna freed herself from Donald Trump's chains this afternoon. I bet she's regretting that decision after she found out Craigslist got rid of their "Erotic Services" category. DAMN! Well, fuckit. Shanna doesn't need those gutter hos. This is the statement she released to UsWeekly:

"Since the press conference yesterday, I had a chance to think about what has taken place, and I feel that at this time it is in my best interest to resign from the Miss California USA organization.

I cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth. I want to be a role model for young women with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams."

You know the world is a strange place when Shanna Moakler sounds like the voice of reason.

I hope this is finally it! I am so sick of seeing Donald Trump's smug face and Miss Tits4Jesus on my TV screen. Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!

Which Sexiest Man Alive got double-teamed by a porn star and a dominatrix? Back in 2004, a dominatrix at New York club enlisted the porn star’s help in humiliating her mostly-straight client…who was kneeling down on the floor naked. The porn star recognized him immediately: “He had a muscular build and looked quite young… The dude peers up at me from the mat. I more than recognize the dude. I had seen him in countless big screen movies over the last few years. (He was also in People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive Issue 2003. Not the cover model, though). Jesus loves me! I can’t believe I get to fuck this guy. What the fuck?! I can’t believe this guy is into such a heavy scene! The second my dick enters him, he arches his back and he starts singing at the top of his lungs, “Onward Christian Soldier”. (The Sword via Blind Gossip)

This. Can't. Be. Real. Onward Christian Soldier? That is a boner breaker of a song if I ever heard one. So....after looking at who made People's list in 2003, I've narrowed down my guesses to Hugh Jackman, Hugh Grant, George Clooney and Ricky Martin? But my official guess is Hugh Jackmeoff!

This rockin’ young couple’s marriage is in big trouble but not for the obvious reasons. The cute wife has been seen out and about with a Hollywood hipster and her husband is looking to beat the guy up. Actually the hipster is NOT fooling around with the wife - he’s just providing drugs and fun. In reality the wife is secretly cheating with someone else- specifically her lookalike female assistant! She recently decided she’s bisexual. (Janet Charlton via Blind Gossip)

Miss Punk Rock Maple Syrup herself, Avril Lavigne?

Which quietly gay young actor referred to in a previous item has started hanging out with a drag queen crowd? Methinks the closet door is cracking open. (StyleList)

DanRad?! Be right back, I have to go work on my drag queen game to woo Hairy Potter's peen!

It looks like some of us will have to start selling that ass the old-fashioned way, because Craigslist is shutting down their "Erotic Services" section. Windex your lucite heels, because it's back to the ho stroll we go! Save us a cushy place near the back alley dumpster. Sigh.

Craigslist made the announcement today after several state attorney generals were about to file criminal charges against them for allowing whores to peddle their wares on the site. The category will remain for 7 days, but they aren't accept any new ads. Instead, they have created the "Adult Services" category for legal vendors. Craigslist will review each ad before approving to make sure any illegal ho stuff doesn't pass.

I understand why they are doing this, but the "Erotic Services" section had some of the best ads! I would laugh and get turned on at the same time. Although, maybe this is good news. I haven't seen a raggedy, low-down dirty hookah walking the streets in a while. I blame Craigslist for this. So now that Craigslist will no longer tolerate ass vendors on the site, maybe we'll see more elegant prostitutes stumbling along the sidewalk at 2 in the morn.

Source: The Washington Post

Panty creamer of the day: Jason Stackhouse from True Blood - Towleroad

Topless merbeast - Hollywood Tuna

HER AGAIN: Megan Fox says she's bisexual - Egotastic!

Purdy Zac Efron is big in Japan - Popsugar

Snoop Dogg is the kind of friend every stoner needs - Hollywood Rag

Manhole blows (Tommy Girl not involved) - Cityrag

Dear Vanessa Hudgens, we've already seen it - Popoholic

A crazed cockatoo (more like cacatoo) and her grey fox stroll through the airport - Just Jared

Jennifer Aniston has been replaced AGAIN - Lainey Gossip

Eminem went pee pee on MiMi (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

SANTO DIOS! My soul spit up rainbows when my eyes came upon this precious picture of Kim Zolciak and a top-shelf glittery beauty who put the AY! in gay. This picture must be God's screensaver, because it's that special! I mean, his glambrows and her beastly wig really do belong together. You can tell Kim is even feeling the heat radiating off of that exquisite creature. She's giving a look like her ass is about to fall off her body! Miss Girl with the brows has that effect. I'm going to swooooon for days.

In all seriousness, Kim's wig is looking a little bit less barkalicious. She must have given it some kibble and love, because it's looking healthier.

Kim and this creature of my dreams came together last night at the runway show for ShebySheree (pronounced HEbyHEREE, because the S is silent). Yes, Sheree from The Real Housewives of Atlanta finally pulled together enough discarded napkins, discount jeans from the swap meet and pubic hair for a runway show for her clothing line. You can find HebyHeree in a discount bin at Ross Dress for Less near you!

Here's more pictures from last night including the night's guest of honor as Cinderfella in her coach. Thankfully, Dwight and the new rhinestone of my life didn't get a picture together. That shit would have made my nipples get up and go!

Also, visit Talking with Tami for a million more pictures.