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Lisa Rinna says she has never talked about why her lips look like a dog's caca-filled anal glands that's about to pop. On Today with Kathie Lee and Hoda this morning, Lisa said that after watching Barbara Hershey in Beaches 23 years ago, she was inspired to get fake titty jelly injected into her lip. And the rest is roid history....

Lisa said, "This is the first time I have told what I have done to my lips. I had silicone put in my top lip not the bottom lip. I was gullible enough to go and do it."

Once the silicone hardened, Lisa said she got cortisone injections. Lisa said she has no regrets, because her lips "made me who I am." That's true. They make her look like the big asshole she is, so that's kind of beautifully poignant.

And you know this ho is sticking a needle filled with veggie oil into her lips on the daily. I'm waiting for the day they finally combust and her mouth will look like an open-faced Philly cheesesteak. And not the delicious-looking kind either.

VIA People

It's okay if you suddenly have the urge to make love to bowl of egg drop soup. Don't fight it, go with it!

International supermodel and Cannes' sweetheart, Phoebe Price, made mortals collapse when she hit the red carpet with her chicken dumpling peeping out. Seriously, every bitch on the carpet hiked up their dresses and took the bus home! They knew they could never make loins burst the way Chicken Cutlets can. A bird even accidentally crashed into her head, because it was so transfixed with her graceful glamour. It's game over when the freckled goddess arrives. Admit it, you are totally busting Cream O' Chicken soup over this.

Birthday: ?
Age: ?
Birth Name: Masanobu Sato

Original Date of HS of the Day: May 16, 2009
Claim to Fame: Masanobu is the biggest jerk-off the world has ever seen and he'll take that as a compliment. At this year's Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco, Masanobu beat (punned on purpose) his old record and jacked it for 9 hours and 58 minutes. Masanobu owes all his success to the Tenga which is like a rubber pussy egg.

Where is he now? Masanobu says he's going to pass on competing in the world jack-off contest in Copenhagen, because his peen is about to file a restraining order against him. But he hopes that one day he can choke the skin noodle for at least 10 hours. Oh, lord. Put an IV in his dick!

Why is he HS of the Week? Because Masanobu has turned masturbation into a serious business. Masanobu is just another example as to why Japan is like the greatest country EVER!

And (NSFW) click here to see a picture of Masanobu chillin' out with another dude while they both have tennis ball tubes over their wangs.

Tara Reid's tummy doesn't look like one of Freddy Krueger's bloated ass cheeks as much anymore, right? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Brit Brit needs a Cheeto facial and a soothing cup of possum feet tea - Popsugar

Mischa Barton's bare breasties don't even make it to DVD - Egotastic!

And today's rumor as to why Jacko's skin is quitting his ass - Hollywood Rag

Little Parker O'Donnell is all grown up - Just Jared

Anoop and Megan from American Idol making sweet love over breadsticks at Oliver Garden?! - Towleroad

This is why BABIES!!! are not for me - Urlesque

Brooke Hogan takes her serious tuck game to McDonald's after a workout - Hollywood Tuna

Tennis ass - Cityrag

Russell Brand needs a new t-shirt - Lainey Gossip

WELL, HELLO! Welcome to this open post. As you can see, the most glamorous hostess on the internet is here for you. Seriously, Brenda Dickson just makes you want to put on a gold lamé gown and go grocery shopping for rutabagas. This is the way we're all supposed to look! From her mauve glam-brows to her Chinese Laundry pumps...this is true sophistication. Do you think Brenda might be related to international supermodel Phoebe Price, because they both could pose the fuck out of a Barbizon fashion show.

Brace yourselves! The rumor that Mel Gibson knocked up his OctoCrazy look-a-like whore might be true! Earlier this month, The National Enquirer said that Mel told his estranged wife and his sons that his paid pussy, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant! TMZ is now co-signing that claim and said OctoSana is in her second trimester.

Wouldn't that be hot if she gave birth to a little Jewish man? Then Mel Gibson would explode into a cloud of dust and we'd be rid of his lunatic ass forever.

Seriously, this is not good news for humanity. I need a holy water-tini followed by a few snorts of crushed down communion wafers. However, I will raise a glass to OctoSana, because that shameless bitch is making that cash! SANTO DIOS!!!!

Gatecrasher is saying that Cameron Diaz might be rubbing her crusty pizza face all over Adam Levine's nalgas. Does this mean their Hollytard couple name is Camerooooon? You know, because he's in Maroon 5 and shit? No, how dare I use the name of Chantal Biya's precious homeland in the same paragraph as these two twats? Their couple name can simply be Two Dumb Whores. That works the best.

Anyway, some witness-types saw Pizza Face and Adam on a lunch date at Chateau Marmont the other. Cammy was bumping taints with Paul Sculfor (of Jennifer Aniston fame), but I guess she kicked his peen to the gutter and moved on to Adam. This would be the second ex of Jessica Simpson that Cammy is fucking on. The first being John Mayer. That means Tony Romo better keep Biore pads and Palmolive in his bathroom cabinet, because Cammy is coming his way any minute now.

Before signing on to do the movie Two Lovers, the biggest TIT of them all Fishsticks Paltrow had the director of the movie inspect her organic hush puppies to make sure they were okay for public viewing. The movie's director, James Gray, said Fishy called him into her trailer to have a look.

James told The Sun, “Gwyneth told me ‘I don't care about nudity, I'll give you everything you need. But I've had two children and I just don't think they look very good any more. Do me a favor, come into my trailer and I'll show them to you and if you think they look OK I'll do it.' So I marched in there and I told her they looked great.”

I hope Fishy will cover this in her next issue of POOP! Need validation?! Ask some random film director to approve of your sloppy titty sacks so you can feel good about yourself.

Peep at Fishy's mini-dumpling after the jump. Bring the tartar sauce and JUMP!!!

I think I got jizz poisoning last night, because I've had the barfs all morning in the grossest way. You know what's extra disgusting? Whenever I've got the purgies, my dog comes around the bathroom, sniffing at me like the buffet is open for business. Why are dogs so shamelessly gross?! That is not right.

Anyway, even though I'm feeling vommy, I'd still devour an entire tub of this Mother's Circus Animal Cookies ice cream from 1987. I didn't even know this deliciousness existed?! It's like the cream from an angel's vagina. Do you think I can buy some on eBay? Don't even tell me I should just crush down some cookies in vanilla ice cream, because that's way too much work.

And just ignore Matt LeBlanc's presence.

(Thanks Kazan)