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This is a feud I can get behind! Although, I'm not going to get too close behind them or one of their vaginas may suck me in just so they can give birth to me all over again. Labor is a sport, apparently.

OctoCrazy has taken time out from whipping her BABIES!!! on the ho stroll to speak to Radar about Kate Gosselin's interview with Dr. Phil from February. In the interview, Kate made some comments that OctoCrazy did not appreciate and she's just getting to it now.... Hey, when the spotlight is on Kate, a famewhore's gotta do what a famewhore's gotta do to get it back.

OctoCrazy told Radar, "She needs to stop being so judgmental and stop pulling at straws for attention. My children are extremely healthy, strong and happy. Don't you have, like, a lot of issues in your life? A lot of marital problems?" Oh, Snap......? Maybe not.

This is battle of the IVF addicts! The winner gets a new uterus and 25 new embryos! I'm pretty sure Kate's rabid beaver hair could tear the hell out of OctoMommy's obese trout lips, but I wouldn't bet all of my Mother's Cookies on it. OctoMommy looks like she will boil your pet bunny if she has to. She has the eyes of a lunatic who has seen the inside of a padded van at least a dozen times. And OctoCrazy could strangle Kate with her excess skin. Hmm. Get a whiff of the crazy below and judge for yourself.

And here's OctoCrazy's nemesis and her wandering belly button still on vacation in North Carolina.

The Daily Mail has a long sadful tale of Amy Wino's downward spiral in St. Lucia. For those of you have the attention span of a crackhead with ADD, I'll give it to you quick. Basically, Wino isn't doing shit down. The label sends hos down there to listen to her new shit and they aren't impressed. Wino says she still loves Blaaaaake, but is happy that he's having a baby with another bird. Wino is over crack, but she's now cuddling up to a new poison: TEQUILA!!!!!!!!!!! Did somebody say tequila?????

The reporter from the DM caught up with her one morning at her hotel bar. Wino was on her second tequila shot by 9 in the morning. This was considered a slow morning for Wino, because usually she would've gulped her 6th shot by then. The bartender wouldn't give her a third and instead served her a cup of chamomile tea. When the bartender walked away for a second, Wino jumped back there and had a quickie with the tequila bottle. When the bartender came back, Wino asked for another shot. Her request was denied, but the Wino was not defeated. She kept sneaking shots whenever the bartender shuffled away for a second.

The entire resort knows about Wino's tequila addiction. The maids are regularly sent out to buy more whenever Wino has downed their entire stock. Mitch Wino was looking after his daughter, but when she started going at the booze in a major way, he ran back to England. Mitch said, "I've decided to distance myself, and whatever happens, happens. It's her life and it's her decision."

Yes, Wino is still a mess, but my question is why is in St. Lucia? If homegirl has the major thirsties for tequila why isn't she down in Mexico? In certain parts of Mexico, tequila comes out of the faucets. Even some of the toilets are filled with tequila. That makes it extra easy to drop and reload! I'm pretty sure that if they ever run out of tequila down there the entire country will be shut down, so that's not even an option. Listen to me. I'm a total enabler. But we are talking about tequila here.

Here's the tequila fiend with her new alkie apprentice in St. Lucia yesterday.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt quit I'm Not A Celebrity....But Keep The Cameras On Me last night and apparently they have already been replaced. People is saying that Stephen Baldwin's brother Daniel and Heidi's sister Holly have been put on planes to Costa Rica.

Lou Diamond Phillips better feed himself to the alligators, because he cannot be part of this epic suckery anymore. Lou is trashing his good name!

I mean, Holly Montag?! Nobody knows what that is! Why didn't the producers just cast the crackhead who begs outside of my bank? Bitch is more famous than Holly! And Janice Dickinson better put a lock over her panties, because Daniel is going to suckle on her chocha in the middle of the night for a quick fix! Ho can't be without the bad shit.

The Hot Slut of the Month election is upon us again! Get your finger nice and wet and get ready to vote! It will cure your hangover. Or will it make it feel worse? One of those! Anyway, here are your choices:

Felix Cane: Miss Pole Dance World 2009
Masanobu Sato: Mr. Masturbate-A-Thon 2009
The Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt: Mr. All Things Magical and Mythical 2009
Kate Gosselin's Hair: Ms. Electrocuted Rodent 2009

The winning slut will be announced on Thursday. As always, vote with your LIFE! Voting is in the sidebar to the right ---------> -----> ---->

Lily Allen's nipple is an attention whore (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Um, Blair Waldorf, I can see one of your nalgas- Egotastic!

Enema's face full of Bruno butt was completely staged - Just Jared

Borderline child abuse: Reese Witherspoon buys her kids Uggs - Popsugar

Based on these pictures, Kendra's pole skills are weak - Hollywood Tuna

Dear Mr. Paparazzi Man, where is the after picture of Cristiano Ronaldo's wet white shorty shorts? - Towleroad

Shockingly enough, nobody wanted to deface their home with this fuggery - Hollywood Rag

Cameron Diaz is two surgeries away from becoming a card carrying member of Club Madamism - Cityrag

The title of the Heathers sequel better be: The Revenge of Martha Dumptruck - Lainey Gossip

Pete Wentz's bar gets shut down for serving to minors. Looks like Ali Lohan will have to find a new favorite watering hole - Socialite Life

Brian Austin Green got a job - SOW

Guy Ritchie's new piece doesn't look like she has a vagina that eats hairy nuts, but you never know - Holy Moly!

Miranda Kerr is nekkid and chained to a tree for a cause - Popoholic

Why Waldo? - I'm Not Obsessed

No hugz from the critics for Conan O'Brien - Celebitchy

Don't call Joel Madden's kid a health violation or he will kick yo dog - ICYDK

This 10-minute video features Twilight's biggest fangirl flooding her house with chunky butterscotch panty pudding while watching the trailer for New Moon for the first time. Homegirl is having a serious spiritual experience. It's like she's conceiving and birthing this trailer in a matter of minutes. I didn't even act like this when watching Mah Boo Anderson Cooper swimming with Michael Phelps. Okay, I did, but I didn't put that shit on YouTube.

"Give me a paper cut" is so my new pick-up line.

And here's some pictures of sparkly RPattz gliding through the airport yesterday. This Twili-loonie is the reason why he needs police protection.

Danielle (aka Beverly Merill) and Theresa left a studio in NYC yesterday where they were promoting tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It's the episode where we learn that Danielle is a coke-whoring, kidnapping, ex-member of the Colombian Cartel who has clocked in 1,000 miles on her vagina. All makes sense to me, but I'm STILL concerned about Theresa's hairline.

I'm sure Theresa's hairline means well. I'm guessing it's madly in love with her eyebrows and just longs to be close to them. That's a sweet story, but Theresa better handle that mess before half of her head is covered in hair! Bitch already doesn't have buh-bees. Does she not want a fucking forehead too, because that's what's about to happen!

This is why I'm glad Theresa is spending more time with Danielle. The more time they spend together, the more it's likely that Danielle's scissor brows will jump over to Theresa's hairline and fix that shit.

Eli Roth, Brad Pitt's Inglourious Basterds co-star, told People that Maddox's favorite carrier knows that the only way you can get fresh and clean is with a baby wipe. Eli said, "After a scene, Brad had to get next to me for a close-up shot, and he said, 'Damn, you're ripe,' I said, 'I didn’t have time to shower.' He said, 'Baby wipes, man, baby wipes. I got six kids. All you've got to do is just take them, a couple quick wipes under the pits. Man, I'm getting pissed on all day. I don't have time to take a shower.'"

If you happen to see Terrence Howard standing outside of Brad Pitt's window with a bouquet made of baby wipes, you now know why. Terry's life-long search for the perfect bride is over. There's finally a human being that really understands him on a deep level. Specially, understands and appreciates his love of baby wipes. Because toilet paper is NEVER enough.

Looks who's protecting Jacko.... It's Quween of the Scene! Noted and documented! And I think she's checking to make sure her own nose didn't quit her ass after gazing at Jacko's butchered mug.

Anyway, Jacko has sold out 50 shows over in London and that is not what the Kind of the Crypt signed up for. Jacko is so angry he could fart through his butt chin!

Jacko slithered out of a dance studio in Los Angeles the other told and told his fans that he doesn't know if he can go on with all 50 shows. Jacko said (read this in his "sweet memaw with the whispers" voice), "Thank you for your love and support, I want you guys to know I love you very much. I don't know how I'm going to do 50 shows. I'm not a big eater - I need to put some weight on. I'm really angry with them booking me up to do 50 shows. I only wanted to do 10, and take the tour around the world to other cities, not 50 in one place I went to bed knowing I sold 10 dates, and woke up to the news I was booked to do 50."

Jacko should've sucked on a bottle filled with Jesus Juice (with a dash of protein powder) and kept his precious vagina lips shut! If he's too fragile to thrust his bones, he could bring in a team of doppelgangers to perform in his place. Paging LaToya Jackson, Teri Hatcher, Lynne from The Real Housewives of Orange County and the female skeleton from my 7th grade science class! Your services are needed in London! Not one bitch would flinch. Truth.

VIA The Sun

Because I have no self-respect, I spent 2 hours of my life watching the premiere of I'm A Famewhore.... Give Me Relevance last night. I really should've spent that time splashing my face with expelled douche water, because that's what it felt like. It was Spencer Twatt trying to out-douche himself over and over again. Meanwhile, Horsey Montag killed the jungle animals with her crying face of death. When she wasn't doing that, she was spraying her polyester mane with some kind of dry shampoo I guess she's trying to hawk. It probably smells like dehydrated butt nuggets, hot period juice and burnt fleshbeard.

And what about that prayer with Patti Blagojevich?! If you felt a rumbling down below, that was Satan laughing at that mess.

But the biggest asshole quote was when Spencer said that if they quit, their charities wouldn't suffer that much, because they chose the biggest ones. The sad part is that their shitnanigans proved to be the most entertaining part of the show. I really hate myself for falling for their fakery like that. But there's good news! I might be able to look at myself in the mirror again, because TMZ says Twit and Twat have quit the show for real this time after all their threats!

A source says that following the live part of the show last night, the two dumb boxes of pube hair walked the hell out. Apparently, they didn't come back. Unfortunately, that means they are coming to the States alive. Well, unless the producers care about humanity and blend them down into one of Sanjay's "protein shakes." They are both the color of yellow sperm, so Sanjaya wouldn't even know the difference.