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The Empress of Lucite's nipples are as giving as her heart. Yesterday in Miami, Shauna Sand felt that the beach needed some beautifying, so she undid her bikini top and let her lucite balls work their magic. Instantly, the seaweed on the beach disappeared and the water turned lucite blue. Unfortunately, not everyone was pleased to see Shauna's nips. The sand dollars on the beach slid deep into the ocean, because they knew they could not compete with the almighty lucite one's nipples.

Enough of this teasing, Shauna's nipples of wonder are after the jump. I would recommend looking at these pictures through a tiny hole in a piece of paper or you might be blinded by her raw elegance. Actually, I really do think God was inspired by Shauna's nipples when he created the eclipse. JUMP!!!

This stunning glamour shot should make you dump all your Sharpies into the bottom drawer for another day and pick up a BIC liquid ball point pen for your all your future eyebrow needs. Beautiful teeter-totter brows are the thing (this week).

I'm sure you don't even have to worry about taking a lady razor to your brows to achieve this ravishing look, because they probably fainted and fell off after first glance of this picture.

VIA The Smoking Gun (Thanks Sean)

Maury Povich - Happy Father's Day to all the papa je'es, pepaws, step-daddies, sperm donors and leather daddies out there! In honor of this special day, I thought we should pay tribute to a man who is responsible for bringing together hundreds of daddies with their illegitimate children! If it wasn't for Maury, many daddies wouldn't even know they have children! Thanks (?), Maury! It's always nice for the mother to know who to sue for child support payments. Maury brings them all together. Simply beautiful.

Below is just one touching "You ARE the father" moments from Maury. Actually, this is a two for one (I weep):

Jane Russell (88)
Kris Allen (24)
Prince William (27)
Erica Durance (31)
Chris Pratt (30)
Brandon Flowers (28)
Juliette Lewis (36)
Sonique (41)
Carrie Preston (42)
Lana Wachowski (44)
Doug Savant (45)
David Morrissey (45)
Marcella Detroit (50)
Michael Gross (62)
Meredith Baxter (62)
Tony Scott (65)
Mariette Hartley (69)