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When SamRo is walking down the street in London and hears the splappity slap of vagina lips behind her, she better book it because a certain fauxmosexual is coming to git her!

The Daily Mail is saying that HoHan has followed SamRo to London in a bid to win her back (aka to get her to put a little love in her checking out). HoHan apparently scheduled photo shoots and club appearances in London for the same dates SamRo would be in town. SamRo's snatch isn't exactly smiling over the news.

Last night, SamRo and her brother Mark were at Bungalow 8 when HoHan blew in with her friends. It wasn't all hugs and titty rubs, because SamRo busted out of there. Two quick snorts later, HoHan left Bungalo 8 and followed SamRo down the road.

Since parting ways back in April, the two twatty bumpers haven't been photographed together, but HoHan has been seen leaving SamRo's pad in Los Angeles a couple of times. The plot thins yet again!

SamRo is due to be in London for about a week and you better believe HoHan will stay in town for at least that long. Meanwhile, SamRo better sleep with a bar of soap near her bed to ward off the Lohans. They don't get near the stuff.

Whitney Houston's got a new album and Bobby Brown's got a new baby! I think we're supposed to do the doody bubble boogie for the first one and cry for the second one. Let's cuddle up to Whitney first:

KISS MY ASS' first album of music in seven years will be released on September 1st. That's all the information that the studio released. They didn't give up a title or say how many tracks she sang while on the wrong stuff. JOKES! As far as I know, Whitney has ended her long affair with the pipe. However, I think she's still kissing on Ray-J's deformed dick, so I'm not sure which is worse. Ponder for a second.

Now on to Bobby Beeeeeeeeee! While leaving a night club in Las Vegas last night, Bobby told TMZ that he's a father for the fifth time! Bobby's manager/fuck time partner gave birth to their son, Cassius, a few days ago.

That's nice and everything, but when are Whit & Bobby B going to get to work on the project everybody has been waiting for: Season 2 of Being Bobby Brown! Doody bubbles have been waiting to be popped! Just look at this remix FourFour did of the show. I know Whit & Bobby B aren't knocking it anymore, but the world of reality TV is depending on them to reunite for more fuckery. They really don't make 'em like this anymore.

Conan took over The Tonight Show earlier this week (or maybe last week) and I haven't seen him yet, but I have to tune in tonight just to see his set at work. Anybody who uses Super Mario Bros. as their inspiration for anything is gold in my book. I'm assuming that this is intentional. It has to be. I think. I hope.

And when it comes time to redo his set I hope Conan somehow pays homage to the greatest video game of my childhood, OUTRUN:

That blonde slut in the passenger seat was one of my earlier female idols.

Source: Serious Lunch VIA ONTD

The people have spoken and named Kate Gosselin's fried beaver hair as the current Hot Slut of the Month! Kate's dykey 'do will represent the month of May at the Hot Sloooot of the Year pageant in January. It will be asked about its stance on gay marriage, so it better be ready.

Thanks to all of you who took time out from touching your private places to vote!

Here's some pictures of our reigning HSOTM on top of that lady's head in North Carolina yesterday. I think that lady is trying to steal that baby friend. She's got problems.

WHAT?! Where will I get my morning dose of antioxidants now that a judge ruled that Crunchberries are not real berries?! It looks like I'll have to pour a little Smirnoff Blueberry Twist in my coffee - CDAN

Ciara is busting her snatch to sell albums. Literally. - Hollywood Tuna

Timbs and a Flannel: Ben Affleck is wearing an outfit fit for Rojo Caliente - Popsugar

Eva Longwhoria is in a bikini. Try not to jump all at once - Egotastic!

Beth Ditto or Jackie Beat (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Is Gabriel Aubry's peen the fountain of youth, because Halle Berry doesn't age - Just Jared

Dreams do come true: I will marry Mah Boo Sim - Towleroad

Cameron Diaz's face is free of pizza toppings in Marie Claire - Popoholic

Nicole Kidman donates to the Goodwill..... for a movie - Lainey Gossip

No, Megan Fox, I think people are looking at you like that because you shit through your mouth too much- Hollywood Rag

Activities you can do with your bong: Test your stoner movie trivia - Cityrag

This is a clip of Dixie Carter doing "The Lion" pose on her yoga video (???) from the early 90s. This is some Exorcist shit! You just want to throw some holy water on her ass and call a priest! Although, I can't make fun of Dixie too much, because this pose could also be called "Michael K on a First Date."

VIA That's Important!

While I was going through old pictures of Angie Jo before she became a saint, I found this jewel from 1998. It made me miss the old Angie. Look at her just sitting there in her polyester-blend suit. The Angie of yesterday could easily have a Chico's kind of day and love every minute of it. The Angie of today doesn't ever have days like that anymore. Come on, Angie. Slip into a Chico's suit and give us a smile while posing in front of a palm tree. It cures all. Sigh. Now on to Angie and Oprah's cock fight for power....

After two years, Oprah's reign as the most powerful of all on Forbes' The Celebrity 100 list has come to an end. Oprah was pushed off her throne by Angelina Jolie. Even though Oprah made $275 million last year and Angie made $27 million, the latter managed to whore herself out more in the media. Forbes' list is based on media exposure and earnings.

Rounding out the top 10 is:

3. Vadge ($110 million)
4. Beyonce ($87 million)
5. Tiger Woods ($110 million)
6. Bruce Springsteen ($70 million)
7. Steven Spielberg ($150 million)
8. Jennifer Aniston ($25 million)
9. Brad Pitt ($28 million)
10. Spaghetti Cat (a couple of dried noodles)

St. Angie may rule the sun and the moon, but I still don't think that's enough for her to be considered more powerful than THE MIGHTY O. In a battle to the death between St. Angie's child army and Oprah's army of crazy menopausal audience members led by Gayle King, we know who would win. All Oprah has to do is throw one of her free "favorite things" on Angie and cackle as her followers devour the saintly one whole.

These pictures gave me cotton mouth! Kim Zolciak and her new best homegirl Derrick J sucked the moisture right out of me! Really. Did you think it was possible for a bitch to wear a bedspread from the Waikiki Howard Johnson (circa 1983) quite like that?! You can almost feel the fresh tropical breezes blowing through your hair. Or maybe Derrick's no-no queefed again.

Derrick put on those red pumps and stomped on every ho in the room! Yet another ensemble from him that gave my nipples the hiccups.

And what about Kim?! I think her wig is showing signs of life! She must be feeding it Alpo, because it's looking healthy. Real wigs eat meat! It was also nice of Kim to get her Pound Puppy wig a friend. Just peek at the mangled birds trapped on her ankles. They pecked up the crumbs left by her wig.

Here's a few pictures of Kim at a party she threw with her Real Housewives of Atlanta castmate Kandi Burruss last night. NeNe was a no-show, but Sheree came. There's more pictures at FreddYo! They all might have left their dignity at home, but they did bring the glamour full force!

SPF and JJ are proving in the video above that they have what it takes to lip-synch the hell out of a song and wave their arms around just like their mama je'e'! And if you ask some hos, they do it even better. Dust off the Cheeto dust, shine them up and put them on stage! They are STARS!

The second leg of Brit Brit's "Sedated & Loving It" world tour opened in London last night and some of critics did not drink the Kool-Aid. They didn't even sip on that shit.

The Sun said, "A girl walking around, flicking her hair and miming to some average pop songs..... The choreography, dancers and set were top class but blonde Britters parading in her undercrackers was completely uninspiring. Madonna is twice her age and does double the dancing."

UNDERCRACKERS! Copy and pasting to the clipboard in my head.

The Telegraph called it a perfectly staged pop show, but also said, "Lipsynced, autotuned and double tracked, her vocals are as unashamedly pre-recorded as her backing tracks. Although there appear to be various balding middle-aged men bashing away in the orchestra pit, there are no actual musicians onstage, if you discount a dwarf and a bodybuilder miming guitar. This is as unabashedly fake as a diamanté crown."

And this is what The Guardian had to say, "The costumes are pretty skimpy and there's nowhere the set designers haven't contrived to put a pole for her to gyrate around. And yet there's something unsexy about all of it, possibly because there's something weirdly characterless about the woman at its centre: you'd happily trade some of the special effects for the sense of Spears actually engaging with her audience rather than slickly going through the motions."

What do they expect?! I know they want to see the kind of natural performance Brit Brit's Cheetolings give, but it's kind of hard to do that when you've got enough ludes in your system to even put Aretha Franklin's magnificent chichis to sleep. Suck on a Cheeto, have some PURPLE DRANK and enjoy. You can cry later when the realization that you spent time on this shit sinks in.