In a TV interview with Piers Morgan, Katie Price says that she had a miscarriage just a few weeks before her marriage to Peter Andre ended.
Katie found out after she returned to England from America where she was shooting her reality show with Peter Andre and the kiddies. Katie says she was ten weeks pregnant when the doctors told her the fetus had no heart beat during a routine scan. After the doctor did some bloodwork, he thought there was a chance the baby was still alive, because the HGC levels were high. He called Katie in for another scan. She went on to say, "I went in thinking, 'He’s going to be great, he’s going to see a heartbeat.'" But the doctor told her that her baby had passed away.
Six days later she was running in the London Marathon, "I'm running along... and I'm trying to keep myself together, not to cry. I just wanted to say to people, 'Just leave me alone, I've just lost a baby.'"
Katie said that the loss of their baby had nothing to do with their marriage going sour. She says it was Peter's decision to quit their marriage, because he thought she was doing illegal sexy times with her horse-riding instructor Andrew. Katie denies that she ever rode her instructor. She also says she tried to make the marriage work, but Peter wasn't willing to try, "It was all down to Pete, he wanted this, not me. He's not as innocent as he's been making out."
When The Sun asked Peter Andre to comment on Katie's interview, his ass was not happy that she told the entire world about her miscarriage. His rep said, "It was Peter's child as well and Peter is devastated and deeply disappointed that Kate has chosen to speak out about this and their marriage. It is a private matter."
Ouch. I kind of felt the chill. Queens can be so bitchy during times of sadness (don't look at me like that). But I don't know why Peter Andre is clutching his pearl necklace (you decide what kind) in shock that Katie is sharing their business with everyone. I mean, Katie has already shared with us that Peter's peen is the color of butt butter, among other things.
I wonder what Harvey thinks about Peter leaving his mama je'e during such a sad time. I think he should express his feelings to the world in the form of an interpretive dance.
The legacy of Billy Mays will live on forever and always!!! Right after his death, Billy's infomercials were pulled from TV and he was silenced. I know, I too felt lost and confused without Billy yelling at me in the middle of the night. Billy was no longer there to comfort me (and make my ear drums throb) with his "Miley Cyrus after smoking 12 packs of Reds" voice.
Well, Billy will finally return to our TV screens again after a two week absence! With the consent of his widow, two new infomercials for Mighty Putty and Mighty Tape will star airing soon.
Billy's widow tells the New York Post it's what he would have wanted, "Billy believed in every product he sold, and he loved nothing more than bringing helpful products to people at a great savings. He always enjoyed meeting his loyal fans and taking time to really talk to everyday people."
If only Mighty Tape could mend our broken hearts! Actually, we should order that shit and try it, because that's what Billy would have wanted!
Hayden Pantaloons might have stuffed her training bra - Egotastic!
Mr. and Mrs. Twitter sun their twatters in the Caribbean - Popsugar
Miranda Kerr nekkid or a 12-year-old ladyboy? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
Fuckery: Not a Chico's kind of gay - Towleroad
Kim Kardassian really should have written a how-to-guide on how to make millions even though you are as useless as a dingle berry - Hollywood Rag
This would be the perfect diet if you replaced "Parliament cigarettes" with the good shit and "black coffee" with whiskey - Celebitchy
Pepaw Carrey - Just Jared
Chesus will not be happy about this - I'm Not Obsessed
HoHan's new production company is probably a front for a meth ring, right? - Socialite Life
Beethoven has never looked skankier - ICYDK
Drunk dudes aren't good at standing - Cityrag
Here's a monkey and a pussy performing a scene I like to call "If Michael K Ever Ran Into Mah Boo Anderson Cooper." But except for a creepy lady voice saying, "You love your kitty kitty," there should be a rough police officer voice saying, "Put up your no-no where I can see it! Step away from the Silver Fox!"
But seriously, that cat should win an award for being the most tolerant pussy in the world for not scratching out that monkey's eyeballs. The pussy must be on ludes.
This is just a short update so that you can get boozed tonight without worrying that Amy Wino spontaneously combusted into a tequila fountain or was accidentally mistaken for one of the islands mutts and put in quarantine. The Lush of Lucia is alive and healthy....ish!!! I mean, her ballet slippers haven't run away and she doesn't look like a Dia de los Muertos puppet anymore. The local nectar is working wonders (It's Friday, let me be generous) on her!
Wino also has company on the island. Kendra Wilkinson is there with her new husband Hank Baskett. It's pretty obvious as to why Kendra chose The Isle Of Wino as the place to spend her honeymoon. Kendra is totally not strictly dickly. She's there, because she wants to run her tongue all over Wino's Chuck E. Cheese.
A little while ago, I made a dumb joke about how Joe Jackson was going to turn Prince Michael, Paris and Blanket into The Jackson 3. Well, don't be surprised if you see them flaunting their jazz hands and pirouettes for dollars at the 3rd Street Promenade, because Joe might have plans for them!
In an interview with Good Morning America (via UsWeekly), Joe said, "I keep watching Paris, She wants to do something." As for Blanket, Joe said the boy has got the moves, "That's what they're saying. He can really dance."
Joe didn't mention Prince Michael's talents, so I guess this means that he's the LaToya?. Don't worry, Prince Michael, the LaToya in the family has the most fun.
Katherine Jackson currently has custody of the kids, but Joe somehow thinks that he does too! When asked who could get permanent custody, he said, "The grandmother, Katherine, and I. There's no one else to do what we can do for them. We should keep them all together and make them happy. And feed them like they're supposed to be fed. And let them get rest ... and grow up to be strong Jacksons."
What he really meant by "strong Jacksons" is "overflowing ATMs."
As far as I know, Katherine and Joe didn't shit under the same roof, so what is this "we" mess? Jafar Jackson needs to know that it's not normal when he looks at his grandkiddies and sees dancing sparkly dollar signs all around them.
Joe, do you see that purdy thumb of yours? Do us all a favor and stick it in your ass as deep as you can, wiggle it around, pull it out and then stick it in your mouth. Keep it there.
Chaz Bono made his first public appearance last night since announcing that he's saying "bye bye" to his bagina and "hi hi" to a peen. Chaz came out with his girlfriend Jennifer Elia to support Benjamin Bratt's movie La Mission at L.A.'s Outfest last night.
Benjamin told ET that he was doing the dick slappy dance, because he was so happy that Chaz came out to celebrate the festival, "I think it's pretty auspicious, I think it takes a great deal of courage to be here and be part of that personal celebration. I've never met him, but I'm looking forward to it tonight, so we're happy to be here."
If my fuck time friend had eyebrows like Chaz's girlfriend, I'd take that bitch out wherever I went too. If it wasn't for Jennifer's beautiful sperm fish brows, she'd totally look like she's a lolita from Long Island. I bet you Jennifer doesn't even have to pluck 'em! She just pours a little nacho cheese around the edges and Chaz nibbles those unwanted hairs right off!
That's the only reasonable explanation I come up with as to why Papa Joe thinks it's a brilliant idea for his daughter Asshole Simpson to record an album of Michael Jackson covers. Page Six says that Asshole's pimp is giving her music career mouth-to-mouth (Papa Joe's chonies just filled up) by pitching the album to executives.
I have a feeling that Asshole's "boar with bad allergies getting butt fucked with a taser gun" voice singing "Thriller" would cause Michael Jackson to rise from the dead so that he could moonwalk all over her mouth hole! Maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.
The other night, Jude Law greeted the fans outside of the theater where he's playing Hamlet by bringing his nipples out to say hello. Last night, this stalky-eyed ho wanted an encore performance! Her eyes definitely say "Show Me Da Nipplez." Jude Law was not about to quench her thirst and made sure to not make eye contact. When you make eye contact with a crazy, that's the only sign they need to dry hump your nalgas, burn up your cell phone at all hours and crawl into your bedroom window to watch you sleep. Well played, Jude.
RPattz isn't the only English dude who can bring the horny lunatics to the yard. Jude and RPattz are almost the same! Well, except Jude's magical forest hair doesn't have any unicorns frolicking in it, it isn't made of magic and someone's been chopping through his forest at a record pace. Call Save The Rainforest!
Sasha Fierce's "Sweet Dreams" video hasn't even been out for 48 hours and the glittery gays of YouTube have already wrapped their honey baked hands all over it. It's a glitter revolution!
You might remember this buttery sweet Cinnabon roll from his earthquake-inducing performance back in May. Some of you may still be on the floor. Well, the bitch is back and he's taking it to the garage. Tyrone Jones is pulling out all the stops in this one from the ripple effect (which had me craving Cheddar & Sour Cream Lays) and the butter-churning grind. Why isn't this hot bitch in a Tyler Perry movie already?
I was also kind of hoping that the garage door opened to reveal his mom in a Camry screaming, "Get your gay ass out of the way! The El Pollo Loco is going to get cold!"