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Oh no. 2009 is not doing us right! Another legend has passed. Walter Cronkite went off to the great big newsroom in the sky today at the age 92. Walter's family said he died at 7:42 tonight in New York. Walter's cause of death is not known yet, but a few weeks ago his family said he was suffering from cerebrovascular disease.

Walter was the anchor on the CBS news from 1962 to 1981. He delivered news of the assassination of John F. Kennedy in 1963 and also announced the first moon landing in 1969. Walter would end each broadcast with his signature line: "And that's the way it is."

Walter is survived by his three children and his many grandchildren.

May Walter rest in peace..... He will always be an American icon and will forever be missed.

Jennifer Aniston needs to crack open a box of Snack Wells, get out her Cathy notepad and pay attention because the First Lady of Camel Toe is giving tips on how to keep a man. If for some strange crazy reason (MIND BOGGLING), these tips don't work and your man leaves you, at least you will be fully trained as a Grade A SERVANT! You'll see what I'm talking about. Here's some of what Ice-T's main bitch wrote on Global Grind:

How do I keep a man? Well, I can only speak from experience because I'm not a doctor, just a woman that knows what she wants. To lay out my history with Ice, we have been married for 8 years and still going strong. We met in California on a movie set and have been inseparable ever since. Now we live in NY and at the moment we don't have any kids together. Everybody says relationships get boring, but it doesn't have to be that way, its entirely up to the both of you.

Ice and I work all day together on the set of his show "Law and Order", because I have an office there. But as soon as we get home, I'll change into a skimpy outfit like booty shorts and heels because it changes the mood from being business oriented. LADIES & GENTLEMEN...the most IMPORTANT advice I can give is to make sure you listen to one another!!!!! TALK A LOT!! I think the reason that Ice and I have made it in the celebrity world for so long is because we constantly communicate. Remember, relationships will always have those bad moments and it won't be rosy all the time. You have to be strong for one another and don't chicken out when you come to a bump in the road.

It may seem a little old fashioned but here are some pointers that you can do to cater to your man:

Make him a cold drink
Cook him his favorite food
Give him a body rub
Dress in his favorite outfit or item
Draw him a bath
Watch all his favorite shows for a night
Play video games with him
And finally, kiss or lick his feet. Hehe- LOL. - very optional

When the always sophisticated CoCo speaks, my ears pucker, but reading that list gave me the tireds! When will we have the time to max out his credit cards, bounce on the peen and watch hours of daytime TV while making out with See's chocolates (the chews only)?

I mean, CoCo expects hos to nibble on toe sauce while shooting worms on Gears of War 2 and shaking a gin martini?

AND what's with the "draw him a bath" fuckery? Who does that? If you're a character in a period piece, puts your hand down, because you don't count!

During the Sotomayor hearings yesterday afternoon, Senator Jeff Sessions said they were all going to light the pipe and have themselves a crack smokin' party! And here I was thinking that most senators spend their breaks tap dancing for dick in the bathroom.

VIA Towleroad

Here's world-famous Persian movie actor Jakey G working the weave, leathah and swords in a new still for that Prince of Persia: Sands of Time mess which hits theaters next Summer. There's something about this that just screams "I Can't Believe It's Not Dick Butter" to me.

That being said, we all have to give clappity claps for Jakey's crotch bulge game. That's probably where he keeps his hair scrunchie. Jakey must have taken lessons from Soulja Boy. I'm not mad.

VIA Entertainment Weekly

Jon Gosselin is officially living in NYC. If you have a hard time picturing Jon skipping through the streets of Manhattan, just picture Slimer from Ghosbusters floating around. The same image. No offense to Slimer.

People reports that Jon and his endless supply of d-bag rags have taken up space at The Alexandria on the Upper West Side. A witness saw "some unidentified people" (maybe his kids in jumpsuits and caps?) moving him in on July 2nd while he was doing douche stuff in France with meth brows.

Jon has a two-bedroom on a high floor in the building. The building has a 24-hour doorman, a gym, a pool, a hot tub and a playroom. Whatever Kate Gosselin spends a month on kibble for her possum hair is most likely what Jon pays for rent.

If you're a neighbor of Jon's, you should give him a good ole' NYC welcome by fisting him in his dough mouth. That's how they welcome you here! When I first arrived in NYC, the first thing I got was a.... You know where I'm going with this and you probably don't want to come.

And here's some touching pictures of Kate back at home in Pennsylvania brushing one of the dogs. I should stop saying that the animal catcher needs to throw a net over her tortured possum hair, because it's obvious that Kate knows how to care for animals.

Pamela Anderson will eat your braaaaaaaaaains (after she's finished destroying that sad ice cream cone) (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Somebody with a pulse and a working brain (not confirmed) actually married Fred Durst - Radar

Anna Friel isn't shy - Egotastic!

Can somebody tells Becks that official soccer rules state that if you hug another dude, you both have to be shirtless. Those are the rules!!! - Lainey Gossip

Air Force One knows how to get a party started - Towleroad

Shia LaDouche or a dirty plumber who reeks of Coors and won't stop staring at your ass? - Just Jared

Brit Brit's titty and weave dingles tour Europe - Cityrag

The Dragon Tale Twins have a really hot nanny (I'm talking about the blondie in red) - Popsugar

Professional Magazine Whore flashes her crotch on purpose this time - Hollywood Tuna

Denise Richards says she has "friends with benefits." Oh, so that's what we're calling Johns these days? - Hollywood Rag

Why am I expecting RiRi to jump out of a tree hollow with jazz hands flailing while cackling "Ehehehehe! Ehehehehehe! Eheheheeeee!" Girl, just dip your head in a bowl of Manic Panic (Shade: Pat Field) and finish the transformation into Woody Woodpecker already! Woody doesn't play, so he may sue your ass for copyright infringement, but hotness costs.

And RiRi is stronger than me, because my no-no would be slobbering all over that piping hot cup of sessiness in the background.

Not only is Terrence Howard a highly educated expert when it comes to vagina hygiene, but he's also a skilled picture taker and hairdresser. Is there anything Terry can't do? Well, besides "make sense," but that goes without saying.

Here's Terry sunning his luscious titty pies in Italy with his "sometimes" wife Lori McCommas and their kiddies. And I'm kind of mad at Terry, because I can't look at Lori without thinking, "Bitch smells like babies!"

UsWeekly is shouting that Charlene Duprey and one of the long-lost Keebler elves have quit each other after 7 years. A source says that Jermaine Dupri was telling people that the reason why he didn't go to Michael Jackson's memorial was because he "doesn't attend funeral," but the truth is he wasn't with Janet anymore.

Apparently, Janet decided that she wanted to keep her peen time and business time separate. The source went on to say, "You shouldn't mix business with pleasure. Janet felt their lives were too crossed and they should have kept things sepa­rate. Jermaine likes to be out there, mingling with everybody, and ­Janet's more shy."

Or maybe Janet was just sick of having to answer a riddle every time she wanted to spend time with Jermaine.

A mole writes: I Met him on a night out with James Hewitt and the girls… at the Mandarin Oriental Bar. James and I bought him a scotch and I ended up in his room with a best friend of mine who later left. The Hollywood actor started crying in front of me - asking me if I ‘could be the one’ and telling me we looked similar and had the same eyes. He kept asking me why his fiancée (another megafamous person) was not at home/returning his calls. He asked me to call him ‘daddy’ in bed and ended the evening with a bowl of Rice Krispies and chardonnay. (Holy Moly via Blind Gossip)

I have no clue. This like an SAT question. My guess is Harrison Ford even though he seems more like a Cheerios and Merlot kind of dude.

Which UK female solo singer has been fucking her way through her road crew? It’s not Susan Boyle. (Holy Moly via Blind Gossip)

Since Amy Wino is on the sidelines right now, I'll guess Lily Allen?

Two celebrities in this one. He is one of the stars of a cable series. She is a young actress who has done both movie and television work. He is married. She is single. They had an affair. He got tired of her and tried to terminate the relationship. However, she didn’t give up. In fact, she’s been pursuing him harder than ever. She calls and text messages and emails him constantly. The messages are ratcheting up both in number and intensity. She’s threatening him. If he doesn’t get back together with her she’ll go to the press, to his wife, or to the police. Why the police? She’s underage, that’s why. We just know he’s going to come home one day to a bunny boiling on the stove. (Blind Gossip)

I don't think Hannah Montana knows how to boil water, so she's out.... And please don't say the dude is a certain vagina addict.....

What sexy cougar refused to attend an event until was she assured that the guest list included a variety of hot young men? (Gatecrasher)

Sharon "I screw and skin cubs" Stone?

(Image starring Winston via Four Four)