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Jon and Kate kept their hate for each other on the down low yesterday as they celebrated the Fourth of July with their kiddies. Jon's peen was probably lit up like a sparkler the entire time, because it knew it would go home to its own bed where Kate Gosselin's grouchy possum hair wouldn't hiss at it in the middle of the night. Indepenis Day for John!

The day ended without The Kool-Aid Man Jon throwing a firecracker at the rabid beast on Kate's head, so they are making progress! Kate must have sedated her possum head, because the raggedy mammals didn't run up the stairs while the fireworks are going off. You know how animals get around that shit!

And you're probably wondering why the hell they are doing fireworks in the daytime? Um, how are the paps going to get clear shots of their asses if God's bright spotlight isn't on them? Durr.

Last night, Vadge opened the latest leg of her "Sticky & Sweet" tour at London's O2 Arena. This is the same joint where Michael Jackson was supposed to play a bunch of shows. Vadge honored MJ with a small tribute during her show.

In the tribute, one of her dancers dressed up as Michael Jackson and danced around while Vadge posed in the background. At the end, Vadge broke out her British ringmaster voice when she said, "Let's give it to one of the greatest entertainers the world has ever knooooown!"

I'll admit that when I heard Vadge was going to pay tribute to MJ in some way, I did get a little tingly. I thought Vadge would recreate her amazing performance of "Billie Jean" complete with her gorgeous 80s slutty wedding dress and dancers in white denim vests. Now THIS is a tribute:

Before we start, I just need to say that the new equation is: Ginges + A Chocolate Fountain = HEAVEN. Now that I've gotten that out of the way....

20-year-old Rupert Grint is eating Jello and watching The Golden Girls today, because he is laid up due to the SWINE FLU! Rupert's spokeswhore issued a statement which basically said he got the pork ills while shooting the next Harry Potter movie:

"It has just been confirmed that Rupert Grint has taken a few days out of filming due to a mild bout of swine flu. He has now recovered and is looking forward to joining his fellow cast members at the junket and premieres this week and will then return to filming directly afterwards."

Doctors say that Rupert isn't contagious and is healthy enough to attend the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince premiere in London this Tuesday.

If I was fluent in Hogwartnese I'd add some shit about how Professor Snape should make him a healing potion using the nectar that drips out of Harry Potter's skin wand. Or something. Oh and I'd say the word "muggles" a few times, because all my Harry Potterhead friends use that shit a lot.

VIA People

Jane Sibbett - Jane is best known as Ross' gayelle ex-wife on Friends, but she should be remembered as the backstabbing, gold digging, superficial slut Heddy on my mom's favorite sitcom of all-time (go figure) Herman's Head!

Click here to see a clip of Heddy admitting that she's really not that great at gold digging, but she's a pro at being a slut. And I love how office sluts always sit on top of the desk when they're talking on the phone.

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