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Here are some extremely crystal meth clear pictures of Kristen Stewart and the keeper of the enchanted unicorn forest practically wet fucking on each other in front of their fellow Eclipse cast members at the Kings of Leon concert in Vancouver last night. Okay, in reality, they are probably just talking really close, because the music is loud, but let's just go with it.... Kristen is totally playing with his sparkly dick butter while RPattz flicks the fleas off her crotch nest with his feet. *Romance*.

And I hope that right after these pictures were taken, Kristen immediately filed a restraining order against every crazy in this picture. You know, just to be safe.

Since that is obviously not a rum Frappuccino in Brit Brit's paws, that better be a cherry Kool-Aid version of PURPLE DRANK or I'm not sure if I know who she is anymore. And if I didn't know who Brit Brit is anymore, then I would feel completely lost in the world. Although, I'm happy that Brit Brit knows that the fastest way to getting your skin looking like a glistening pork rind (not to mention getting a bad case of the skin cancers) is to slather your body in baby oil. Fuck all that Sevin Nyne bullshit! That shit is for the weak! Hillbillies are hardcore.

Here's Brit Brit keeping it sessy in a Rock of Love-approved bikini at the Ritz Carlton in Marina Del Rey yesterday.

Last night, my ass wrote some post about how Brad Pitt says he gave up the good shit when he had kiddies. Well, I joked that I would need to be on every kind of the bad shit in order to deal with little trolls running all around me with slobbery mouths and asses. Well, Kerry Katona shares my philosophy and there's video proof of this! The News of the World (Of. Course.) somehow obtained a video (beware of the teddy bear cam!!!) of Kerry snorting a line of Lohan powder in her bathroom at 5pm while her daughters were downstairs playing. After Kerry gets a boost, she does the coke groan, checks her nostrils for evidence and then goes downstairs.

The video was apparently taken last Wednesday and it was the grand finale of a 4-day booze binge. A source said that pictures of Kerry's husband slutting around with lap dancers in Majorca drove her to the edge, "She was saying she couldn't forgive Mark and how she'd got revenge by sending him a text the night before declaring 'One all' - claiming that she'd cheated on him too."

Kerry admitted to being a cokey lover four years ago, but has denied away that she uses the stuff currently. Expect Kerry to show up on some morning talk show screaming shit like: "It was only Tylenol! For...um...me my migraines. And I also put a little powdered milk in there, because me bones are brittle! Tylenol and powdered milk. That's all! Carry on!"

Click here to see Kerry Katona getting Kate Moss-ed in her own home. The music really upped the production values on this video. Do you think Hans Zimmer did the music?

Johanna Tukiainen - Finland's most glamorous model! Johanna is also chapter president of Finland's Church of Lucite!

Last year, Johanna was involved in a sexting scandal with the Foreign Minister. The Foreign Minister was fired after it was discovered that he sent nearly 200 sessy messages to Johanna. Since then, Johanna has continued her reign as Finland's greatest natural beauty!

Below is a video message from Johanna filmed at one of Mariah Carey's bunkers:

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