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Pamela Anderson and Suzanne Somers came blonde to blonde outside of Nobu last night while they were both on their way out. Suzanne was probably telling Pamela that if she eats plenty of bioidentical hormones and Somersweet, she can kick that Hep shit. Or something. You know how Suzanne is. When she gets started on that shit, she won't stop.

And Pamela kept her mug down the whole time, because she didn't want to look straight into the face of a piece who is 20 years older than her and is still hotter. Seriously, Suzanne is getting ALL OF IT. Although, Pamela gets an A for her eyebrow game.

Here's more of Pamela Anderson (who is looking like a wayward beach hooker who will give you a dry handjob under the pier for a half-smoked joint) leaving Nobu with Krissy Snow.

Get ready to add Lynn Curtin's name to the long list of hos from The Real Housewives series who have been kicked out of their humble abodes due to not paying their bills! TMZ says that while the cameras were rolling, Lynn received an eviction notice from her landlord telling her to pay $12,000 or take her leathery ass elsewhere. Stupid ass Lynn probably said thank you when she received the eviction notice, because she thought it was a love letter or some shit.

The eviction notice states that Lynn and her husband have not paid a $10,000 security deposit for the house they rent in Laguna Beach. They also owe landlord another $2,400 for other fees. AND they recently got their utilities shut off, because they didn't pay for that shit either.

The electricity in Lynn's head has been turned off for years, so this probably isn't a big deal to her. Actually, she probably didn't even notice. This IS the dumb dumb who didn't even know if she had air conditioning in her house.

I guess Curtin's Cuffs (formerly Cuff Luv) never became the worldwide fashion sensation Lynn thought it was going to be.

And coming soon to Bravo: The Real Housewives of the Projects starring Lynn, Jeana, Sheree, Lisa Wu, NeNe and Tamra! Honestly, that sounds like a hot show.

I knew that when I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "Please let today bring a Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart/Kari Anne Peniche fuck tape," the sex tape gods would not let me down and answer my prayers! Gawker got a hold of a 12-minute tape starring Eric Dane, his wife Rebecca Gayheart and Miss Teen USA 2002 Kari Anne Peniche.

Kari Ann is a fucking gem! Bitch lost her Miss Teen USA crown, because she posed nude in Playboy. She was also engaged to Aaron Carter (that says everything.) Recently, Kari Ann was on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab, but got kicked off for punching a camera dude. Gawker also says that Kari Ann is a known Hollywood madam.

In the clip that Gawker posted, there's not any fucking going on. It's just the three of them, hanging around nekkid while looking higher than an Amy Wino at midnight. Seriously, bitches be smoking or snorting something. Unfortunately, Gawker censored McSteamy's peen and that's all we really care about. Fleshbot is apparently going to give us the goods later. For you titty lovers out there, they didn't censor Rebecca or Kari Ann's boobies.

Gawker also has a picture on their site from The National Enquirer of Rebecca sitting in a bath tub holding a crack pipe. HA! Who knew this bitch was such a hot piece of trash?! I mean, she went from Noxzema Girl to child killer to crackie and now sex tape star?! Bitch is taking Eric Dane down with her. Or should say, she "drownded" Eric Dane.

Click here to see the clip, but don't blame me for you getting blue balls due to the lack of sexing going on. I've already warned you.

Yesterday in Italy, Vadge celebrated her 51st birthday by taking all the mouths she feeds out for a little boat road to a big yacht. Once they got the yacht, Vadge changed into her sexy granny swimsuit and made out with Baby Jesus in front of everyone. When Vadge sucked the life out of Baby Jesus, everyone's stomach shriveled down into a raisin and then fell out of their asses. But hey, it was Vadge's birthday, so she can make people feel vommy if she wants to!

And Vadge's old-timey parasol isn't just decoration, vampire zombie skin cannot be directly exposed to sunlight for more than a few seconds. So don't make fun! But seriously, this whole thing looks so fucking bizarre. I mean, Vadge's veiny log arms, her swim shorts, Baby Jesus, the fluffy white dog, all those children, the old timey parasol.... It's like I'm watching a David Lynch movie while on shrooms.

Which D-list relationship recently ended when the gal found out her man's secret vice was boy-on-boy action? (Gatecrasher

PleasebeReggieBushPleasebeReggieBushPleasebeReggieBush... But since that's unlikely, I'll guess Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnson (it was too easy to pass up) or Demi Lovato and Trace Cyrus?

This A list director passed out during a premiere of his latest movie. When people tried to help him out of the theatre they noticed he had wet himself and his seat. Nice. (CDAN)

Quentin Tarantino? Dude needs a membership to the Diaper of the Month Club.

This B+ reality star and sometime actress has her very own diet plan. She is so pleased with it she wanted to try and market it. She actually approached her agent and said, "I have a great diet plan and I want to sell it." "What is it?" the agent asked. "It's this pill called Adderall. I take it and then I am not hungry for days." (CDAN)

Ceiling Eyes?

This very good looking C+ list movie actor who doesn't work as much as you would think was in a convenience store. There were two people in line in front of him and after waiting patiently for about two seconds pushed them out of the way and said he needed to go first. When the clerk told him he would have to wait his turn, our actor screamed and yelled and then walked out. He opened the door so hard that it broke off its hinges. (CDAN)

Nick Zano, star of Beverly Hills Chihuahua? Although he may be borderline E-list.

This isn't so much of an example as bad drug behavior but it is drug related. This A list country music singer with a sterling reputation is also a huge meth dealer. Well actually it is his road manager that does the dealing. Our singer just gets the majority of the profits. (CDAN)

Kenny Chesney? And if it is, this blind item should read "tina dealer" instead of "meth dealer." Speak Kenny's language!

If it's suddenly announced that the world is officially out of silicone, blame Traci Bingham - Hollywood Tuna

Not since Godzilla has such a scary creature terrorized Tokyo - Cityrag

George Michael needs to quit telling jokes - Towleroad

Carrie Underwood or Kim Zolciak Jr.? - Just Jared

Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale looks just like a real-life adorable Kewpie Doll - Popsugar

Every Camden crack dealer is rejoicing - Holy Moly!

Dannii Minogue is looking a little Jessica Biel-ish in the face - Egotastic!

Brit Brit's Cheetolings got the Supercuts treatment - Lainey Gossip

Rankin gives Xtina the ultimate compliment. JLo is jealous. - Hollywood Rag

Kiss a spud, because Tater Head is 21 - Socialite Life

Since Fishsticks Paltrow made ScarJo's life so miserable on the Iron Man 2 set, she's taking it out on all of us by singing again - Popoholic

Becky #2 from Roseanne is pregnant - SOW

Marky Marky, come on over here and let's practice our "smoke inhaling" skills by bonging together so that this never happens again - I'm Not Obsessed

Marisa Miller and Alessandra Ambrosio can't dance (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Hugh Grant is ready to quit this bitch - Celebitchy

Kendra and Hank's extremely creative baby name - ICYDK

Birthday: 1979ish
Age: 30 (I think)
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HS of the Day: August 16, 2009
Claim to Fame: Johanna is the pride of Finland! Johanna went from "dancer" to overnight superstar model sensation (not really) after she was involved in a sexting scandal with the Foreign Prime Minister. Since then, Johanna has been forced to work the famewhore stroll even though she's really just a modest and reclusive person. Johanna is doing it for her adoring public.

Where is she now? Johanna continues to be one of Finland's busiest models. Click here to see her portfolio (it's blank).

Why is she HS of the Week? Because Johanna is the Jodie Marsh/Shauna Sand/Orit Fux of Finland! And not only does she a face and body that can make a tube of Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls spontaneously combust, but she also has the voice of a virgin song bird....after being run over by a semi, dragged 500-feet and thrown into a pond full of battery acid. Hear for yourself:

Picture source: Urheiluviikko.net

The giant cloud blocking everyone's sunshine on the set of Iron Man 2 was not ScarJo's gigantic chichi balls. No, apparently, Fishsticks Paltrow is the one who brought everyone down. A little while ago, I wrote some post about how Fishy and ScarJo didn't exchange friendship bracelets or become blood sisters while working together. Fox411 is now co-signing that rumor and adding that even the crew scurried like roaches every time the GOOP QUEEN entered the building.

A source said, "Gwyneth is extremely cool at work. She's just a step above professional, too snobby. Gwyneth is not friendly to anyone, and tends to make people feel awkward and uncomfortable. She wasn't outright rude to Scarlett, she just didn't ever speak to her. Gwyneth went out of her way to avoid Scarlett, and they had zero contact, at Gwyneth's choosing."

Fishy must be a real yeast infection of a person, because the crew liked hanging out with her dirty tampon husband instead! The source went on to yap, "Much of the crew didn't mind hanging out with her husband, Chris, but if Gwyneth ever came around, they scattered! Chris is so chill and relaxed and she is just the opposite. Chris has been a crew favorite since the filming of the first movie."

In Fishy's defense, she didn't talk to Mrs. Ryan Reynolds, because ScarJo's tittays are fatty and filled with cholesterol. Fishy only surrounds herself with natural healthiness.

And I know these "Fishy is annoying" stories are a dime a dozen, but I really can't get enough of them. I can totally picture the crew having a zillion laughs with ScarJo when all of a sudden Fishy slithers into the room causing everyone to come down with the dry shits and cotton mouth. Bitch really knows how to eff up your bowel movements.

Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Homeboy: The Hunt for Jude Law's Next Baby Mama has wrapped up principal photography and is due out this Christmas, but The Mirror claims shit is about to change in a major way. According to sources, Warner Bros. wasn't exactly blowing jizz bombs over the final cut and has demanded that Guy fix it pronto. They want Guy to re-shoot some scenes and add Sherlock's arch rival, the evil Professor Moriarty, to the movie.

After being scolded by mommy and daddy, Guy immediately asked his old Snatch friend Brad Pitt to step in as Moriarty. Luckily for Guy, Brad has an open spot in his schedule and is available for the re-shoots. Brad has already arrived in London and will soon begin shooting.

A source said, “It was an oversight in the film not to make a bigger deal about Moriarty. He is mentioned as Holmes’ arch enemy, but the bosses wanted Guy to make more of him. Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr have already shot their scenes. But now that 10 extra days have been added to shoot the new ones, they may be called back for a day or two."

Because of all the changes, the movie won't open this Christmas and has been pushed into 2010.

Why bother with Benjamin Button's?! I recently read that Guy wanted to explore Sherlock and Watson's homoerotic relationship in this movie, so he could've just added a good old-fashioned ass-to-mouth scene at the end to sell more tickets. Nothing puts hos in seats like gay porn. Besides, I always felt that Watson's face should be covered in man gravy when Sherlock delivers his signature line: "Elementary, my dear Watson." Just pretend that made sense.

UPDATE: Well, fuck. A spokeswhore for Warner Bros. says this lies. They issued this statement to UsWeekly: "The report in today’s London Mirror is completely inaccurate. Brad Pitt is not joining the cast of Sherlock Holmes and we're extremely pleased with the production of the film. As planned, it will be released on Christmas Day, 2009. In order to complete the movie, we've scheduled a few days on set to shoot a couple of additional scenes, obtain pick-up shots, and perfect some of the visual effects elements, all of which is standard filmmaking practice."

This news is going to make OctoMommy swallow a fertility clinic whole, because bitch is going to have to step up her baby game. The Sun says that a woman in Tunisia is about to turn her snatch into a popcorn machine by giving birth to 12 BABIES!!!!! And if you just queefed, that was your uterus dry heaving.

Doctor confirmed that the human baby machine's instant child army will consist of six boys and six girls. The woman conceived the babies after going through a series of fertility treatments. The soon-to-be DodecaMommy wants to give birth naturally, but doctors have told her that her pussy will literally explode. That's exactly what he said, the doctor said, "Mam, I am a doctor and my medical expertise tells me that your pussy will explode. Literally." Not to mention, that if she turns her vag tunnel into a water slide, Raging Waters will file a copyright infringement lawsuit against her.

The father of the babies told the press, "In the beginning, we thought that my wife would give birth to twins, but more fetuses were discovered. Our joy increased with the growing number."

Yeah, as they were crying tears of joy, her lady parts were crying tears of pain. If Miss Clown Car Conductor is wondering why there's a white flag sticking out of her vagina, somebody should tell her that it's her uterus begging for MERCY.