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File this under: Ideas you come up with during Happy Time Cokey Hour should stay in Happy Time Cokey Hour.

Aubrey O'Day (the breathing foundation puff from Danity Kane) and her friend SnL decided it would be really entertaining to cover Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time" (aka the song that makes tranny dick stand up and salute). There's so many effects on this shit that it sounds like Aubrey has a vibrator up her yes-yes hole and is singing into a fan. Aubrey, don't make Eddie take the salty nutsack out of his mouth so he can come and slap you in the teefs for messing with his masterpiece.

Seriously, why tinker with something that is already soooo perfect:

Source: Celebuzz

You have not made it as a pap until you've been maimed, whipped, shanked or smacked by Naomi "Beat A Bitch" Campbell! A photographer in Italy says he is now a member of The Naomi Campbell Victims' Club and has the bruises (aka precious badges) to prove it!

Gaetano Di Giovanni says he was taking pictures of Naomi and her hot billionaire piece on the island of Lipari when the next thing he knew, her claw was on his face. Gaetano told La Repubblica (via Daily Mail) that Naomi beat him with her purse and then scratched at his left eye. Naomi's boyfriend and her bodyguards had to drag her away, so she wouldn't do anymore damage to the pap. They probably had to give her the q-tip so her crazy ass would calm down! Seriously, you know her ass has an orgasm every time she smacks a skank. When she punches a bitch, her pussy pops!

Naomi's spokeswhore has called this whole story a bunch of lies. The police in Lipari said that no report has been filed. More like the report was accidentally filed into the trash can, because even the po po knows not to eff with Naomi.

Someone farted on the 18th hole at the Buick Open this past weekend and it's been blamed on Tiger Woods. In the clip above, Tiger and his caddy are standing around when you can clearly hear a wet, juicy fart coming out of someone's asshole. Tiger and his caddy laughed it off, so everyone figured he's the one who let out a butt belch. But CBS is crying that Tiger's b-hole is not the one!

TMZ says that the hos at CBS swear Tiger didn't fart. Um. How in the hell would they know if Tiger cut the Gruyere? Did they check his chonies for fart residue and butt snot? Did they send in one of their own to sniff on his butt?

I'm sure that on a very special episode of 60 Minutes this weekend, Andy Rooney will get to the bottom of it. Literally.

Birthday: March 17, 1954
Age: 55
Birth Name: Lesley-Anne Down

Original Date of HS of the Day: August 1, 2009
Claim to Fame: Lesley-Anne was a child beauty pageant queen (and she'll be one forever....) who went on to star in Upstairs, Downstairs, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, North and South, Dallas and Sunset Beach. Eventually, Lesley landed the role she was born to play: Jackie on The Bold and the Beautiful. Fun fact: Lesley plays Jack Wagner's mom on the show even though she's only 5 years older than his ass! Most actresses would shank a bitch over that, but Lesley is a true professional and thespian!

Where is she now? Duh. Jackie on The Bold and the Beautiful. On today's episode, Jackie got attacked by a cougar on a photo shoot!!! A real-life cougar, not the kind that slobbers over young peen.

Why is she HS of the Week? Because not only is Lesley-Anne the epitome of glamour, but she's also a homewrecker! While Lesley was shooting North and South back when she still had her original face, she did illegal sexy times with the cinematographer. They both left their spouses for each other and are still together. We all know I have a fascination with bull dozer vaginas.

Image: Soapnet

Expect a sequel to JLove's "STOP CALLING ME FAT" People Magazine cover in 3...2... - Hollywood Tuna

I have a feeling that this is the closest Elisabetta Canalis will ever get to riding on George Clooney - Lainey Gossip

The Brangelina Holy family continue to feast on the food of the GODS - Popsugar

Christina Hendricks and her 8th world wonder tittays in Esquire - Egotastic!

What your genitals have been waiting for: Ivana Trump in a bikini (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Justin Timberlake in drag would've been hotter - Just Jared

Katie Price might have a case of the oinks. SAVE HARVEY! - Holy Moly!

Made of NIGHTMARES - Cityrag

Kewpie Doll in a two piece - Popoholic

Papa Joe's Angels go to dinner - Hollywood Rag

This is a hot video - Hollywood Tuna

Ali Larter gained a ball and chain this weekend! - SOW

Frieda Pinto and Dev Patel make their debut as official fucky time partners - Celebitchy

Katy Perry face-first in a donut hole (not porn) - Socialite Life

Cue Joe Jackson rubbing his palms together - Popeater

JLo should just give Skeletor the whole cone, because he's the one that needs it - I'm Not Obsessed

Professional Magazine Cover Whore on Elle - ICYDK

(Image: Fame Pictures)

For a brief moment in the Hamptons on Saturday, everyone's electricity went out, the pipes froze and every bottle of fake tan caca dried up, because White Oprah and Michael Lohan reunited as Satan cackled down below! I think that when White Oprah and Jon Gosselin's partner in douchery touched, a new child star was born in the Disney whore factory.

Here's a few more pictures of the fried leech known as White Oprah, The Curious Case of Ali Lohan, Michael and his girlfriend who always looks like she just got a giant shot of Novocaine injected into her gums. If I was forced to kiss on Michael Lohan, I'd be numbing my mouth all the time too.

Right before Jack Nicholson went snorkeling in France, he exercised his lungs by puffing away on a cigarette. Nine out of ten snorkeling professionals recommend that you puff up your lungs with nicotine clouds before going underwater. Besides, if Jack doesn't smoke on a ciggie at least every hour, his succulent titty sacks will deflate even more!

You know, seeing Jack floating in the ocean while sucking on a thin stick in his, reminded me of this:

Too mean? Well, guess what? I don't give a fuck! I'm mad at Jack. Take a look at the thumbnail below and you'll see why I have a CROC to pick with him. Jack, I know they match your diaper (see how angry he makes me?), but put down those works of evil and come towards the light. The war against CROCS is almost over and I want you to be on the right side when the plastic dust settles and victory is declared!

A reader who cares about eyebrow issues as much as I do (Thanks, Andrea) sent me this disturbing job listing out of Craigslist in Phoenix. It's really sad to see that in this day and age, there are still bigots out there who do not accept eyebrows of all sizes, shapes, textures and colors (furry uni ones don't count). Something must be done about this! I think we should march through the streets of Ahwatukee with our Sharpies high in the air!

I can understand not wanting to hire someone whose car has an uncontrollable bladder, but discriminating against someone because they are completely fluent in the language of exquisite eyebrows? WRONG!!!!

I'm guessing that the dumb ass skank who wrote this ad has a hairline which practically touches their eyelids (Does Teresa from RHONJ have a dietary supplement company in Arizona?) They are jealous of those who are able to paint beautiful eyebrow works of art on their face.

I mean, who wouldn't want to see this at their place of business every single work day?

Nothing says "a professional business woman who gets things done" like a pristine pair of drawn brows.

Brit Brit spent 9 hours inside of a salon in Downtown Los Angeles yesterday getting her weave dyed the exact shade of White Cheddar Cheetos. Our Lady of Cheetos is getting all gourmet on us! Okay, the paps say it took 9 hours, but how long does it really take to marinate a few polyester weave pieces in Clorox and paste it on her scalp using non-toxic Elmer's (you know how she gets around fumes)?

After Brit finished up, she stuffed her saggamuffins into one of Mariah Carey's old dresses and partied at a Jazz club nearby. In some of the pictures, Brit Brit's got that crazed Frapp twinkle in her eye like she wants to whoop a trick with an umbrella or visit a gas station in the dead of night (NUTS!). Is it wrong that this excites me? It might be. Daddy Spears, put on your Fannypack filled with meds and come and get your child.