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Am I having some kind of acid flashback, because I don't even know what I'm looking at. Slap me or stick an ice cube up my ass, because this does not feel like real life! Stacy Haiduk, who plays Mary Jane on The Young and the Restless, brought this puss purse as her date to the Daytime Emmy Awards tonight in L.A.. Don't worry, she kept a little bag of Tender Vittles up her ass to feed her cat later. FUCKERY!

I'm guessing that this is just a stuffed animal (the toy kind) bag and not an actual taxirdermy cat, because if that was the case PETA would be on this bitch like crabs on Parasite Hilton. PETA wouldn't throw a bag of flour on her like they did with LiLo, they'd throw an entire wheat field on this bitch! They wouldn't cover her in just a little paint, they would drop an entire Glidden factory on her head!

Stacy is all sorts of wrong for bringing her creepy purssy out in public! This piece of horrific fuckery should be kept at home.....in a trunk....a padlocked trunk. And I'm no Sylvia Browne, but I'm going to predict that we will all have the same star of our nightmares tonight: THIS PUSS PURSE! It's eyes are alive and it's gonna git you!

UPDATE: Thanks to zoohouse3 for letting my ass know that Stacy's character on the show is a Crazy McCrazy who thinks her dead cat is a real one. The stuffed cat she brought to the Emmys tonight is also the one she uses on the show. Stacy still needs to keep her creepy purssy in the studio! The children are crying!

Japan has officially become the land of animal eyebrows (aka the land of all things important)! First, they brought us the Columbo dog with eyebrows and now they have delivered the lil' pussy with brows (insert landing strip joke here)! No Sharpies were used in the making of this kitten's eyebrows. They are au naturale.

Don't even say pussy's brows are all shades of wonky, because they aren't! They kind of look like angel wings, which makes sense since a pair of exquisite eyebrows are a gift from God.

VIA Buzzfeed

Truth is, I'm only posting these pictures of Cisco Adler with his piece in Malibu, because it gives me yet another reason to link to (SAFE FOR EVERYONE.... I'm lying...NSFW) a picture of his Slinky sacks. Every pair of eyeballs on this planet must view Cisco's looooong "hamsters in a hammock" nutsack at least TWICE (double your displeasure).

To answer my own question, yes, I'd hit it. Well, I want to see those things in action. But I wouldn't let him hit it from the back. Those things could wrap around and bust one of my eyes out or punch me in the stomach. Actually, it's probably best that you wear a full-body armor suit (with a hole for your fuck part) when taking on Cisco's wrecking ballsack.

And if 10-mile long balls aren't your thing, I also threw in some pictures of Jockey-lover Gavin Rossdale on the same beach as Cisco.

Blink 182 dedicated their show in Hartford, CT last night to their friend DJ AM who passed away a couple of days ago. They took a moment of silence and later handed out his CDs to the crowd.

Earlier in the day, Travis Barker, who survived a plane crash with DJ AM, Twittered his feelings:

"Don't know how I am gonna play 2night but I am for AM. My brother is gone. I love u and miss u, I'll never forget all the good times we had.

I'll never forget everything we've been through and every time I play the drums, I'll think of you. U were an amazing friend/DJ/human being.

Rest in peace, my brother. This really fucks me up."

DJ AM's cause of death is still not known. His autopsy was completed on Saturday, but the results were inconclusive. The Medical Examiner's office in NYC needs to do more tests and said that it could take several more weeks before they can officially rule a cause of death. Why does it feel like we're always waiting around for toxicology reports? This is not how anyone wanted to spend their summer.

There are several reports going around that the cops found a crack pipe in his room and also a bag of crack in his sweat pants, but none of that has been confirmed.

When Aqua's "Barbie Girl" came out in the late 90s, Mattel, being the fun killers that they are, immediately sued their asses claiming the song made Barbie sound like a dumb blonde bimbo whore (well if the no-crotch fits). The case went all the way to the Supreme Court and was eventually dismissed, because the judge said the song was a parody.

Well, Mattel is now using the song to whore out their new "Do the Barbie" dance. Yeah, I guess Mattel doesn't really give an eff that the song is basically making fun of Barbie. But they did completely eff up the lyrics by making them more G-rated. SCRAGS BITCHES!

Unless you want to look like a special needs prostitute zombie who has a bad case of crotch crabs, I wouldn't recommend doing the Barbie dance.

And when did Ken become Samantha Ronson?

VIA Jezebel

I guess wearing bootleg colored contacts bought at the swap meet are the new thing, because Amber Rose wore hers while hosting Tao Beach at The Venetian yesterday. Yes, hosting stupid ass pool parties (see below) is all the rage! Wake me when international supermodel Phoebe Price and Ariel Wade co-host a pool party at the Super 8 in Gainesville, Florida. Fish grease + Chicken Cutlets = A good fucking time.

It was nice of Gay Fish to temporarily unattach Amber Rose's umbilical cord from his b-hole, so she can go out and make her own money. He probably got sick of opening his precious coin purse every time she needed a few dollars to get a shave and a bleach at the barber shop.

Here's more pictures of the alien android known as Amber Rose making some money yesterday afternoon in Las Vegas. I hope they poured extra chlorine in that pool, because every trick in there probably pissed their bikinis out of fright when they first saw her "STAINS on the bad shit" eyes. Throw a cupcake at her!

Jon Grosslin's douche express made a stop over in Las Vegas yesterday so that he could host a pool party at Wet Republic at the MGM Grand. Even if MGM paid his ass in Ed Hardy diapers, a pair of CZ studs from Spencer's Gifts and a new potted plastic plant (for Hailey), then they still overpaid. MGM could've just put a lukewarm bottle of Summer's Eve on one of the lounge chairs and it would've been the exact same thing.

IN THIS ECONOMY, a check is a check, but what the hell is next for J.Gross? A rap album (Titled: 99 Problems and Kate is all of them)? A Girls Gone Wild video? Ick Nast. But at least Jon kept his Pillsbury dough moobs under wraps, so that was nice of him.

But enough about Jon and his neverending early mid-life crisis, let's talk about the glamorous beauty that is his mother! Now that Kate's rabid possum isn't around to maul her eyeballs, it's safe for her to come out and douche it up with her son!

Look at Mama Gosselin keeping it sessy in her visor while posing with the fly honeys (copyright: Marky Mark). Speaking of the fly honeys, the one posing with Mama Gosselin in the third thumbnail below is squeezing those thighs for dear life, because I think bitch's little friend is about to steal the spotlight. Tuck game FAIL! Squeeze, bitch, squeeze!

Claudia Neidig - Claudia is a German actress who has done a bunch of movie stuff in her country, but she is best known to US audiences for her role in National Lampoon's European Vacation. In the movie, Claudia plays a German girl who bares her chichi dumplings to Rusty for absolutely no reason. This was an important scene for me as a kid, because as far as I can remember, this is the first time I saw bare tittays in a movie. I think. I kept wondering why her nipples were almost the same color as her tit skin. Clorox maybe?

After the jump is a grainy picture of Claudia baring her booby cakes to Rusty. While you look at that, I'm going to try to remember the first time I saw a peen on the screen. These are the moments of our LIVES!!! JUMP!!

Cameron Diaz (37)
Andy Roddick (27)
Lisa Ling (36)
Frederique Van Der Wal (42)
Michael Michele (43)
Michael Chiklis (46)
Paul Oakenfold (46)
David Paymer (55)
Peggy Lipton (63)
Elizabeth Ashley (70)
Kitty Wells (90)