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Earlier, I posted some pictures of a pop group I've never heard of called Miss Lolitas. Well, here's one of their videos for a song called "Party Starters." Before we start, I'm going to need to see some IDs. Hand me one of those scanners and slide these girls' IDs over! Because if they aren't of age, their parents should be in the clink. Well, their parents should be in the clink either way, but they should have to serve a few life sentences if these girls were born before 1991.

Age aside, this shit is a monumental achievement in videomaking! It's like mini versions of the Rock of Love Bus hos ran out of booze and went on a rampage through the streets of Los Angeles to find more of the sweet nectar! Even though this shit looks like it was filmed using a janked-up video cell phone found in a urinal at Les Deux, I can't fault it! Anything that was shot guerrilla-style at my favorite haunts (McDonald's, Target, gas stations, used car dealerships, various street corners, etc...) is a masterpiece in my book.

And I don't even want to know how they paid for this $2 dollah video or where they got those 1980s slutty wrestler outfits. Again, I want to see some IDs and birth certificates!

(Thanks Kristen)

This is 51-year-old Sharon Stone with her chichis out on the cover of Paris Match. In case you couldn't tell, they used a whole lot of fards for these pictures. Fards everywhere! Fards on her face! Fards on her hair! Fards on her teefs! Fards on her elbows! Fards on her titty sacks! Fards on her nipples! Fards on her pussy bone! Fards! Fards! Fards! They also used a whole lot of le Photoshop. They really brought the Pshop fuckery American-style! I'm surprised her nipples aren't pixelated.

Now, I'm not doubting that Sharon Stone has a hot body, but she does not have skin like a brand new mannequin out of the factory.

Warning: Clicking on some of the thumbnails below may result in a cougar nipple hitting you in the face.

John Hughes died this morning in NYC after suffering a heart attack while on a morning walk. John was in NYC to visit with his family. He was only 59-years-old. It feels like the 80s (aka my childhood) is dying and this is sad. Is this Summer over yet?

I must thank John for Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, Weird Science (my favorite of favorites), Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Planes Trains & Automobiles, She's Having A Baby, Curly Sue, Home Alone, Vacation, European Vacation, Career Opportunities and the list goes on and on....

May John rest in peace.

Source: TMZ

Last night, Jessica Simpson and her friends celebrated Ken Pave's 56th birthday (I'm making up numbers) by getting wasted. They are doing the right thing, because that's what you do on birthdays, holidays, weddings, funerals, during labor, weekends, weekdays, morning times, etc... etc....

These pictures are kind of hilarious, because it seems like chaos is happening all around them and Jessica's boozed up ass doesn't even notice! I mean, water was thrown and Ken Paves looks like he's got the angries in a bad way. Ken's glitter hole is whistling like a kettle, he's so mad! And there's Jessica: "Doo doo dooo doo doooo dooo dooo doo. O look, it's a purdy waterfall... doo dooo dooo dooo."

Bitch really does have it good. Drunk or sober, she never knows what the hell is going on with anything! Can you imagine always being dazed in the head without having to snort one line of the bad shit?! They say ignorance is bliss. Well, Jessica Simpson is bliss too.

Which chart topper used to invite his straight male friends to try on his female housemate's dresses... then try to snog them? (3am Girls)

This is a BI out of Britain and I'm pretty sure it's customary there to put on a dress when you're visiting someone else's house. At least that's what I do when I go there. And my guesses for this are Robbie Williams, Ne-Yo or Gavin Rossdale?

This B list cable television and sometime feature movie actor recently took part in a contest with an organization which allowed for several lucky winners to meet him at an event. Everything went fine, but our actor seemed to spend a great deal of time focusing on one female fan in particular. He focused in on her so much that they ended up having sex in his dressing room at the event. What neither of them realized at first was the walls in the dressing rooms were paper thin. They finally realized it when they could hear the people in the surrounding dressing rooms laughing at them because the actor kept asking the fan during sex if she liked fucking a star. (CDAN)

The Piven? The Piven? And The Piven?

Which martial artist is fond of a little ladyboy action? This person has been in the news a lot the past couple of weeks - can you guess who it is? (Holy Moly)

Let's go with Katie Price's new piece, the cage fighter with a face like a roid?

This entertaining woman is well-known for being funny and controversial. Although she has done work for the big screen and the stage, she is most well known for television. It should come as no surprise that her behavior in her private life is as volatile as that in her public life. Her partner has finally had enough and has headed for the exit sign. They have both been extremely quiet about the split, and our star is very sad to be on her own. We are curious to see to what they will do about their mix of kids, especially those who are related to one parent but not the other. (Blind Gossip)

Rosie O? But she's already denied that she's no longer bumping it with her partner in puss.

Image VIA ICHC

Sienna Miller sexing up a horse in GQ Magazine. I hope Mister Horsey ain't maaaaaaaaarried - Egotastic!

Lauren Conrad doing her best Angie Jo impersonation - Popsugar

Giant panda giving birth (panda puss not visible) - Towleroad

Former supermodel still looks hot in a bikini. TBE. - Hollywood Tuna

Bryce Dallas Howard is training for when she has to run from crazed Twihards - Just Jared

Trick question: Which one is the leather bag? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Vampire Beeeeehl at the beach - Lainey Gossip

Why is Mimi wearing my cousin's "dick catching" (her words) outfit? - Hollywood Rag

What Tommy Girl dreams about at night - Cityrag

Linda Evangelista wearing the same outfit Madonna wears when she's alone with Baby Jesus - I'm Not Obsessed

Parasite Hilton shows us where her dogs sleep. You know, when all the drawers and closets are already occupied - ICYDK

Only K-WellFed could make money off of getting really fat - Popeater

Katie Price tried to move from one gay peen to another - Holy Moly!

Glamour Magazine effed up Jessica Simpson's face - Socialite Life

Barbara Walters is really horny - Celebitchy

Well, the others didn't stand a chance. I thought Sandra Lee would booze her way to victory, but Maru stuffed all those sluts in a box and took the crown (made out of Mother's Circus Animal Cookies) with 66% of the votes!

Maru will now face off with STAINS, Clara Cannacciari, Uggs, Susan Boyle, Kate Gosselin's possum hair, Quween on the Scene and 5 others for the title of all titles: Hot Slut of the 2009! Yeah, we have 4 animals (including Kate's possum friend) in the finals. Just call this shit FurListed. Thanks to all who voted!

When I first salivated over these pictures of Ryan Gosling on a motherfuckin' bike, I thought the loud roaring and squeaking in my ears was just my imagination really taking me there. But no, the roaring was actually coming from my genital areas. Don't worry, I just dabbed a little Pennzoil on there and now it won't be doing that anymore. For now. And don't ruing the moment by mentioning Ryan's prison-quality Giving Tree tattoo.

A teacher in Malaysia is in a little trouble after she forced one of her 16-year-old students to smoke 4 cigarettes at a time for two hours straight. The dude smoked a total of 42 ciggies. Dude is probably still pooping ash.

The teacher forced the smoke-a-thon on the student after she discovered a cigarette in his locker. You know homegirl's genius plan backfired. She thought she was going to smoke the habit out of him. Methinks she created a smoke monster! Dude is going to be trolling the gutters for ciggie butts to eat. Good going, teacher.

When the boy's uncle found out about this fuckery, he filed a police report. A police official said, "This is not normal. We don't do that often." Shhhhhh, officer, don't say that so loud! Katherine Hagel is currently on a plane to Malaysia to enroll as a permanent student in that teacher's class. We're finally rid of her annoying ass and we don't want her to know this isn't common practice!

Source