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Three crew members who worked on both Transformers movies sent in an open letter to Michael Bay's official site (via ONTD) where they shat all over philosopher and feminist Megan Fox for calling Michael "Hitler" in an interview.

The three unnamed crew members (aka Michael Bay, his assistant and his publicist) are basically co-signing what most whores already think. They say Megan is dumber than a Snuggie, ungrateful, classless, a cunt of all cunts, completely talentless and that she should probably be doing porn instead of acting in blockbuster movies.

The letter is supposed to make you want to run for president of the I HATE MEGAN FOX fan club, but it actually makes me kind of like her stupid ass for a quick minute. I mean, she's dumb, she's a slut and she's a bitch. The dumb slutty bitch is my kind! It's like we were separated at the free clinic!

The entire letter is after the jump. It's long, but the pure cuntiness of it makes it a must read. JUMP!

On 20/20 last night, Detective La Toya once again declared that her brother was murdered by those around him! Michael's death has already been ruled a homicide and the LAPD is building a case against Dr. Con, but La Toya knows in her nostrils (if you squint you can see them) that it was MURDER!

When Barbara Walters asked Det. La Toya who murdered Michael, she said she didn't know for sure. Oh, La Toya knows! If you hang on to one of the tarantula penises hanging off of her eyelid and look directly into her magnifying glass eyes, you will see that she knows the truth. Det. La Toya will host a dinner party at a mansion on a hill where she will announce it was Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick!

No, Ed Westwick doesn't want Zac Efron's body like that. Ed just wants to chop his and Zac's heads off and switch bodies. Basically. Life & Style says that 22-year-old Ed is sick and tired of having the body of a puff pastry-wrapped trout, so he wants to get muscles like purdy Cover Girl Zac Efron.

A source said, “After seeing new pics of Zac in magazines, Ed’s determined to get cut like him. Ed has no muscles or definition and really wants to improve his body.”

Aw. I'm guessing Ed sashayed into Chace Crawford's trailer one hot afternoon and caught him dry screwing one of Zac Efron's shirtless pictures. So now Ed wants to be the Zac Efron of Chace Crawford's wet dreams! Don't change for a twink, Ed! There's a zillion hos out there who will get the tingles while watching your body jiggle like a Jello Jiggler during fucky times (all fingers point to ME).

(Image sources: Fame & Splash)

Now you know that those little princess dresses found in the toddler section at F.A.O. Schwartz come in Size: HAM. You have Mimi to thank for that, because she wore one last night at the first of four shows she's doing at the Palms Resort in Las Vegas. Mimi's blowing butterfly queefs in front of a live audience to promote her soon-to-be released album "Memoirs Of An Incontinent Angel."

That giant oaf of a man Tom Brady burped out that his wife Gis Bundchen is currently housing a baby in her midlands section. Tom told ESPN (via People) that Gis will evict their baby sometime in December. This is Tom confirming the rumor from May about Gis being knocked up.

Tom said, "The women are the ones who have to do the work. We just have to be there to support them and so it'll be nice to do that." Well, be there to support them on every day but Sunday. Tom agreed to go to Lamaze classes with Gis, but told her, "No Sundays! It couldn't be harder than training camp, so I'll be prepared."

And Gis should get a lawyer to write up what her idea of "support" is, because methinks Tom's idea is very different. When Bridge Moynahan was knocked up, Tom supported her by riding Gis bareback. So, the more you know, Gis.....

Here's some pictures from last month of Gis bouncing around Boston while hiding her OMGSOHUGENORMOUS bump from the paps. It looks like she's carrying a fetus in her lips instead of in her belly area.

It looks like Sarah Palin will be able to see Levi's goods from her house, because he is going to drop them panties and get nekkid for Playgirl.com. TMZ says that Levi has been spending a lot of time at the gym to get his body ready to pose for pictures that thousands of gay dudes will rub their genitals all over (GUILTY). But there's one issue, Levi's "handler" says he's trying to decide whether or not to show his shaved caribou or his pair of bearded seals. Yeah, I don't know what that means either. Basically, he wants to show either his dick or ass.

Let's take a vote. All of you in favor of seeing his ass, punch yourself in the crotch bone, because you should want to see THE PEEN instead! Fuck his ass (panty creaming moment)! Show us the Alaskan-bred MEAT! Yes, it's probably a little frost-bitten and shrively from living in an igloo park, but a few slaps on a hot log will warm it up and get it camera ready!

Come on, Levi's peen, pucker up for the camera and say, "YOU BETCHA!"

Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov - A 30-year-old bus driver from Norway who was born with the name "Andreas Jankov" officially changed it to THAT above, because he wanted "to show that it is possible to be serious and at the same time take the name you like."

You know, when I first saw a picture of JAGAMCHEJ's precious mug, I immediately had to catch my heart after it jumped out of my mouth in fright. But after that, I thought to myself, "Hmmm. This fine piece with a ginge chin bush definitely looks like a Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka (misspelled for uniqueness) Highlander Elessar-Jankov." I bet if you say his name ten times really fast a nerd boy will win a mint-condition Star Wars Loose Double Telescoping Darth Vader action figure on eBay. That's the equivalent of a thousand crotch orgasms.

And I've been thinking about it for a while now, but JAGAMCHEJ has inspired me to finally follow through and legally change my name to: Lucite Spaghetti Ginge Harvey Cutlets Caliente Cooper K. Or Lucy for short.

VIA Videogum

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