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It's the season of swollen everything, so I wouldn't be surprised if Anna Kournikova is knocked up with Enrique Iglesias' baby. Fertile cum is in the air! The New York Daily News claims that Anna didn't participate in the Malibu Triathlon last week, because she's got a 2-month-old fetus hanging out in her body.

Yes, they are still together after all these centuries. I know, I had to Google it for proof.

I know Enrique got his mole chewed off a while ago, but I hope his baby inherits it. Because let's be real, we need more mole babies.

VIA Showbiz Spy

At yesterday's Values Voters conference in DC, reporters from both MSNBC (above) and Fox News (below) were told to shut their gaping whore mouths because the audience couldn't hear the speakers. And they were so damn polite about it too! No punches were thrown, NO MICS WERE SNATCHED (nod to Kanye) and no children were hurt.

If this was an abuelita convention, chanklas would be up asses, wire hangers would be flying across the room and bitches would have knots in their heads. Seriously, if I ever interrupted my abuelita's favorite novela (SPOILER ALERT: Carrusel), I'd get a slap in the mouth. And she'd wear all her biggest rings too.

I mean, look at Mumble McMumbles below. He's trying to shush up the Fox News reporter, but I can't understand a word he's saying. If I was the reporter, I'd be really confused and just tell the dude I'll have the veal with a glass of Merlot. Mumbles belongs in a Twin Peaks episode.

Self-proclaimed Spaniard Fishsticks Paltrows, or should I say Pescado Sticks, dressed up like a parched and constipated blue fin tuna to attend a fashion show in Madrid for designer Adolfo Dominguez yesterday. Fishy, who looked more severe than the stick up Heather Mills' a-hole, chi-chatted with the chicks around her. Now, Fishy says she's fluent in Spanish, but when she talks in any language we all hear the exact same thing: blahblahblahfartqueefblahqueefblahfart.

Fishy was probably yammering about GOOP this, GOOP that, GOOP here, GOOP there, etc... etc... While Fishy was farting at the mouth, every single person in the audience probably thought to themselves: "Coño!" JINX!

Brad Pattison and his dog friend Rudy - Brad is the host/dog and human trainer on a Canadian show called At the End of My Leash which teaches hos how to check their dogs and vice versa. Brad's show also airs in the US on Animal Planet. Yeah, Brad is a Dog Whisperer-type, except sometimes he makes the humans cry out of shame. Hey, sometimes you gotta make a bitch cry like a Gordon Ramsay victim to get them to fix their shit.

Below is a short clip of Brad at work. You must always listen to Brad. His sessy turquoise t-shirt commands you to do so.

(For East End Girl)

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