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Sookeh and Beeehl aren't the only hos who are banging beach other after meeting on the True Blood set. Lainey Gossip says that Evan Rachel Wood and Alex Skarsgard have been fucking on each other for several weeks now. Do you hear that scraping sound? It's thousands of crazed fangbangers sharpening their shanks! Although, all they have to do is throw pie filling on Evan Rachel Wood and invite Marilyn Manson over for dessert. Bitch be gone!

Apparently, Evan and Alex have kept it on the down low by only hanging out together at non-famewhorey places in L.A. This past weekend, Evan flew to Shreveport, Louisiana to be with Alex. He's there shooting Straw Dogs with Kate Bosworth. Below is a picture of their asses walking down the street in New Orleans. Yeah, this isn't proof enough for me. If I was Evan, I'd be all over Alex's lingonberries all the time. Even in public. My legs would be wrapped around his shoulders and he'd have to carry my ass down the street like that. Evan's crotch area looks a little too calm.

If this shit is true, you know Evan Rachel Wood only went on True Blood to lick on Alex's piping hot Swedish meatball. I really have to stand up and applaud her ass for that. Bitch saw the goods and she got 'em. That is how it's done.

And I'm hoping that the next real-life True Blood romance will be between Eggs and Hoyt's mama je'e. Couple of the CENTURY!

Image VIA ONTD

Blohan is making all her dealers bawl like Michelle Duggar's uterus by wearing this "Just Say No To Drugs" t-shirt. They shouldn't head down to the unemployment office just yet! It's just 23-year-old (HA and HA) Blohan celebrating Halloween early! Or maybe it's Liar's Day in her world.

And Blohan should also say no to tan grease.....and collagen....and peroxide....and White Oprah.

AKM via TMZ

You know that something is wrong in the world when Prince Hot Ginge has to try to "win back" his ex-girlfriend Chelsy Davy. If Hot Ginge even glanced at me for ten milliseconds, my nipple, peen and mouth holes would immediately suction to his ass! And here he is working at trying to get Chelsy back on his ginge stick. SOME BITCHES HAVE IT ALL!

According to The Daily Telegraph, Hot Ginge and Chelsy have been on several secret dates in London and at his home in Shawbury. One source said, "Harry is still besotted with her and she can't get him out of her head, even though she's been seeing other guys. I don't think they've fully resolved some of the problems between them yet but we all think they'll give it one last shot."

PHG is straight up vaginatized. What is it with Hot Ginge and Chelsy? Does homegirl cum vodka or something? Because that's the only thing I can think of that would keep Hot Ginge coming back for more. And now I'm slapping myself in the head for painting the picture of Prince Hot Ginge snorting vodka out of Chelsy's cooze.

One of Fishsticks Paltrow's bosoms (you know she calls it that) tried to escape while she was going through the airport in her second home country of Spain (her words) yesterday with her son Moses. Fishsticks is all sorts of boring. Even her damn titty slips are G-rated! If you're going to pop a titty, make it count! None of these flesh bra shit.

Expect to see Fishy's guide to chichi flashing in the next issue of GOOP. Fishy will get Deepak Chopra and the Dalai Lama to give their tips on nipple slips.

Jeremy Piven is so brave. After nearly DYING (not really) from the fish flu (aka mercury poisoning), Jeremy brought his deflated titties out to hang out near the fish. No, I'm not talking about the trick he's with, I'm talking about him being so close to the ocean.

You know, Jeremy needs to calm down on the waxing shit. I know he wants a chest as smooth as a baby's taint, but it looks like he's going too far. I mean, some of his chest skin is missing! Bitch is waxing it right off! And his chichis look mighty weepy, because they are sick of being nekkid all the time. They want some damn privacy.

That being said, I'd hit that shit in a tub full of NADS. WELL, Jeremy Piven is the most popular guess of many kinky blind items, so I'd want to see if that shit is true. Call it investigative reporting!

Oh, look! It's the broken condom baby of Little Orphan Annie and Divine! Although, the sun won't be coming out tomorrow, because Beth is blocking it!

Beth Ditto normally looks like something Leigh Bowery queefed up, but she looked extra dragalicious last night, because she was judging some drag show in London. I approve of this look only because her hair is probably what Carrot Top's nut bush looks like.

Michelle Duggar's Uterus - When I first read that Michelle Duggar was knocked up with her 19th baby, my sympathies immediately went out to her tortured uterus, because it never ever gets a day off. Bitch is spent! So while you Americans and Canadians are boozing and bonging this Labor Day, don't forget to pour one out for the hardest working uterus in the game. Poor ass bitch has to work today too!

P.S. - When I googled "Michelle Duggar Uterus," this picture came up. Yeah, I won't be having a pork roast tonight. And her uterus probably looks more like this or this.

Michael Emerson (55)
Evan Rachel Wood (22)
Devon Sawa (31)
Molly Holly (32)
Oliver Hudson (33)
Shannon Elizabeth (36)
Tom Everett Scott (39)
Angie Everhart (40)
Rudy Galindo (40)
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Corbin Bernsen (55)
Chrissie Hynde (58)
Julie Kavner (59)
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