There's an ESCANDALO brewing over in East Cleveland after sessy pictures of Mayor Eric Brewer poppin' that ass in women's lingerie were shown on a local news station just days before the primary election. Mayor Eric would not confirm or deny if the hot piece in the wig is him or not. However, Mayor Eric did accuse his opponent of leaking the pictures in a last-minute attempt to sway voters. Well, guess what? I'm about to sway my ass over to East Cleveland to find a way to cast a vote for Mayor Eric!
The three things I look for in a mayor are:
1. Someone who has conquered the art of posing doggy-style for their Craigslist ad.
2. Someone who knows the importance of color coordinating their fuck-me-pumps with their lingerie.
3. Someone who is the star of a good ole' cross-dressing SCANDAL!
Mayor Eric has all three! Therefore, Mayor Erica, you have my vote girl!
Pamela Anderson debuted her new "fashion line" with
Chris Crocker Richie Rich in New Zealand, and here's a few more pictures from the show.
Even Richie Rich passed the dick out when Pamela "accidentally" dropped her whore cloth revealing her overworked 500,000-mile nalgas. In the words of my favorite crackhead from Atlanta Frankie: This was a MAN DOWN CODE 10 situation!
Don't ask me what the hell kind of raggedy ass fashion line this is, because I don't see any clothes. Maybe Pamela is trying to tap into the low-budget hooker demographic. I mean, they do need something to sort-of cover up their tittays for when they are running away from the police after getting caught sexing up a trick in the back of a pick-up. This will do it.
Remember Kirk Cameron's video rant from earlier this week about evolution, Darwin, Hitler (who is having the best week ever) and creationism? Understandably, Kirk got shit for it, but that isn't stopping him from continuing to spread his message! Kirk told People that he's on a mission to save the souls of our college freshmen. Kirk will visit colleges and universities to hand out a new 50-page introduction for Darwin's The Origin of Species.
Kirk said, "Atheism has been on the rise for years now, and the Bible of the atheists is The Origin of Species. We have a situation in our country where young people are entering college with a belief in God and exiting with that faith being stripped and shredded. What we want to do is have student make an informed, educated decision before they chuck their faith. I am proud to bring this to people's attention. You see things in the world that are truly distressing and you think, 'What can I do?' Well this is something I can do."
And what would Kirk say if his children believed in evolution? Kirk responded, "I accepted a lot of things that are not true before I was able to sit down and listen to more then one side and think things through the issues. I would sit them down and tell them that I was happy that they were thinking about this stuff, now let's look at all of the information and see if we don't come to a better conclusion. If after that, they still come to the same conclusion, so be it."
To be fair to some college students, it's hard to be a drunken whore with no morals when you have to get up early on a Sunday to go to church. I don't think anyone would appreciate them sitting in a pew with blood-shot eyes and crusty jizz on the corners of their mouths. It's best for everyone if they stay home and attend the Church of Father Dowling.
And just so we're clear, I know a ton of atheists who don't consider The Origin of Species as their bible. Their bible is and will always be the cocktail menu at T.G.I. Friday's.
Jude Law became a papa je'e for the fourth time earlier this week, and he just doesn't have the time to give a quick hello to his new baby friend. A source tells the Telegraph that Jude is busy doing acting shit on Broadway in Hamlet and can't fly all the way to the distant land known as Florida to visit baby Sophia. The source went to blurt out, "Sadly, Jude will not be able to see Sophia until he finishes work on Hamlet on Broadway in December."
But another friend said that Jude is hearing that his fuck time partner turned baby mama, Samantha Burke, is planning to sell her story and he wants nothing to do with it. Jude is afraid that the media will attack him like KFed attacking a refrigerator if he goes down there. The friend said, "Jude thinks that if he goes to Florida immediately, it will be a media circus. He doesn't see why he should give the paparazzi the pleasure."
You know, I doubt Samantha cares if Jude makes like his hairline and disappears. Methinks that Samantha only cares about one visitor making an appearance every single month: a fucking check from Jude! Truuuuuth!
International supermodel Phoebe Price never ever gets a moment off! Even while she's getting a parking ticket, she manages to pose like she's on a cover shoot for Vogue Kazakhstan! Actually, the cop on a bike might have been giving her a ticket for famewhoring on the stroll without a license. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that PP doesn't miss a beat!
Do you think she poses like a pro when she's on the toilet? Of course she does, because you never know when a camera flash is going to go off! Take that, Ty Ty!
Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were busted in Marfa, Texas yesterday after Santa Barbara County in CA issued an arrest warrant against the two for skipping out on a $5,546.96. hotel bill. Both the San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara and also the Hotel Bel-Air say Randy and Evi slept, drank and ate at their hotels without paying up! Hmm. My ass should check out these joints, because the establishments I frequent make me pay upfront for the full hour IN CASH.
Randy and Evi paid their $20k bail and are back on the loose. Brace yourselves, Motel 6!
Shortly after they sprang from the joint, Randy and Evi issued a hand-written statement to TMZ claiming they didn't stiff anyone. They also attacked a copy of a cashiers check they used to pay their bill at the San Ysidro Ranch. So, who to believe? Oh, who gives a bitch! At least we got to see these amazing mug shots.
Randy and Evi look like two cult members who have been living in a makeshift cave under the highway for a few years. Seriously, I love how mug shots always capture the crazy perfectly.
Kelly Rutherford from Gossip Girl (or more importantly, the hooker with a heart of gold from the original Melrose Place) was granted a temporary restraining order against her estranged husband, Daniel Giersch, because she claims he is effing up her life with his threats and overall craziness. This is just the latest lukewarm butt nugget in the filthy dirty custody battle between Kelly and Daniel.
According to the documents, Kelly says Daniel has been following her, her nanny and her mother. This caused the nanny to quit, because Daniel would constantly harass her and ask her questions about Kelly. Kelly claims that last week, when the nanny wouldn't give up any info, Daniel threatened to sue her ass. Kelly, who is a proud member of the La Leche League, also added that she can't make enough titty milk for her 3-month-old, because Daniel has caused her stress. Does Kelly have Salma Hayek's number in her rolodex, because she can squirt the leche under any condition! Bombs could be dropping around her, but that wouldn't stop Salma's "heal the world" chichis from feeding everyone.
The judge ordered that Daniel must stay at least 100 yards away from Kelly's life. The only time he's allowed near her home or car is when he's on a court-ordered visit with their kids Hermes & Helena.
Daniel's lawyer farted back at the claims and said Kelly is making it all up.
And I'm not Match.com or anything, but I think we need to set up a date (in a mental hospital) between Daniel and Anne "Celestia" Heche. That right there is a match made in straitjacket heaven.
MICHAEL JACKSON PRAISED HITLER!!!! No not at all, but that's what The Sun is kind of poking at with their story about how MJ once said Hitler was a "genius orator" during a taped conversation with his so-called friend Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. Yes, a genius "orator." You know my mind is always vacationing in the gutter, but I'm not even going to give that one a side-eye. I wonder if he spit or swallow? I'M STOPPING.
In taped conversations between Rabbi Shmuley and MJ obtained by The Sun (aka Rabbi Shmuley sold it to them in the back alley at midnight), the King of Pop reportedly says, "Hitler was a genius orator. To make that many people turn and change and hate, he had to be a showman and he was."
When Rabbi Shmuley asked MJ if he thinks he could've changed Hitler, he responded, "Absolutely. I know I could." He insisted nobody was all evil, explaining: You have to help them, give them therapy, teach them that somewhere, something in their life went wrong."HEALING with a moonwalk! It works every time.
You know, Aubrey O'Day tried to say the same thing a while ago, but it came out sounding like this: queefburpfartqueefburpfart. And yes, I just used Aubrey's name and Michael Jackson's name in the same post. I should go back to bed.
And don't you worry, Detective La Toya is in Germany right now getting to the bottom OF THIS!
"Droppa Loada in Yoda" - New from Mattel. - Qraig
After picking up trash all day and missing his boo, Chris Brown tries to simulate fucking the Alien Princess. - thejuanstar
Serta debuts their newest mattress at Comic-Con. - OurMissC
Miss Piggy is stunned at what she finds in Kermit's bedroom. - anonymouscrazycatlover
Tom OC - Ireland's biggest gangsta rap star sensation (not really). Tom OC dropped (that's gangsta rappa' talk YO) his newest single on CD and it has already become one of the top ranked....things to laugh at in Ireland. Before you tantalize your ears with Tom OC's gift, read his introduction:
**THIS IS AN UNMASTERED ROUGH VERSION AND VIDEO As A SAMPLER FOR THE DEBUT ALBUM WHICH IS DROPPIN IN LATE FALL 09! PLEASE DONT PLAYA HATE LIKE SOME OF THE OTHER COMMENTATERS HAVE, I AM JUST STARTING OUT IN DA RAP GAME AND THE FULL ALBUM GONE BE DONE SOON!!
DONT FORGET TO COP THE ALBUM
This video is an ode to my hero.
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over. Now, COP THIS:
Why does Tom OC sound like a dog meowing into a fan while having a seizure? Shit, I need to stop playa hatin' SON! And if you can't get enough of Tom OC, COP his website.
"Chillin with my homes! GANGSTA! bitchs!" - Tom OC