I was having a pleasant dinner when the person next to me said, guess who is gay. Well, it would be easier to guess who isn't gay, but I said I didn't know. They then said the name of this married, foreign born, former A list female singer and sometime actress who will always have A list name recognition. I had never even heard a peep she was. A gay right supporter for sure, but gay? Absolutely 100%. (CDAN)
CHARO!!!! Where do you think "cuchi cuchi" came from?
Could it be this person is just ticked they didn't win? Could be, but let us judge for ourselves. This ex contestant (you will never get it) of a top ranked non cable reality show spilled that one of the show's judges hates white people. The judge makes no effort to talk to anyone who is white and will go out of their way to not talk to white people. During the taping of the show, the cameras would have to roll for a very, very long time to ever hear anything positive about a white contestant from this judge. Most of the time it would take a prompt from a producer to get the judge to say anything remotely positive about the white contestants. (CDAN)
All I know is that this isn't Randy Jackson, because he has in Journey which is one of the whitest bands in history.
Ben Kingsley told a story on The View this morning about an unpleasant dinner he had at the home of a Hollywood actor: “There are times when I wish I could have said or done something differently. [For example] The last time I was here, there was an old Hollywood actor who invited me back to his home. He was with his aging German girlfriend. I was instantly nervous around her. During the meal, she said ‘Are you Jewish?’. And I said ‘No as a matter of fact, I’m half Indian and half English.’ And she said ‘Oh my god, that’s even worse.’ [audience gasps] So, I did not drop my knife and fork and say ‘Fuck you’. I stayed in a state of rage throughout the dinner. Why? Because everything happens for a reason. And now here I am with you and [pointing at the camera] if you’re still around, you racist old witch…[gesturing to The View panel] these girls have now heard it, and you know who you are! You know who you are!” (Blind Gossip)
I think Robert Redford just married a German lady.... But whoever it is will now be turned away at the doors of Heaven for fucking with Gandhi!
Which late-night TV host is having Tiger Woods-like problems? One woman has already come forward, but at least one more is looking to sell her sordid story. (Page Six)
All of the abuelitas of the country are going to take their switches to George Lopez's ass.
Now that it's starting to get hotter I'm seeing more and more dudes walking the public streets wearing a cardigan but nothing else underneath it. Not even a half-shirt, a dickey or pasties. Nothing. It makes them look like they reek of Cool Water and are graduates of Dimitri The Lover's School of Elegance. Maybe they are sick of chicks having all of the nip slip fun, so they are trying to get themselves a piece. It works for me.
I only wish that Mr. Rogers was still around to partake in this new trend. Actually, maybe it's better that he isn't, because I don't think Lady Elaine Fairchilde could take getting an eye full of Mr. Rogers nip.
Anyways, here's Colin Farrell going commando on top while leaving a store in Los Feliz, CA yesterday.
Men's Health Magazine has put out their annual Worst Drinks in America list and Cold Stone Creamery's PB&C shake took the #1 spot thanks to the 2,010 calories your body will gain if you drink an entire 24 fl oz cup of it.
To put this into perspective, 2,010 calories is what you would ingest if you licked a little bit of Paul Mason's pre-cum or inhaled near Aretha Franklin after she sneezed. On the other side, I don't think Angie Jo has consumed 2,010 calories total in her lifetime.
Here's the details from Men's Health. Keep a shot of insulin near you just in case:
Cold Stone PB&C (Gotta Have It size, 24 fl oz)
131 g fat (68 g saturated)
153 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 30 Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies
In terms of saturated fat, drinking this Cold Stone catastrophe is like slurping up 68 strips of bacon. Health experts recommend capping your saturated fat intake at about 20 grams per day, yet this beverage packs more than three times that into a cup the size of a Chipotle burrito. But here’s what’s worse: No regular shake at Cold Stone, no matter what the size, has fewer than 1,000 calories. If you must drink your ice cream, make it one of the creamery’s “Sinless” options. Otherwise you’d better plan on buying some bigger pants on the way home
Kirstie Alley is probably throwing a Kanye shrug at this, because she puts SlimFast powder in a PB&C shake and makes a sensible breakfast out of it. Hell, she probably brushes her teeth with it.
That mess is every flavor of disgusting, and yet I still want to bathe in a bath tub full of it. Goodbye working arteries, hello deliciousness!
Billy Goat Brad finally has a best friend to bump heads with in the field and to scale the sides of mountains with while trying to get away from hongray
Angie Jos jackals. Yes, I've been watching Life again. But enough about me, and more about Billy Goat Brad's new cuddle partner in the barn. People says that Rob Lowe has given himself a Skid Row fugunder to play an "insane" movie star for three episodes of Californication.
Rob wouldn't say if his character is based on Billy Goat Brad, but if they were standing next to each other it would take Maddox a few seconds to decide which one to throw a rope over and lead to the stream for a drink.
Rob better keep a beautiful Jennifer Aniston portrait tucked under his chin minge at all times just in case Angie Jo gets confused and starts feeding from the wrong pair of nuts.
Eva Longoria looking like a deranged raccoon in the face. And Posh looking like a deranged raccoon attacked her head. Hmmm - Lainey Gossip
AnnaLynne and Angel McCord are over this shit. Just like I'm over them trying to be the new Landers Sisters - Egotastic!
Boy Lohan lied - The Superficial
Kate Hudson looks mighty proud of her new titty situation - Hollywood Tuna
Cameron Diaz or a sun-dried Kiki Dunst? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
It's a good thing Justin Bieber can't read or this might make him cry extra hard during potty training - Towleroad
RiRi as Slash......Come again? - Celebitchy
That cracking noise you hear is coming from Squinty Zellweger's ankles - Popoholic
XXXtina's Ho Shit Tour has been put on pause - Just Jared
I hope Gwen Stefani is knocked up because we haven't had a fucked up baby name in a long time - Popsugar
Mindy McCready may or may not have overdosed on pills - I'm Not Obsessed
Duh. - ICYDK
Celebrity Baby Tossing is going to be a new game show on NBC in 3..2.. - Cityrag
What Tiger Woods' gardeners look like - Holy Moly!
Must resist making a "Cannes" joke - Moe Jackson
But Jessica Simpson's fitness video will be in Papa Joe's pants at one point or another - Hollywood Rag
Answer: He swallowed it. Soooooo...Tommy Girl is on the cover of Esquire's "How To Be A Man" issue (too. fucking. easy.), and in it he talks about everything from riding a bike to the dick cheesy shit that comes out of his mouth before he goes to bed with Stepford Katie every night. Tommy sounds borderline sane in this interview, so I'm guessing Suri and L. Ron Hubbard's hologram stayed up all night writing out his answers. Here's a few choice quotes:
Tommy Girl on how he knows how to work a pair of sequined hot pants under a disco ball: "If anyone was teasing my sisters, I really felt it... I'd create different characters and ad-lib sketches to make my sisters and my mother feel better. I'd try to make them laugh. I'd do Donald Duck as John Wayne. I'd watch Soul Train and imitate the dancers. I guess you can say that's where it started. I always had a dream to be in movies, [my family] didn't say, That's impossible. They laughed."
Tommy Girl on how he knows how to ride a roaring bitch: "Now, I'd ridden bikes a lot. When I was a kid, I'd set up ramps for jumps, like Evel Knievel, and crash all the time. I'd done it all — but never on a minibike. I got on. Of course, all I wanted to do was go fast, so I hit the throttle. I started off by a neighbor's yard, went past our yard, which had a little hump, and suddenly I was airborne... Rrrrrrrrrrr! The minibike is still going. Oh, no, I'm alive... Okay, I'm alive. The minibike was wedged between the bumpers of the two cars. What a lesson: Know before you go. [You don't] have to curb your enthusiasm. Just fill it in with a little knowledge."
Tommy Girl on the couch abuse incident: "What happened, happened... I wanted the audience to be happy just like I wanted to make my sisters and my mother happy when I did those skits as a kid. But I'll take responsibility for my actions... Afterward, wild things were being said about me, and once they're in the ether, there's nothing you can do about it. It felt like being the new kid in the schoolyard again and the other kids are whispering and whispering about you and suddenly you hear what they're saying, and you think, What? That didn't happen. Look at the reality of the situation."
Tommy Girl on his love for Stepford Katie: "Because we do live in a cynical world. It's easy to be cynical. Making the choice not to be cynical is important. You can keep dwelling on what didn't work, or you can figure out how to fix it. Which is what being a parent is all about. You know, I'm married to such a special woman. Every night before we go to sleep, Kate and I look at each other and it's like, How'd we do today?"
And as the images of fish in an aquarium start to flash in Stepford Katie's eyes, Tommy Girl hits CLT+ALT+DELETE to put her to bed. Then he sprays the dust out of her ears with canned air and gently pulls the computer cover up to her neck before tip-toeing down to his dungeon to cuddle with a pair of tightey whiteys he snatched from David Beckham's gym bag.
You know, Tommy Girl is right! Being cynical is as easy shit.
Here's Tommy, Katie, Suri, and a few of her friends leaving a restaurant in NYC last night. Suri's a little pissed, because she wants to be the one wearing platform heels.
The famewhore cesspool known as Millions of Milkshakes was temporarily cleansed last night after getting a drop of A-list (just politely nod) glamour from the legendary Jackee Harry!
You know every milk jug in that place got jealous when Jackee strolled in with her millions of chichis propped up to Jesus. Yes, Jackee couldn't breathe because she was strapped in tighter than Mimi at el playa, but who needs oxygen to the lungs when your 227 (that's her bra size) titties are giving everybody life.
So here's Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus pointing at a jellyfish in Mexico and trying to figure out how it will taste if they stuff if it into an armadillo and roast it on a barbecue made from a wheel barrow. And while they're focusing on that, I'm focusing on the B.U.M. Equipment tank top that is clinging on to Billy Ray's titty nipples. B.U.M. fucking Equipment!
I haven't seen a B.U.M. tank top since I wiped my forehead with one after choreographing a dance to a Mint Condition song in my mom's garage (SPOILER ALERT: That was last month). You know Billy Ray's got a pair of British Knights chanklas and a cock ring made out of snap bracelets. Bitch is the sharpest dressed possum at the ho down.
Vanilla Gorilla's latest wah wah wah airs on Nightline tonight, and he says he decided to sit down for an interview so that he can explain that touching Nazi picture of him which Bombshell McGee keeps rolled up and tucked under her Hitler clitler at all times.
Vanilla Gorilla says that he took the picture as a joke and he doesn't have a racist bone in his body. VG's racist bone better hope John Mayer's David Duke dick doesn't start talking, because I'm pretty sure they take turns bringing donuts to the Klan meetings every week.
VG said, "I could tell by the look on my face it was a joke that was funny then, probably for a minute, but then looking at it in the context of now and in my life, it's not funny... There's not a racist bone in my body."
VG also said that he didn't care that the baby he adopted with Sandra Bullock is black, because they just wanted to give a home to the kid who needed them the most, "My only prerequisite for adopting a baby: I want the baby that needs us the most. To see her in the role as mother is, like, one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. She is like a fish to water ... as soon as she put that baby into her hands, it was automatic and amazing. I found a new trust for her, like I knew she wasn't going to leave, and our relationship blossomed."
Vanilla Gorilla needs to eat his own fist for several reasons. First of all, bitch says his relationship with Sandra blossomed after they adopted Baby Louis, yet he continued to text all his whores? The only things that blossomed were the herp warts on his dick from fucking all those skanks. Second of all, the sound of his voice makes me want to sharpen a pencil with my teeth to poke my ear drums out with.
The latest clip from VG's interview is below. Put all the pencils away before hitting play.
When Tila Tequila was announced as one of the wrecks on the next season of Celebrity Rehab, I figured she was going in just to feed her addiction to camera lenses and fakery. But Radar claims that Tila is addicted to Ambien. Specifically, Tila loves to crush up Ambien pills and snort that that shit up her lizard nostril.
The source close to Tila who is probably Tila herself told Radar, “She would base her entire day around it. She would wake up, snort Ambien, Google herself, do more, Twitter all day and then sleep."
Tila wrote on her blog that she needs to clean up her mess for the sake of her gigantic media empire: “I KNOW I am an EXTREMELY smart girl, and to run all these empires when I am not even 30 yet, is quite an accomplishment, however I finally admitted to myself that I cannot rely on taking prescription pills everyday for the rest of my life! I MUST not be another 'LINDSAY LOHAN' where I just flush everything I worked so hard for down the toilet for nothing…”
Tila is in luck, because I'm pretty sure the toilet would spit that shit back out.
You know, Ambien ain't shit. Ambien is doing all of us wrong, because it's supposed to put those annoying bitches to sleep! Instead it's keep them up and giving them a reason to act the fool. Tiger Woods can do all sorts of filthy Donkey Punch stuff and then blame it on Ambien. Tila can scoot her skid marks all over Twitter and then blame it on Ambien. Ambien needs to go an "Eat Pray Love" journey of self-discovery, so it can come back and do what it's supposed to do: Knock those bitches out!