Archives
Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
This A list singer who is known for the attractive women he is always seen with and wants to be seen with spent the entire time at a fashion show he was at, collecting numbers of guys. Barely spoke to the woman he brought. It seems our singer only goes for guys in glasses. (CDAN)
The only A-list-ish singers at Fashion Week (that my ass knows of) were Kanye, Josh Groban and Lenny Kravitz. Gay Fish doesn't really fall directly under the singer category and he doesn't strike me as a fan of Cumonglasses.com, but I'll guess him anyways. And maybe he was only asking for the numbers of dudes with glasses, because he knows a really good optometrist that he wants to share with the world. Who knows with Gay Fish.
This D List star/model who is always hungry for attention, met her boyfriend in the strangest of ways. He was a longtime fan of hers, bordering on stalking her at some points in her career. He kept locks of her hair and ran a fan site. He sent her fan mail every week and at a point of desperation, she agreed to meet up with him. She claims it was love at first sight and the two have been dating ever since. (BuzzFoto)
Yes, it's true. Phoebe Price and I are very happy together.
If you’re thinking that this romance between the singer and the franchise actress is fake, well, you’re right. These two have absolutely no interest in each other other than the increased paparazzi attention celebrity coupledom brings. In reality, she prefers more mature men. Actually, so does he. (Blind Gossip)
Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas? Insert DUH right here.
It's Boo Boo!
Central Park is no stranger to hosting junked out meth faces with bulging "wheresmynextfixwheresmynextfix" eyes, greasy hair and thirstay lips, so it warmly welcomed Boo Boo the Chihuahua into its field this afternoon.
According to Guinness Book of World Records, Boo Boo is the world's smallest dog! Boo Boo is 4 inches tall, 6.5 inches long and weighs 1.5 pounds. This isn't official, but I'm sure Boo Boo is also the world's smallest crackhead! I mean, why is she giving me a look like she'll follow me all the way home unless I give her a dollar or my watch. And I totally would. I bet Boo Boo smokes the tiniest crack rock on the tiniest doll spoon. That's kind of adorable, actually.
NO! Boo Boo is not the Pete Doherty of toy Chihuahuas. Boo Boo is just scared as hell. If a baby butterfly could take you in a street fight and a human fart could send you flying into the next dimension, you too would be frightened as all fuck. But Boo Boo really has no reason to be terrified, though. The wings on her gorgeous owner's hair will protect her now and for all time.

Here's more of the dog who is smaller than some dicks promoting the new Guinness Book of World Records 2011 in NYC today. The world's tallest dog (at 3 feet 5 inches) Giant George was also there! George is looking at Boo Boo like: "My nutsack is bigger than you."
Afternoon Crumbs
The first rule of GAY HIPSTER FIGHT CLUB is: don't fuck up my hair - The Awl
What in Mr. Burns meets Chris Kattan hell did they do to Gael Garcia Bernal? - Lainey Gossip
Babies in strollers should now beware of a white Porsche instead of a Maserati - The Superficial
Rachel Uchitel's camel toe could use a manicure - Egotastic!
I'd hit it. I'd hit it. I'd brunch with it. I'd hit it. - Towleroad
Kate Gosselin's tucked, plucked and Photoshopped body on People - Celebitchy
Felicity! Put on some damn clothes! - Popoholic
JWoww is subtle - Hollywood Tuna
35-year-old Drew Barrymore is losing her baby fat - Popsugar
GQ doesn't know how to sell magazines, puts Ryan Reynolds in clothes - The Berry
LeAnn Rimes hit the gym to deal with taking a sledgehammer to two marriages. The ho has endurance! - Just Jared
Sofia Vergara is maybe engaged - I'm Not Obsessed
Was Big Brother Lane's girlfriend running from the scene? - ICYDK
The "Gingers Have Souls" kid is playing dress up, induces nightmares while doing so - OMG Blog
Who ordered the Double Down? Sorry, no refunds. - Cityrag
I can totally see Jason Biggs' Apple charger - SOW
Matt Bellamy is already bored of Kate Hudson's ass - Hollywood Rag
Josh Brolin Thinks Megan Fox Is The Next Katharine Hepburn
Katharine Hepburn has won 4 Oscars for Best Actress. Megan Fox was nominated for "Best WTF Moment" at the MTV Movie Awards. Katharine Hepburn is ranked the #1 actress in AFI's "50 Greatest Movie Legends." Megan Fox is ranked #3 in the hotties with the hottest rack list on Michael Bay's basement refrigerator. Katharine Hepburn is considered one of the greatest actors of all time. Megan Fox is considered one of the dumbest bitches of all time.
So you can completely understand why Josh Brolin is hailing Megan Fox as the Katharine Hepburn of this generation. This is what Josh tells Playboy (via Contact Music):
"What Megan has done is confuse everybody thoroughly. To me, she's doing something more interesting than what a lot of other young people in movies are doing. Katharine Hepburn, one of the most appreciated actresses today, was hated back in her heyday. She was box office poison…They didn't understand her. Yet now we all look back and go, 'OK, she was incredible.' I would love to be the person who puts Megan in a film in which she can actually do something interesting."
Josh Brolin is not alone. Earlier this year, Mickey Rourke said Megan was the most talented actress he has ever worked with. The fuck? Does she lick the taint that good?
I'm sure my night nurse at the retirement home will be spoon feeding me my own words when we watch Megan Fox accept the Honorary M. Night Shyamalan Lifetime Achivement Award at the Oscars in 40 years.
Open Post: Hosted By A Self-Serve Wine Tank
At several grocery stores in France right now, they have a wine vending machine set up that allows you to fill up your resealable container of choice (examples: a gas jug or a giant plastic trash can with lid) with either red, white or rosé. Then you print out your receipt and skip your way to Boozetown! The creator of this thing of beauty says that it works for customers, because there's no packaging, which means the wine is cheaper (1.45 euros/liter). They are hoping to bring over the wine pumping stations to North America as soon as next year.
Now, I'm not sure if you pay before you pump, or after. If the answer is the latter then supermarkets will replace Catholic churches as the go-to place to get drunk on free wine. I can already picture the line of drunk ass whores waiting to suck off that nozzle.
And Maggie Griffin, this is not a mirage. Your prayers have been answered! You two will be very happy together...forever!
Source: DrVino via Consumerist
What The Hell Kind Of GD Accent Is That?
St. Angie Jo is a world traveler whose old passport drawer is fuller than the drawer containing the nutsacks of all her victims, but damn DAMN damn she sucks at doing accents! Who keeps telling her that she should do accents in movies? Slap that bitch! Look at the first trailer for The Tourist, a movie where Angie once again plays an international woman of mystery who can unzip a man's pants with her eyes while loading a pistol with her labia.
For some reason, Angie does a foreign accent in this movie. It won't piss in your bowl of Count Chocula like her jacked up accent in Alexander, but it will still put a question mark over your head. I mean, what kind of accent is that anyway? She sort of sounds like a tongue-less Brit trying to do an American accent. I don't even know. For the love of Shiloh tell her to stop!
And I'm honestly only focusing on Angie's accent, because I refuse to talk about how Johnny Depp looks like a bloated Eddie Vedder here. Don't make me.
Christmas Is Canceled This Year
Replace your stupid Santa Claus hat with a black veil and tell the kids not to bother jumping out of bed at 4 in the damn morning like crackheads on December 25th, because 2010 is the year without Christmas! How can Christians and people who just want free gifts (aka me) celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus without hearing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's voice?! The answer: we can't! So Christmas is officially over now that Rudolph is a mute!
E! Online reports that Billie Mae Richards, the voice of Rudolph in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, passed away last week in Toronto. She (yes, Rudolph's voice had a vagina) was 88.
Billie Mae was also the voice of Tender Heart Bear in The Care Bears Movie.
Rest in Peace, Billie Mae... Make sure to drink a mashed fruitcake with rum on Christmas Day for us since we won't be celebrating down here.
(Thanks Tracy)
Panty Creamer Of The Day: Dreamboat Doherty
If you are a card carrying member of The S.A.L.T., then you better put on your anti-masturbation gloves right now and run far far away from this post! Because the sight and smell (yeah, the co-worker next to you didn't burp and queef again) of Dreamboat Doherty will send a shot of lust straight to your loins that even God can't control. That burning itching down below needs to be scratched. If only RID made lube.
It's been a while since Dlisted's genital warts flared up for Dreamy, but here he is (with enough shit under his nails to start his own ant farm) peeking at all of the action outside of a court house in London during George Michael's sentencing. Whenever Dreamy misses the days of getting yelled at by a judge, he drives up to a court house to get his fix. This is his porn. You can tell, because his cracked out eyes are so wide that even STAINS is telling him to calm down.
And now, I'll leave the two of you alone. And I'll also place a call to the exterminator, because you totally have bed bugs now.
Guest Starring In Your Nightmares Tonight
Is this cover of InTouch Weekly! Even the little one with with a Pottery Barn napkin ring on her head is crying out loud at this mess of a cover. Why oh why did InTouch Weekly feed Teresa Giudice after midnight? This is as if Wes Craven art directed a post on Awkward Family Photos. I blame Danielle Staub.
Jon Voight Is Swooning At This
Seen here moments before they used their spiritual powers to float from the escalator to the floor, St. Angie, Zahara and Shiloh swept into LAX yesterday causing mortal retinas to tingle at the sight of their bright shiny halos. Note: Halos don't show up in pictures.
These pictures will not only find their way into every Brangeloonies' family album, they will also find their way into Jon Voight's heart (right next to the tea bag). While promoting his new TV show Lone Star, Jon told OK! Magazine that he doesn't mind the tabloids printing stories about his grandkids, because he gets the vapors every time he sees pictures of them. Jon explained, “Sometimes you don’t like it because sometimes it’s distorted stuff. But I like seeing them no matter where they are. I don’t read the stuff; I just look at their picture and swoon. I love them.”
Jon then went on to burp about how he's been Skype-ing with the holy child army ever since St. Angie lifted the curse and invited him in, “All the kids are smart, I tell you. They’re beautiful children. Shiloh — boy, she’s a smart one! I’ve been away from my computer so I couldn’t get back to Maddox. I’m probably going to see him while I’m here. If I can see them in the flesh, that’s better than Skype."
Shiloh-boy?! You ain't right for that one, Jon. Not right at all. As soon as Maddox finishes tricking Aniston by Skype-ing her while wearing a Brad Pitt mask, he's going to get Jon.
Here's more of St. Angie, Zahara and Mini Brad gliding through LAX.

39 sec ago
1 min 2 sec ago
2 min 10 sec ago
2 min 16 sec ago
3 min 33 sec ago
5 min 17 sec ago
6 min 50 sec ago
7 min 13 sec ago
7 min 23 sec ago
7 min 37 sec ago