Happy 4th of July!

Unfortunately, Takeru Kobayashi didn't win Nathan's Hot Dog contest today. His ass only ate 63 dogs. Joey Chestnut from San Jose won and broke the world record by downing 66. NASTY! I was going to eat HGs today, but I think that would be a wrong move.

My favorite fat-eating ho of all-time Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas barely made the top 5. You're slacking Sonya!

Anyway, watch the video about to witness the Kobayashi Splatter. It'll keep you off the dogs today.

Happy 4th ya'll and don't forget to drink and drive! Wait, or is it don't drink and drive. I don't know, just drink!

Click here if you're having trouble with the video above