A Whole Lot Of Fake

 

Why did I watch the Emmys last night? That shit made the MTV VMAs look like the most exciting thing in the world. Reading Highlights magazine is more interesting. Actually, it really is. That magazine is hot shit.

 

Anyway, watching Xtina perform with Tony Bennett last night I thought to myself "Should a knocked up bitch really be standing on a piano in heels? Push her!" And then I thought to myself "How is Xtina going to deal with being all natural and shit?"

 

I mean knocked up hos should try and be as natural as possible. Xtina's world revolves around fake tanners, make-up and hair bleach. She needs to go natural bad. She looks like a Palm Beach retiree. The old slut in the retirement community that is always looking for dick that works.

 

Hopefully, she'll take my advice and bring out and get in touch with her inner granola. Probably not, she'll find a way to keep the fake.