Madonna Is Mother Of The Year!!

I thought I'd use a picture of a shirtless Guy Ritchie for this story even though it's not really about him. He ain't so bad actually. Looks like a bulldog, but that's never stopped me in the past.

ANYWAYS, Madonna has been declared to be a "perfect mum" after a visit by Malawi's social services. Madge can officially adopt David Banda after a 3-day visit from Simon Chisale, Malawi's chief social welfare officer.

Here's all the wonderful things Simon noticed:

Madonna built a special African zoo room where all the children can learn about David's birthplace

Madonna likes to bake cakes

Madonna's carpets are so luxurious it feels like walking on live sheep

Lourdes and Madonna are learning David's native Chichewa language

Madonna is planning to build her own orphanage in Africa where children will learn Kabbalah beliefs

Here we go with that kabbalahwallaballaa shit again. Save it Madge! Put it in the bank. Those African kids don't want to learn about that shit! Don't they have their own spiritual beliefs?!

I don't want to walk on live sheeps!!! That'll hurt them. It's not nice and it's not luxurious.

And I'm sure this is how the visit really went down, "Ello Mr. Social Services Man. My name is Madonna and here is a check for 3 million pounds. Have some tea? Blimey! Pip pip, Cheerio!"

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