Bunker? Is That What He's Calling It?

 

Tom Cruise is planning to shell out 10 million clams on an underground bunker in his Telluride, Colorado home reports Star Magazine . The joint will have its own air purification system and enough equipment and supplies for 10 people to last years.

 

Scientologists believe that when Xenu comes to Earth to attack, they will need a safe place to stay. Tommy Girl has been watching way too much Lost. You know he thinks Matthew Fox is dreamy. 

 

Let's be real here for a second. Tommy Girl is not building a bunker. He's building a bath house. I mean...that sounds like a bath house to me. He's going to tell everyone it's for when the evil ruler of the Universe comes to town, they will all hide down there. The only hiding going on in that bunker will be Tommy's tongue hiding in some twink's butt. Truth. Yes. 

 

Oh and Xenu is not the evil ruler of the universe. Skeletor is! DUH!!! Everyone knows that.