That Poor Cat

 

John Travolta needs to quit it with the dead cats on his head. Everyone knows that he's as bald as Brit Brit's vagina and just as rancid. Besides the split-wave went out in the 80s. He is so gay that it's burning rainbows into my eyes. He looks like he sings showtunes for old queens at a tired drag bar in the West Village on Sunday afternoons.  

 

Katie Holmes needs to take a good look at Kelly Preston, because that's her in 10 years. A Stepford twit who refuses to see the fact that her husband is gayer than a sorcerer princess cat. Seriously, that princess cat is a sorcerer.  

 

Here's Johnny with Kelly and Kirstie Alley at the Hollywood Awards. Kirstie looks like she's spanxed to death. Can she even breathe?