Paris Hilton Is A Painkiller

Scientists have found that Paris Hilton causes male mice to calm down from stress and pain. A cardboard cutout of the skank heiress is being used on lab mice to see if being around humans has any effect on them. They found that when the cutout is around male mice stop licking their wound from a painful injection. The cutout has no effect on the female mice.

Poor mice! They have to deal with being caged up, getting poked and now they have to deal with having that slut staring at them? Of course they aren't licking their wounds. They are afraid if they open it up just a little bit with their tongue her skankness will jump in and infect them more. It's better to keep that shit closed when she's around.

Here's Parasite in South Korea today looking like she just stepped off the short bus. Is she wearing her IQ on her purses now?