For some reason NYC is currently experiencing a sick bedbug infestations. I’ve seen signs on mattresses in some neighborhoods telling sluts not to take it, because it’s infested. So, it’s no surprise that Maya Rudolph and her director husband, P.T. Anderson, have this problem.

The couple have filed a $450,000 lawsuits claiming that immediately after they moved into their SoHo loft with their baby, they were infested with the nibbly creatures. The bitches were paying $13,500 a month and were told the building was perfect.

The court papers filed say, "The plaintiffs were bitten over portions of their bodies by bedbugs. Apparently unbeknown to plaintiffs, the premises were infested with bedbugs."

Dirty! Bedbugs are so damn nasty. You can’t get rid of that crap. I hope they shaved off their heads and burned all their clothes.

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Lindsay Blohan's spokeswhore said that the Ninety Day AA chip she was photographed wearing wasn't hers. She was wearing it to support a friend.

"It was a tribute to a friend who's been sober 90 days."

Um...ok? Shouldn't she pay tribute to her friend by not drinking for at least one night. Bitch was out like 5 times last week, boozing it up. Stupid ass.

Blowing Blohan at the "Bobby" premiere in L.A. on 11/1

Haggard prays to God to please not make it hurt this time!

I don’t know what the president of the National Association of Evangelicals does, but apparently one of his duties doesn’t include fucking male escorts. Bummer. Reverend Ted Haggard quit his job after accusations by some male hooker that they were doing it hard for 3 years.

Teddy is stepping aside pending investigation by the church. He is apparently head of some church in Colorado Springs. Ted has admitted some guilt, but not all.

Ted made this statement on Wednesday, "I've never had a gay relationship with anybody. I'm steady with my wife. I'm faithful to my wife.” Teddy is married with five kids.

He issued this statement yesterday, "I am voluntarily stepping aside from leadership so that the overseer process can be allowed to proceed with integrity. I hope to be able to discuss this matter in more detail at a later date. In the interim, I will seek both spiritual advice and guidance."

The male hooker in question claims that they met on the internet and Teddy paid him $200 a pop and that they also did coke with each other. Teddy denies the drug allegations, claiming that he’s never touched a drug in his life. The hooker came forward when he learned that Teddy’s church supports the proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.

This dumb bitch’s wife better leave his ass. She won’t though, because she’s going to stand by him and shit. I love how he’s asking God to help him and shit. I’m sure you were asking for God’s help when that hooker was screwing you up the hiney. Damn, his ass is probably into some fucked up shit. This hooker should’ve videotaped it, for real. I would’ve videotaped that shit and sent it to that dumb whore, Jan Crouch. They are like church rivals right? Anyway, I can’t wait to see the shit that will turn up in the next coming weeks. I love gay thrillers set in the backdrop of the church!

That being said, I’d hit it. Just kidding. Ok, maybe just once.

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Last night was the Latin Grammy Awards at Madison Square Garden in NYC. Ricky Martin went home with Latin Gay of the year or something like that. He lost his sleeves which happens to most gays. He also worked the peace sign like mad. I'm guessing he looooves Lindsay Blohan and she's the keeper of the peace sign. Mean Girls is probably like his favoritest movie of all times and he likes nothing more than to turn that shit on and gab with best girls. That being said...

I'd hit that.

Here are the photos of that twat, Parasite Hilton, in Seventeen. She only was able to do the magazine if she did some lame PSA about saying no to booze or something. What a dumb ass, lying, piece of burnt pussy flesh! PETA really needs to handle this situation. They need like the dog whisperer for cats to make sure this pussy knows what he/she is getting into. To let he/she know that they will get an STD if they breathe in the same air. This cat looks a little retarded, so I'm sure it's already too late. Her toxic vag fumes have already affected him/her.

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Queer Eye For The Corpse Bride -ME2 Runner-up:

Sad when the most machismo of the group is JLo in the middle. - Topcat Natasha Femm Fatale

Christine Ebersole

Gemma Ward (19)
Jasmine Trias (20)
Dolph Lundgren (49)
Adam Ant (52)
Dennis Miller (53)
Kate Capshaw (53)
Roseanne (54)
Anna Wintour (57)
Lulu (58)

Ok all! I'm done playing with my Anna Nicole Smith doll. It's time for her to be put away. Seriously, it seems like every second there's something new about this twit. Bitch is totally creating this shit herself. Actually, her puppet master, Howard K. Stern, is. I thought I'd fill you in, just in case you haven't heard, that TMZ is reporting that Anna Nicole's true baby daddy is Larry Birkhead. In court documents filed Thursday, a woman named Laurie Payne swears to the God above that not only does Anna Nicole use AOL Instant Messenger, but she told her that Larry Birkhead was her babby daddy in those IMs.

Laurie also said that Anna previously miscarried one of Larry's babies. Laurie signed it and everything, so it's like really official. This woman also said that Anna is a crackhead, which we already know. Anna loves Methadone and Xanax. I mean, who doesn't?

So what does this do for us? Absolutely, nothing. Can they all go on Maury already and settle this like real Americans? I'm over it!!! But you know good and well I'll be writing another lame story about them tomorrow.

In what is one of the funniest stories of the day....Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have apparently received death theats from Al Quaeda. Pakistan authorities got word of a possible threat to the couple and alerted British security experts. The couple are currently in India filming the Daniel Pearl biopic. Brad Pitt is also like building houses there or something. The couple are said to have the best security now and won't be murdered.

I say...WTF? Al Quaeda are after the wrong bitches! This sounds like a huge rumor to me, but Maddox better get his ninja stars ready just in case.

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