One Hundred Pills In Thirty-Six Hours

The News of the World has published this SENSATIONAL and SCANDALIZED article about Brit Brit's wild night. I'm pretty sure all of this is bullshit, but it makes for a good read. Seriously, did Jackie Collins write this shit? I thought we were on a writer's strike. The article is long as hell, but I'll just give you the basics. It's a riot!

Britney took nearly 100 pills in 36 hours leading up to her meltdown. She took 2 bottles of Nyquil, 20 Clenbuterols, 18 herbal uppers, 18 Piriton antihistamines, 12 Vicodins, 10 sleeping pills, 8 antacid pills, 1 bottle of Pepto Bismol, 10 Zantacs, 6 Ritalins and 2 full bottles of Oxycontin

KFed was afraid Britney would shoot both his sons dead with the gun he gave her. Brit keeps a Beretta 92FS near her bed

Britney begged KFed over the phone to let her keep the boys. She offered him $100 million

When one of KFed's bodyguards tried to take the boys from her she bit him in the leg

She called up Jamie Lynn and told her that she wasn't going to be the only Spears on the cover of a magazine next week

She bashed her head into the wall in a fit of rage

The laughs! If Brit has those many pills at her disposal then I need to skedaddle my ass to whatever gas station she's at and become best friends with her. I'll gladly take those off her hands. And it sort of makes sense that she offered KFed $100 million. I was wondering why KFed's lawyer was at her house that night?! He was there to collect the 100 million clams! Please, she drank up all her dough in Frapp form.

And since we're still talking about Brit and will probably be talking about her for a long ass time (sad, I know) TMZ reports that Brit will most likely not be on the Dr. Phil show and she wants nothing to do with him. Apparently she only talked to him for 15-minutes and not a full hour like he said in his press release. Phil was sent over there by the Spears family. He wanted to do a TV intervention (think of the raings!!!) and Brit wasn't having that.

And where's Brit now? Some are saying she's at home, some are saying she's completely disappeared and some say she's in NYC with Alli Sims. NYC?! I'm fucked. I have the Scientologists on my ass and now Britzilla? I won't see 2009.