More Beauty Queen Hijinks

These beauty queen whores need to calm the hell down. It's just a stupid contest. It's not that serious. First there was the Miss Puerto Rico getting doused in pepper spray and now there's this chick. Jessica Wittenbrink (that last name is so annoying and she's probably really particular about how it's pronounced) was crowned Miss South Florida Fair this past weekend. Her victory did not come without heartache. Jessica claims someone vandalized a $3,500 gown with lipstick. The sheriff was called in and decided there was not enough evidence to name a suspect.

Jessica's 13 opponents were all questioned. I'm sure they did it with a creepy fake smile.

Jessica wore the dress anyway and won the crown and a $4,000 scholarship. She was on "Today" this morning bitching about it. That's totally why I think the bitch did it herself. She knew her stupid ass would end up on the morning shows. I mean Miss South Florida Fair?! Look at her. She's totally thinking "I'll see you on Tuesday, Matt Lauer!"

Source: ABC News