Ebony & Ivory

Is that child wearing Uggs?! Uggs! This is the thing with Uggs. Everyone tells me it's like slipping your feet into a velvet vagina. I just can't go there. I'm gay, but I'm not that gay. David Banda can pull them off. Uggs are only for children and skanks in California that wear them with shorts.

Here's Madonna and David arriving in Los Angeles yesterday. They are a lovely pair. Madonna's face is as tight as his. Now if she'll only do something about those roots.