What Is Going On Here?

Not even Vanessa Paradis managed to wear a truly fucked up dress to the Oscars tonight! If you can't count on Paradis to wear disaster on her body, who can you count on? What is going on? Johnny Depp and Vanessa actually look like they are wearing clothes and not costumes. I'm disgusted with them! I was counting on them to truly boggle my mind with their hideously awesome outfits. No dice.

Here's also some Javier Bardem, because if you can't have fug, you might as well have the hotness known as Javier. He just won an Oscar too! I think he was telling me he wanted my body in Spanish. That's what he was saying.