Look Like A Wino

Soon, you too can look like you've just been dragged out of the gutter by your drug dealer. The Sun reports that Amy Wino will launch her own line of hair and cosmetic products. Wino's signature item will be heavy liquid eyeliner, but she's also hoping to include hairspray. Liquid eyeliner? Please, that bitch uses a Sharpee.

A source said, “She wants to bring out a range of cosmetics and fashion products. There could be hairspray, head scarves, liquid eyeliner, perfume. All the things that are distinctive of her look.”

I think this is a brilliant idea, but Wino should take it to the next level. A lot of us don't have the time to do our make-up and smoke crack, so Wino should bring the two together in one time-saving product. She should infuse all her products with crack smoke. That way when you're putting on her liquid eyeliner, you're also getting a cheap high out of it. Killing two brain cells with one product.