Jenna Jameson As Bettie Page

When I was in grade school, we did this school play on Egypt and time traveling or some shit. I helped make the costumes and I got to make Cleopatra's wig. I was so proud of it, because I spent a full 20-minutes putting this crap together using black yarn and paper clips. When I finished making it, Cherokee (that was her name) spilled glue all over it. I know the bitch was trying to sabotage me. She was jealous of my British Knights. I was able to get some of the glue off and I touched it up with a Sharpie. That wig looked like a hundred fried worms lying in a puddle of sadness.

It still looked a million times better than the shit that is sitting on Jenna Jameson's head.

Here's JJ as Bettie Page for Peta. Thanks to Photoshop, she doesn't look like a praying mantis.