Katie Holmes Is A Prisoner In More Ways Than One

Tommy Girl has seen "Sliver" way too many times. He probably loves seeing Billy Baldwin's bare ass. Tommy has spent over $1 million to have his home equipped with a crazy ass security system. The new system will have cameras in every single room. Tommy is paranoid that crazed fans or kidnappers may try to harm his family. He's also installing a security guard house and a moat that will wrap around the 13,000 square foot mansion.

Katie has told friends that she feels like a prisoner in her own home. Katie, I hate to break it to you, but you're already a prisoner in your own body. A source said, “There will be codes and devices that only Tom will have the secret information to operate. Katie, who led a carefree life before she met Tom, says it’ll be like a prison. Every move she makes inside or outside their house will be recorded. she says she’ll feel as though there is no escape from Tom’s controlling ways. You can escape the eyes of another person by going to a different part of the house. But [Katie] knows she can’t escape the roving eyes of the cameras that are constantly sweeping the house.”

What friends has Katie said this to? Has her Baby Alive doll been talking to the media again? Stick some processed peas in its mouth, because it's going to get Katie in trouble! Katie, start telling your secrets to Puppy Puffalump. That bitch can keep a secret

The source went on to say, “Katie will barely be able to move around her own home without being monitored by cameras and electrical devices.” Electrical devices? Oh shit! I wish I was around when Katie and Suri's internal computer interferes with the new security system! Katie's head will spin and she'll start spewing shit like "Tom Cruise is the best bottom I've ever been with" and "Mrs. Tom Cruise Beckham." Tommy programmed those phrases into Katie, so she can repeat them to him in the privacy of their alien chamber.

Bonus! In case you missed it! Earlier I linked this video from Gawker of Tommy celebrating his Birthday on a cruise ship a while ago. It makes me so happy. Xenu has truly given me a gift and I will repay him by becoming his 100th alien bride when it's my time.