Last night was the Latin Grammy Awards at Madison Square Garden in NYC. Ricky Martin went home with Latin Gay of the year or something like that. He lost his sleeves which happens to most gays. He also worked the peace sign like mad. I'm guessing he looooves Lindsay Blohan and she's the keeper of the peace sign. Mean Girls is probably like his favoritest movie of all times and he likes nothing more than to turn that shit on and gab with best girls. That being said...

I'd hit that.

Here are the photos of that twat, Parasite Hilton, in Seventeen. She only was able to do the magazine if she did some lame PSA about saying no to booze or something. What a dumb ass, lying, piece of burnt pussy flesh! PETA really needs to handle this situation. They need like the dog whisperer for cats to make sure this pussy knows what he/she is getting into. To let he/she know that they will get an STD if they breathe in the same air. This cat looks a little retarded, so I'm sure it's already too late. Her toxic vag fumes have already affected him/her.

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Queer Eye For The Corpse Bride -ME2 Runner-up:

Sad when the most machismo of the group is JLo in the middle. - Topcat Natasha Femm Fatale

Christine Ebersole

Gemma Ward (19)
Jasmine Trias (20)
Dolph Lundgren (49)
Adam Ant (52)
Dennis Miller (53)
Kate Capshaw (53)
Roseanne (54)
Anna Wintour (57)
Lulu (58)

Ok all! I'm done playing with my Anna Nicole Smith doll. It's time for her to be put away. Seriously, it seems like every second there's something new about this twit. Bitch is totally creating this shit herself. Actually, her puppet master, Howard K. Stern, is. I thought I'd fill you in, just in case you haven't heard, that TMZ is reporting that Anna Nicole's true baby daddy is Larry Birkhead. In court documents filed Thursday, a woman named Laurie Payne swears to the God above that not only does Anna Nicole use AOL Instant Messenger, but she told her that Larry Birkhead was her babby daddy in those IMs.

Laurie also said that Anna previously miscarried one of Larry's babies. Laurie signed it and everything, so it's like really official. This woman also said that Anna is a crackhead, which we already know. Anna loves Methadone and Xanax. I mean, who doesn't?

So what does this do for us? Absolutely, nothing. Can they all go on Maury already and settle this like real Americans? I'm over it!!! But you know good and well I'll be writing another lame story about them tomorrow.

In what is one of the funniest stories of the day....Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have apparently received death theats from Al Quaeda. Pakistan authorities got word of a possible threat to the couple and alerted British security experts. The couple are currently in India filming the Daniel Pearl biopic. Brad Pitt is also like building houses there or something. The couple are said to have the best security now and won't be murdered.

I say...WTF? Al Quaeda are after the wrong bitches! This sounds like a huge rumor to me, but Maddox better get his ninja stars ready just in case.

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Blockbuster bought Chestica Simpson to whore out their new Total Access program which works like Netflix. She of course will do anything for the right price. The thing is VIP and Chestica don't mix. Unless, by VIP they mean "Very Special (Ed) Person" then by all means.

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The Gay Bloggies Nominations were revealed today and one of my favorite bloggers, BryanBoy, was nominated 5 times including Best Blog. So please stop jacking off and use this time to vote for him in every category he's in. His anorexic ass needs the dough so he can buy some food and eat. Also, Dlisted was nominated for best design, but don't worry about us.

So Vote BryanBoy!!! Voting ends like soon or something.

This is a PSA from olden times that uses puppets to teach kids not to suck dick. This is my new jam!

Thx NicMak