JLo Graces Us With Her Presence

JLo emerged from her crystal cocoon yesterday in NYC looking not like she just had a baby. Can you say lipo overload? She probably broke the damn lipo machine. There was an overflow of JLo's fat and people almost lost their lives, but she's looking hot.

I don't think she got the memo about those sunglasses though. It must have gotten lost in the piles of money strewn about her home. Only Trollsens and Arthur the Aardvark can wear glasses like that!

The Dragon Tales Twins will not be seen for a while. You can believe in that. They only do paid appearances from now on. Basically, only Russian billionaires can afford a meeting with them. Besides, their daily schedule is already filled with manis, pedis, yoga, French lessons, bikini waxes, tanning, daily colonics and botox injections. They are busy babies!