She's Not A Pony, She's A Goat

Sarah Jessica Parker is one of those chicks that claims she eats everything in sight all day and all night. Uh...huh...and follows it up by eating a big plate of laxatives. At the premiere for "Smart People" last night, SJP said, "I eat everything. I'm just an eater. If it's free, I honestly eat everything." I wonder if she eats her husband's asshole, because you know he's into that gay shit.

When asked what she's eaten recently, she said, "Last night I had steak and some lamb shank. And I had some roasted chicken and some cassoulet and some profiteroles and some ice cream and some cheesecake." And what did she have on Monday? "I had two different tarts from Once Upon a Tart [in SoHo] and toast and a banana and a cup of coffee and a bagel with cream cheese. And a glass of fresh orange juice."

And how does she keep her pony frame so skinny? "It's predisposition probably." Is think that's pony talk for, "I shit it all out."

Here's SJP with her gay husband, Ellen Page and Dennis Quad. Matthew Broderick is looking more and more like a professional toe-tapper. I'm not talking about the kind of toe-tapping you do on stage either.