Pete Doherty Has No Friends

Dreamboat Pete Doherty is currently sitting in the chokey, probably freaking out from the heroin shakes. He's also all alone and in dire need of a few friends. The Sun reports that his friends want nothing to do with him. This is the saddest story I have ever read.

Dreamboat's current ho, Irina Whatshername, contacted Kate Moss yesterday to tell her that Dreamy's in the clink for 14-weeks. Irina couldn't get a hold of her, so she called up one of Kate's friends. The friend told Irina, “She knows. She’s seen it on TV. She doesn’t care.” That cold hearted snagtooth!

When Amy Wino heards the news, she laughed about it. To be fair, Wino was most likely on her 10th blunt of the day. That might have been the reason why she had the chuckles. A source said, “She just laughed and kept saying, ‘I can’t believe it’. Pete’s just a comedy character to Amy. She thinks he’s a bit of a clown.” Not even Wino has love for Dreamboat Incarcerated.

Don't worry Dreamboat! I'll be the Wino to your Blaaaake! I'll miss visits with you, because I'm too busy crawling out of a K hole. I'll scream for your name in the streets. I'll profess my undying love for you during awards shows. Okay, it will be bingo at the Y, but Dreamy doesn't need to know that.

Seriously, a sad British crackhead is sadder than a sad lesbian clown. And that is SAD!