Remove Bracelet And Face Death

MiserAlba gave guests at her baby shower a lovely leather bracelet with the words "life, love, health, et cetera" written on it. They were asked to put on the bracelet before saying a prayer together. Page Six reports the guests were then told not to take off the bracelet until MiserAlba's baby is born. WHAT!?

You know that's some voodoo shit! The prayer probably consisted of the words "Feel Alba's Misery, Feel Alba's Misery." They had to say it over and over again. MiserAlba doesn't want to be miserable alone, so now she's making her friends and family feel her pain. If you take off the bracelet, MiserAlba will bust through the window and unleash her inner rage on you.

Here's Alba with "only in it for the" Cash Warren in Los Angeles the other day.