Shia Can't Get Laid

Shia LaBeouf was trying to get a little nanni at the Beatrice Inn in NYC the other night, but there weren't any takers. Page Six reports that Shia was "desperately seeking a lady . . . but none of the hipster hotties were standing for it." Those dumb skanks! The dude has been arrested at a Walgreens! That's reason enough to fuck him.

Shia was apparently so hard up for coochie that he turned to one chick and said, "How do I get a girl to go home with me?" That line would work on me, but I'm a sure thing. Even the line, "How are you?" immediately makes me take off my clothes.

Shia should have tried a different bar and by "different bar" I mean my apartment.