Seven-Figures?!?

15-year-old Miley Cyrus depresses me. This girl is making more money than any of us will ever see in our lifetime....COMBINED. I need to curse out my parents for not selling me to the Disney whorehouse when I was little.

Miley can add a few more million to her money pile, because she signed a seven-figure book deal with Disney.

The book will be called "How I Became A Disney's #1 Hooker." No, it will be about her road to fame and how her family has kept it grounded. The book will feature never-before-seen pictures and family stories. Obviously, she ain't writing that shit.

Miley told People, "I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me. I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together, and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams."

I'm assuming there will be a whole chapter on how to make your MySpace pictures extra skankalicious.